Character Submission Thread
- Thread starter perrinmiller
- Start date
Rathan
First Post
Offering up for approval please! Thanks in Advance! Doren Kane
Aura
Explorer
Second Look: Cruendithas Beestinger
I made a mistake in saying that you'd apparently taken your Obsessive racial feature bonus. You can still do that. Better yet, the LPF version of the ability has been changed to include the following: Appraise, Bluff, Diplomacy, Handle Animal, Linguistics, Profession, Spellcraft and Use Magic Device (a skill you've pumped up, perhaps here?). Feel free to take a +2 in any one of those things, and my apologies for missing it initially.
I made a minor edit (a few carriage returns) to make your Knowledge Skills easier to read. Somehow, a few got run together.
This said, you got all the necessary stuff for a: STAMP! One non-judge APPROVAL.
I made a mistake in saying that you'd apparently taken your Obsessive racial feature bonus. You can still do that. Better yet, the LPF version of the ability has been changed to include the following: Appraise, Bluff, Diplomacy, Handle Animal, Linguistics, Profession, Spellcraft and Use Magic Device (a skill you've pumped up, perhaps here?). Feel free to take a +2 in any one of those things, and my apologies for missing it initially.
I made a minor edit (a few carriage returns) to make your Knowledge Skills easier to read. Somehow, a few got run together.
This said, you got all the necessary stuff for a: STAMP! One non-judge APPROVAL.
Aura
Explorer
Reviewing Hawk
Welcome to LPF, Tailspinner. I'll be doing a non-judge review for you, which means you'll need one judge review to get your final approval. I don't directly fix your character sheet, with exception of obvious typos. And every now and then I'm just wrong on an issue; feel free to state your case if need be. Onward!
Stuff That Needs Fixin':
* Exactly what weapon and armor it is, under Equipment, doesn't seem to be stated outright. I assume Great Sword (from weapon section) and Chain Shirt (from general stats), but you'll want to clarify that.
Stuff That Could be Changed:
* You get one free regional language, such as High Landellian. BTW, 'common' is Low Landellian, so you already have that.
* Unless you're really after the Acrobatics roll, I recommend Fleet of Foot over Sure Footed for halflings. And I think a 40' move halfling is funny.
Notation Issues and Typos:
* The adjustment for WIS was stated at -1, even though everything else indicates +0 to be correct. Fixed.
* You'll want to note the nature of misc modifiers, like from size, instead of leaving it 'misc'. This happens in Combat Stats, Weapon Stats and Skills.
* The mechanics for the Rage Class Feature seems missing.
* I'd personally include the stat modifiers even for skills that cannot be used untrained, particularly since they can be conditionally used untrained, such as some Knowledge skills. Wholly deleting such skills is also alright; at least you'll have no erroneous information on the character sheet in such a situation.
* Not that it matters that much, but feel free to state the unrounded weight of your armor at 12.5 pounds. It will let you carry more, later on. There are many items on the equipment list that are fractionally accounted already, so this is not out of line.
* Similarly, it's worth fractionally accounting breakpoints in carrying capacity: 43.5 / 87 / 131.25
Comments:
* Nothing like a good, simple, name for people to remember you by. I am a protagonist of that school of thought.
* Halflings. Everyone loves halflings. Strangely, I don't play one, though.
* This said, being a Halfling is really costing you. Not only all the traditional ways, but you are getting one of your stat bonuses in a dump stat and a penalty in a primary stat. The same array can be purchased on a human, half elf or half orc for 18 points. This isn't saying 'don't be a halfling', but, at lest, 'make sure it's what you really want.'
* Clothing, armor, weapon. Done shopping, zero change.
* Your background infers a significant and rather recent event in Venza. Not that such a thing is out of line in a living world built up by many people, but it's worth noting. Ask a judge if anything special is to be done in this case.
* Roleplayers, as a group, are hard on parents in backgrounds. I blame Bambi.
