If you read the rules for raise dead all it says is you need a the component, a cleric who can cast 5 level spells and a soul willing to come back.
Anything else is up to the DM which is how I think it should be.
Right, but as far as I know, a house rule is actually changing or omitting a mechanical rule. I don't think saying a cleric of Heironeous wouldn't be willing to raise a follower of Nerull is a house rule, just a ruling in an area where rules are silent.
The other argument that if you can't die then there is no tension in combat that it is an automatic win kinds of loses its strength if you have a cleric in the party high enough to cast raise dead and you party has the wealth to do it.
I don't understand how there is really any difference between the two because at that point death is in no way permanent.
I think there definitely is a lot of tension lost when the party can regularly raise people, but the stress might come in other areas. The Cleric can raise you, but he's missing 25,000 gp (or you are) that could be spent building roads, upgrading a temple, reinforcing your castle, hiring mercenaries, etc. But, this is just a consequence other than death, which -as other have pointed out- can add to the game just as death can.
But, if you do consider that many (most?) games take place at the lower levels where raising the dead isn't the normal option in the party (nor has the funds to do so, necessarily), I think that there might be a big difference between a "you can die" style of game and a "you can't, but you can lose" style of game.
Neither are right or wrong. It's just a matter of taste. But, like I said, I do agree with the player bringing it to the GM's attention. I support the GM in staying with his preferred style, but I think it was the right call from the player to express what he likes in a game.
I have learned the hard way that not playing is far better than playing in a game that you don't enjoy.
Yep, that's usually true. As always, play what you like
