Conan the Barbarian

[Dykstrav]

Glad I saw it in the theatre, although I still think the 1982 version was better.

I really liked the production design--it looked like and felt like the Hyborian age. I got the sense that civilization exists in pockets and that wilderness (and the "rule of nature, red in tooth and claw") rules most of the world. You can look at the people and immediately say, "That's a Pict, that's a Zingaran," and so forth. Spot-on visuals for portraying the world and its inhabitants. Speaking from a tabletop RPG perspective, I'd gladly point players at the film to get an idea of how sword-and-sorcery settings should look and feel.

That being said, I feel that the weakest element is the story itself. It's a basic action/adventure revenge-fantasy plot that never tries to go beyond justifying the violence of the protagonist. It's basically an excuse for action or fight scenes and makes no pretense of being anything more substantial. You could take the meat of the story and transport it into any other genre and have it work with minimal changes, so I'd properly classify it as an action movie with Hyborian window dressing. That was pretty disappointing.

Of course, I saw it with people that I gamed with and we went out for coffee after the movie. One thing we were semi-amused at was how closely we could map the plot and events of the movie to 4E. We could all pick out where action points, second winds, encounter and daily powers were used and when short rests were taken and so forth. That can be sort of amusing if you're a gamer nerd, I suppose.

Overall, I give the movie two stars. It's just another action movie at heart, but it's watchable the first time through. I'm not particularly interested in seeing it again though. If you really dig the Hyborian Age stuff and enjoy sword-and-sorcery scenery like I do, I'd go so far as to give it three stars on the strength of its production design, wardrobe, and the like. Even so, three stars feels generous. I'm not disappointed that I went to see it, but there is certainly a lot of room for improvement.

 

[Mournblade94]

I pretty much agree with you spot on. I enjoyed the movie tonight and thought it was good and a lot of fun. But it was lacking a few important things that kept it from being a great CONAN movie, and we deserved a great one!

There was little sense of urgency, I never got the sense Conan was ever really in any danger. He was certainly put in dangerous situations, but he was such a badass I was never worried for him. There wasn't a lot of good characterization across the board, the young Conan felt more real to me than Momoa's adult Conan, despite Momoa having the physicality for the role. The romantic lead was pretty blah, the "pureblood".

The movie also lacked, well, pretentiousness! Perhaps the original Conan movie spoiled me, but both Momoa and his leading lady were too contemporary in their delivery. Momoa had the brooding looks down, but then he'd start talking . . . .

The villians, however, were tons of fun. Zym and his daughter were chewing the scenery in a delicious way! Best part of the movie for me. The background scenery was pretty incredible too, you really got a sense of a world that existed in the embers of a greater, fallen age.

Lots of great stuff in this film, glad I went to see it tonight, but won't be buying the DVD. I blame it on the director, as all the elements were there, they just weren't brought together into the amazing package they should have.

Yes in Both RE HOWARD, and ROY THOMAS comics, CONAN was never in a sure shot of success. This Conan was an EPIC fighter fighting mooks. The Spirit of Conan, was maybe a 15th level fighter fighting lvl 6 to 8 fighters. NEver a sure shot, but you knew he would PROBABLY pull through.

Even the Oliver Stones John Milius Conan, had Conan get his arse handed to him once or twice.

I do not beleive that Conan falls on the Epic scale of characters. I hated the part with poisoning because it said "CONAN CAN NOT BE BEAT... unless you dull his senses". No. I was hoping to have conan get his arse kicked there, and just get madder later.

I agree. This movie was bad due to the director. I do not beleive he honestly knew conan. A director that honestly knew conan would have had conan get beat.

I thought the beginning part with the picts was ridiculous and far too sensationalist.

I did LIKE the movie, because of individual INCIDENTS. But as a whole I thought it could have been much better.

 

[Water Bob]

There is one interesting game-related moment in the film. In the Cimmeria sourcebook for Mongoose's d20 Conan Roleplaying Game, it is mentioned that when Cimmerians see hooded crows that they believe the crow signals the site of a battlefield. It's one of the few Cimmerian superstitiions mentioned in that game aid.