OK, NOT YET, just a little stuff I'd like to see and a number of things to consider, and we'll get you approved.
Welcome to LPF, Tailspinner. I'll be doing a non-judge review for you, which means you'll need one judge review to get your final approval. I don't directly fix your character sheet, with exception of obvious typos. And every now and then I'm just wrong on an issue; feel free to state your case if need be. Onward!
Stuff That Needs Fixin':
* Exactly what weapon and armor it is, under Equipment, doesn't seem to be stated outright. I assume Great Sword (from weapon section) and Chain Shirt (from general stats), but you'll want to clarify that.
Stuff That Could be Changed:
* You get one free regional language, such as High Landellian. BTW, 'common' is Low Landellian, so you already have that.
* Unless you're really after the Acrobatics roll, I recommend Fleet of Foot over Sure Footed for halflings. And I think a 40' move halfling is funny.
Notation Issues and Typos:
* The adjustment for WIS was stated at -1, even though everything else indicates +0 to be correct. Fixed.
* You'll want to note the nature of misc modifiers, like from size, instead of leaving it 'misc'. This happens in Combat Stats, Weapon Stats and Skills.
* The mechanics for the Rage Class Feature seems missing.
* I'd personally include the stat modifiers even for skills that cannot be used untrained, particularly since they can be conditionally used untrained, such as some Knowledge skills. Wholly deleting such skills is also alright; at least you'll have no erroneous information on the character sheet in such a situation.
* Not that it matters that much, but feel free to state the unrounded weight of your armor at 12.5 pounds. It will let you carry more, later on. There are many items on the equipment list that are fractionally accounted already, so this is not out of line.
* Similarly, it's worth fractionally accounting breakpoints in carrying capacity: 43.5 / 87 / 131.25
Comments:
* Nothing like a good, simple, name for people to remember you by. I am a protagonist of that school of thought.
* Halflings. Everyone loves halflings. Strangely, I don't play one, though.
* This said, being a Halfling is really costing you. Not only all the traditional ways, but you are getting one of your stat bonuses in a dump stat and a penalty in a primary stat. The same array can be purchased on a human, half elf or half orc for 18 points. This isn't saying 'don't be a halfling', but, at lest, 'make sure it's what you really want.'
* Clothing, armor, weapon. Done shopping, zero change.
* Your background infers a significant and rather recent event in Venza. Not that such a thing is out of line in a living world built up by many people, but it's worth noting. Ask a judge if anything special is to be done in this case.
* Roleplayers, as a group, are hard on parents in backgrounds. I blame Bambi.
OK, NOT YET, just a little stuff I'd like to see and a number of things to consider, and we'll get you approved.
Aura
Explorer
Reviewing Doren Kane
Welcome to LPF, Rathan. I'll non-judge review your character. Assuming you pass, you'll then only need one judge approval to be ready for play. I only edit your sheet for typos, the rest is suggestions for you to go edit. And I sometimes make mistakes--feel free to point out if you think I am in error. As for Doren...
Stuff That Needs Fixin':
* Your traits are not stated. They are nice little benefits that you would probably want to have.
* It seems you missed your Skilled racial feature in your skill point count. You get one more point.
* The ACP for your armor and shield seems to have been omitted on ACP-effected skills. I get -4 for your armor/shield.
* Skills that can only be used trained require a rank (skill point) to be added to activate them. Simply being a class skill, in of itself, doesn't do that. So apparently have some skills that look like they are usable, but really are not. Similarly, other skills which are usable untrained are not noted. A fair amount of editing in the skills section is needed, if you have any questions I'll happily answer them. Alternately, I can do my best to fix up the section, if you like.
* Your movement should be reduced to 20' due to encumberance.
* 20 sling bullets only costs 2 sp.
Stuff That Could be Changed:
* You have bonus languages you can take. One for INT, and one regional language, such as High Landellian, that everyone can have if they like. Common is Low Landellian, so you effectively already have that. (Low Landellian is also the primary language of Tritower, where your goddess' center of worship is.)
