There are posters here with better build-fu than me, but here are some ideas.
For your paladin sorcerer I might try a STR/INT swordmage with paladin multi-class (requires 13 WIS - not too expensive) - you can build this as a dual-wielder, not necessarily tripping but other forms of control coming from your swordmagery, and you can be weapons first with your magic providing utility (though not via explicit buffing, but rather by giving you weapon attacks extra effects via your swordmage powers). Your armour would be leather by default, but Unarmoured Agility can give you the same AC in cloth for a feat. Your CHA won't be that high, so you won't have much in the way of Bluff; and your archery will suck. (You'll have to pick up Acro from a feat or a background; likewise Bluff.)
A bladesinger (from the Neverwinter book) has DEX/INT, and so good archery as well as melee attacks that are enhanced by at-will utility attack-buffs. Your CHA will still be low, and you'll have trouble with paladin multi-class (both the STR/WIS mins of 13+, and the stats for any other powers you ended up taking).
A paladin/swordmage hybrid (STR and INT) might be a little underpowered but not completely unviable, I would think. If your paladin at-will is Valiant Smite then even though you have it from 1st level there'd be nothing about it that would betray your paladin-ness. Then if you don't take paladin encounter, utility and daily powers until 3rd, 6th and 5th the whole "growing into it" story would be preserved. You'll have the same limitations as the swordmage/multi-class paladin as far as DEX and CHA are concerned.
Post the character sheet? But I'm thinking of an apprentice wizard theme for the splash of arcane power added to a sorceror. A bladesinger or swordmage with a paladin multiclass feat might also work - it all depends on exact implementation.
Ok basic details on this human paladin/sorcerer:
Str 12
Dex 15 <- highest stat
Con 10
Int 13
Wis 8 <- designated dump stat, this pc wouldn't be the same without a wis penalty
Cha 14 <- second highest stat
Trained skills
Appraise +4
Bluff +6
Concentration +6
Diplomacy +4
Handle animal +4
Ride +4
tumble +4
UMD +3
(notice k:arcana and spellcraft aren't trained at all, this is a major aspect of the character)
Feats
1- Two Weapon fighting
Human- Martial Weapon proficiency [Halberd] (didn't know this pc was going to eventually multiclass, this chracter evolved organically)
3- Weapon Finesse
Spells
0 level :
Detect Magic (I know this is a part of arcana in 4e, but this character shouldn't get training on it)
Ray of Frost (hasn't actually come up at all wouldn't be an actual loss)
Dancing Lights < Favorite spell
Light < Used very often
1st
Mage Armor
Magic Missile (not seen too much use, only a couple of times at all)
Basically on 4e terms, this guy fights like a ranger, sees evil, lays on hands and smashes like a paladin, uses inborn uility magic and some small self buffing, while also having the ocassional MM, And is very social and switches between tanking and battlefield mobility.
For your priestess of love I'd try the lazy warlord route with cleric multi-class; or a hybrid pacifist cleric/lazy warlord, perhaps. The idea is that your cleric powers don't do damage, and your warlord powers buff and/or activate allies rather than involve you doing stuff yourself. The lasso is hard to build in, unless you go for powers that involve forced movement and reflavour them as lasso called shots - which might be a bit of a stretch (boom boom!). The archery you can get via Archer Warlord and STR, or if your lazy warlord can be built around the WIS you're using as a cleric (I don't know all the warlord options well enough), then you can just pump DEX as your second stat.
Pacifist builds for clerics are mostly in Divine Power - if you look through it the elements are pretty clear. You're correct that in 4e if others are attacking to kill then the fact that you want to subdue won't help. I personally like this change, as I think it makes the stake and the intra-party dynamics a bit more clear. That's just my taste, though.
I'm hearing something based on a Lazy Warlord here. Again post the character sheet.
Don't have it at hand, but as far as i can recall:
Highest stats Dex, Wis & Cha, dump stat Str. This PC was very invested on the Lasso, being a very usefull weapon for tripping, disarming and crowd control (not to mention going nuts with knots),
SPheres: Animal, healing, Charm, protection, summoning
Granted powers: inspire berseker rage, turn undead, soothing word, charm, inspire fear
However this pc was primarily meant for interaction, not for combat, I cannot think of a good way to have meteorology, cooking & 100 uses for rope represented on 4e without a heavy reliance on page 42
Honestly this second part tells me "Disruptive characters are disruptive and the Cleric no longer gets a free ride. Before 4e people would put up with a disruptive cleric because few wanted to play the healbot but everyone liked having one around." You don't have to tell the strikers how to play their characters. You just have to get player rather than in character buy in to the conceit that people you have damaged don't die.
The point is, never before I felt this character concept was disruptive, 2e's "I will help you to get there, in combat I'm not very useful so I will limit to keep you on fighting condition and out of problems acting more in self defense" or "I will keep you patched, in combat I will help you defeat enemies but not to kill them, in return I will provide as much as four times the regular healing which even accounting being a little more hurt by me not being that combat effective will allow you to fight twice as many fights as you'd normally be, and In a pinch I can hurt mysself to heal you even more, not to mention I'm not taking away your spotlight as a combatant", in my experience those were very enabling roles. In 4e that becomes disrupting because you have very limited healing resources every fight and you only prolong what are very long fights to begin with, and you aren't that effective at healing if you don't contribute to the slaughter, and there is no way to change that, even the pacifist healer feels like a copt out, it only punishes you for not being pacifist, instead of giving you the ability to act like one. Temp damage was good, it gave you the ability to spare your enemies regardless of who did the final attack, but I guess there are too many things to track already