How to deal with a problem player

[Grogg of the North]

Out of curiosity, have you talked with the rest of the group? Are they as bothered by this behavior as you are?

 

[Umbran]

That's a good point. I was concerned that a preemptive stike might put the player on the defensive and hinder further discussion.

If we were discussing a player with whom the GM had no personal experience, and the "problems" were just hearsay from other people, I'd agree with you - let him actually show the problematic behavior before you deal with it. This case has direct history, though, and he can use that context to his advantage in dealing with the player.

 

[kitsune9]

If you know that the player is a problem before you start DMing, you can mitigate it with a social contract and also in your campaign primer. State how you'll run and what you will not tolerate. Outline the specific behaviors that will not be conducive to play. I find that this eliminates a lot of problems before they start when players know what I'm all about regarding my DMing style.

 

[Janx]

If you know that the player is a problem before you start DMing, you can mitigate it with a social contract and also in your campaign primer. State how you'll run and what you will not tolerate. Outline the specific behaviors that will not be conducive to play. I find that this eliminates a lot of problems before they start when players know what I'm all about regarding my DMing style.

it certainly seems reasonable to couch this as a pre-game announcement that as a new DM, you need players help to make it run smoothly. If a rules question comes up, if multiple people don't know the exact rule, the DM will make something up in order to keep the game moving. No arguments are allowed after that.

 

[Blitzkind]

Out of curiosity, have you talked with the rest of the group? Are they as bothered by this behavior as you are?

Sorry for the late reply. Yes, I have and they are less annoyed with it than I am, but still are bothered.

 

[Aberzanzorax]

There's also the "I'm a new DM, and I know I'm going to not be great at first, but could you please all work with me to help everything go smoothly? An expert DM might be able to juggle more information/challenges/player versus player dynamics...but I'm not that expert, yet. So, if we could all agree to go easy on me and each other, maybe we could make this fun, and also a learning experience. Next campaign I run, we can be more hardcore."

You could also add "And please. Let me make mistakes in game, and let me know about them afterwards. I may say yes when I should say no, or vice versa, or not allow something I should, or vice versa...but from what I've observed and read, I think it's more fun to just continue the game, make some mistakes, and then learn from it at the end of the session. You should always feel free to give me feedback after the fact...it's how I'll learn. But during the session, I'll have my head full of organizing material I'm not used to, and would really prefer to master the big picture over specifics, in game. I do want to learn the specifics as well, but those can be done after the fact...rather than derailing the whole game over 2 points of initiative or somesuch."

 

[Li Shenron]

Like I said, this is my first time being a DM and my group of players are all friends of mine who I've played with before as a player. One in particular tends to always make trouble for our DM (Out of Character actions, getting upset when he can't do something that the DM declares impossible, and not giving the DM his character's backstory).

"Friends, I want to try and play the game with a pace and style different from our usual. Let's all try a more immersive type of D&D game, where we do our best to think, speak and act in character. No talking about the rules as if the rules didn't exist. Let's keep those discussions for the aftergame, or at most when we take a break."

Also, don't bother about the backstory, it is not really necessary to play the game, and some players don't like spending too much time with so don't force anybody to do so (just because the DM likes that, she should understand that it's not the only way to play the game right).

 

[enrious]

Talk to him and explain your concerns. Let him know that you want to game with him but that if he causes significant problems, you'll boot him. Then stick to it.

Ever have that thought that you wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self some bit of advice so they'd make your life easier?

Jester just did that for you.

 

[Jhaelen]

not giving the DM his character's backstory

Huh?!
Is that something people do? What's the point about writing a backstory then?

 

[the Jester]

Hey [MENTION=6695310]Blitzkind[/MENTION], any updates on the situation?