* You have a WIS of 14. Nothing wrong with that, but I thought I'd mention CHA is the casting stat for Paladins, unlike DnD 3.0/3.5. So you have a stat you can farm out of if you were thinking you needed it for spells.
Notation and Typos:
* In skills, 'CS' is the generally understood column for the class skill bonus. You can move the +3 out of Misc to that spot for clarity.
* Racial Features: You seemingly forgot to add Skilled and Bonus Feat to this section
* I like explicitly noting the encumberance level ("Medium Encumberance") that results from what you are carrying, but it's not required.
* Maintaining coin types in finances is rather difficult to do clearly and without mistakes. The 10 gold you used to 'make change' from your silver and copper expenditures virtually disappears, even if the final result is correct. I recommend using fractional accounting when totaling columns. (I get 139.12 gp spent including the sling bullet expenditure noted above.)
Comments:
* I'm a fan of classic-style characters, which Doren seems to fit.
* The high-AC paladin using lay on hands to keep himself going (as a free action) seems to be a rather viable character type.
In short, NOT YET, there are a number of mechanical issues that need to be resolved. However, it's all fixable.
Welcome to LPF, Rathan. I'll non-judge review your character. Assuming you pass, you'll then only need one judge approval to be ready for play. I only edit your sheet for typos, the rest is suggestions for you to go edit. And I sometimes make mistakes--feel free to point out if you think I am in error. As for Doren...
Stuff That Needs Fixin':
* Your traits are not stated. They are nice little benefits that you would probably want to have.
* It seems you missed your Skilled racial feature in your skill point count. You get one more point.
* The ACP for your armor and shield seems to have been omitted on ACP-effected skills. I get -4 for your armor/shield.
* Skills that can only be used trained require a rank (skill point) to be added to activate them. Simply being a class skill, in of itself, doesn't do that. So apparently have some skills that look like they are usable, but really are not. Similarly, other skills which are usable untrained are not noted. A fair amount of editing in the skills section is needed, if you have any questions I'll happily answer them. Alternately, I can do my best to fix up the section, if you like.
* Your movement should be reduced to 20' due to encumberance.
* 20 sling bullets only costs 2 sp.
Stuff That Could be Changed:
* You have bonus languages you can take. One for INT, and one regional language, such as High Landellian, that everyone can have if they like. Common is Low Landellian, so you effectively already have that. (Low Landellian is also the primary language of Tritower, where your goddess' center of worship is.)
* You have a WIS of 14. Nothing wrong with that, but I thought I'd mention CHA is the casting stat for Paladins, unlike DnD 3.0/3.5. So you have a stat you can farm out of if you were thinking you needed it for spells.
Notation and Typos:
* In skills, 'CS' is the generally understood column for the class skill bonus. You can move the +3 out of Misc to that spot for clarity.
* Racial Features: You seemingly forgot to add Skilled and Bonus Feat to this section
* I like explicitly noting the encumberance level ("Medium Encumberance") that results from what you are carrying, but it's not required.
* Maintaining coin types in finances is rather difficult to do clearly and without mistakes. The 10 gold you used to 'make change' from your silver and copper expenditures virtually disappears, even if the final result is correct. I recommend using fractional accounting when totaling columns. (I get 139.12 gp spent including the sling bullet expenditure noted above.)
Comments:
* I'm a fan of classic-style characters, which Doren seems to fit.
* The high-AC paladin using lay on hands to keep himself going (as a free action) seems to be a rather viable character type.
In short, NOT YET, there are a number of mechanical issues that need to be resolved. However, it's all fixable.
G
Guest 11456
Guest
Reviewing Hawk
Welcome to LPF, Tailspinner. I'll be doing a non-judge review for you, which means you'll need one judge review to get your final approval. I don't directly fix your character sheet, with exception of obvious typos. And every now and then I'm just wrong on an issue; feel free to state your case if need be. Onward!