Well, there is a very short shot of a hooded crow (a hooded crow is a dark colored crow with a white apron around its neck) pecking on a body at the end of the scene where Conan's village is decimated.

Now, where Lawrence Whitaker, the writer of the Cimmeria game supplement, got that idea, I don't know. Maybe he made it up. But, I suspect that it might be a true Celtic superstition as I've seen several Celtic-isms make it into the book (like the Beltain festival) as Cimmerian-isms.

So, I doubt that the hooded crow makes an appearance because of the d20 Conan RPG, but it is kinda neat that it's in there.

 

[frankthedm]

Mamoa was quite good as Conan. Some dialog choices were not so great, but that's the director's responsibility.

The opening was awesome and the early parts are very good.

Climax

Spoiler

on the bridge

was very weak.

Thankfully the "no man should live in chains" line was not Conan's only motive for slave freeing;

Spoiler

the assault on the slavers was to loot the slavers treasure

& the other time

Spoiler

he had a hand in freeing slaves, it was to bring painful vengeance on an old foe

.

 

[Krug]

Pretty painful box office numbers. Conan only earned estimated US$10 million this weekend, behind The Help, Rise of Planet of the Apes and.. Spy Kids 4.

Weekend Box Office Results for August 19-21, 2011 - Box Office Mojo

 

[Water Bob]

Pretty painful box office numbers. Conan only earned estimated US$10 million this weekend, behind The Help, Rise of Planet of the Apes and.. Spy Kids 4.

Weekend Box Office Results for August 19-21, 2011 - Box Office Mojo

Yep. I think its the movie's trailer. That's why I thought the movie would suck so bad. The trailer looks like crap.

My buddy asked his 18 yo son if he wanted to see the movie, and the reply was, "No dad! That movie looks awful!"

As I said in my review, the movie isn't a GREAT movie, but it sure is better than crap. It's worth seeing, if you're a sword & sorcery fan. It's better than The Ghost Rider, which is getting a sequel, and recent genre films like the Clash of the Titans remake, The Eagle, Centurion, and Season of the Witch, plus a whole host of other recent films out there. At least, I think so.

It deserves a bigger shot than what its getting.

I bet the distributor has already given up on it, but they'd be smart to re-cut a trailer. I bet it will do much better as a DVD rental.

 

[Dykstrav]

I bet the distributor has already given up on it, but they'd be smart to re-cut a trailer. I bet it will do much better as a DVD rental.

This is exactly what I was discussing with one of my players after our Pathfinder Greyhawk game this evening. We both think that there are tons of people who are waiting for this thing to come out on DVD/Bluray/Netflix that won't go see it in the theatre--DVD sales are how that godawful D&D movie broke even, I believe. Speaking of which...

If Dungeons & Dragons got a sequel with a third installment on the way... Then by Crom, I think Conan: the Barbarian can get a sequel too (even if it's direct-to-video). It'll just take a bit longer than if it did gangbusters this weekend.

 

[Hand of Evil]

I enjoyed it and give it a weak 8 / strong 7. Visually beautiful movie, with great combat scenes. I would love to see another one.

I like Jason better than Arnie as Conan.

 

[Klaus]

Let's see if word of mouth can solve the Riddle of Steel. Conan only premieres here on September, so there may be some legs to the barbarian.

 

[Water Bob]

This shouldn't come as a surprise to Conan fans (in fact, most Conan fans embrace it), but I should have mentioned in my revidew that there is plenty of blood and grit in the new Conan film--probably more than I've seen in most other movies. Think "Spartacus", the new series, with a little more reality to it, and you'll have it about right.

There's a scene where the bad guy slams a monks head on the ground, braining him in an Al Capone kind of way. Big circle of blood on the marble steps. Lots of limbs flying and blood in the combat scenes, and there's an action scene about every 10 minutes.

That type of thing is "Conan" and fits Howard's universe well, but that type of graphic violence isn't for everyone.