Stuff That Needs Fixin':
* Exactly what weapon and armor it is, under Equipment, doesn't seem to be stated outright. I assume Great Sword (from weapon section) and Chain Shirt (from general stats), but you'll want to clarify that.
I will clarify.
Stuff That Could be Changed:
* You get one free regional language, such as High Landellian. BTW, 'common' is Low Landellian, so you already have that.
But what if your regional language is Common?
* Unless you're really after the Acrobatics roll, I recommend Fleet of Foot over Sure Footed for halflings. And I think a 40' move halfling is funny.
Thanx for the suggestion but that is part of her character design.
Notation Issues and Typos:
* The adjustment for WIS was stated at -1, even though everything else indicates +0 to be correct. Fixed.
Thanx.
* You'll want to note the nature of misc modifiers, like from size, instead of leaving it 'misc'. This happens in Combat Stats, Weapon Stats and Skills.
I will update.
* The mechanics for the Rage Class Feature seems missing.
I will add.
* I'd personally include the stat modifiers even for skills that cannot be used untrained, particularly since they can be conditionally used untrained, such as some Knowledge skills. Wholly deleting such skills is also alright; at least you'll have no erroneous information on the character sheet in such a situation.
I will update.
* Not that it matters that much, but feel free to state the unrounded weight of your armor at 12.5 pounds. It will let you carry more, later on. There are many items on the equipment list that are fractionally accounted already, so this is not out of line.
I will update.
* Similarly, it's worth fractionally accounting breakpoints in carrying capacity: 43.5 / 87 / 131.25
I will update.
Comments:
* Nothing like a good, simple, name for people to remember you by. I am a protagonist of that school of thought.
* Halflings. Everyone loves halflings. Strangely, I don't play one, though.
* This said, being a Halfling is really costing you. Not only all the traditional ways, but you are getting one of your stat bonuses in a dump stat and a penalty in a primary stat. The same array can be purchased on a human, half elf or half orc for 18 points. This isn't saying 'don't be a halfling', but, at lest, 'make sure it's what you really want.'
It is the way I designed her. I sometimes like to play the odd character that breaks the mold instead of maxing out things.
* Clothing, armor, weapon. Done shopping, zero change.
* Your background infers a significant and rather recent event in Venza. Not that such a thing is out of line in a living world built up by many people, but it's worth noting. Ask a judge if anything special is to be done in this case.
* Roleplayers, as a group, are hard on parents in backgrounds. I blame Bambi.
OK, NOT YET, just a little stuff I'd like to see and a number of things to consider, and we'll get you approved.
Replies above.
Aura
Explorer
Regarding Hawk:
The regional language is a bonus for you whether you take it in your own region or another. In any case, it is open to you if you wish to take advantage of it.
As for any suggestions, you don't have to worry, they are merely suggestions to make sure you are aware of your options. If you like the way you did things, so much the better.
The regional language is a bonus for you whether you take it in your own region or another. In any case, it is open to you if you wish to take advantage of it.
As for any suggestions, you don't have to worry, they are merely suggestions to make sure you are aware of your options. If you like the way you did things, so much the better.
Systole
First Post
To clarify the language issue, you get Common/Low Landellian if you're from Venza or the environs. You get Common/Low Landellian plus your regional if you're fro somewhere else. We threw that in so as to provide a (very very small) incentive to come from somewhere else and thereby help develop the world.
Aura
Explorer
I'm not getting that distinction from the wiki description, so it may need to be clarified. I admit I hadn't heard it said this way before and was going from the wiki text.
Sorry for any confusion.
Systole
First Post
Ack, well ... your reading of the wiki is correct, but I'm 95% sure the wiki is incorrect, because I recall asking that question in the original discussion, and that the consensus was that Venzans don't get a regional bonus. I'll wait for other judges to confirm/deny before fixing.
