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lowkey13
Guest
*Deleted by user*
Child abuse in regards to Dungeons and Dragons IRL, how should such things be handled.
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Yes.
You remember Robin Williams in Dead Poet's Society? Don't be that guy. No matter how much Hollywood valorises him. Thanks to him, there was a boy dead at the end of the film. Don't be that guy.
jasper
Rotten DM
The kid has told you he can't play with your group. The parents made it clear their kids can not play with your group. So ban the kids from your table. And not even close to child abuse.
My rules, which I tell parent(s) who drop off kids, is the kids must maintain a C average to play at my table.
edit to add
This comes about from two incidents long ago. 1. Had a neighborhood kid who was dropping in to all our games. Parents said he had to maintain a B average. He got so involved with playing with us and creating pcs his gpa dropped to D but he changed his report card for 2 six weeks. Glad I was not the home owner when they came calling. 2. Fellow college student GPA when down 1 when they started playing. We started asking did he do his work before playing before deciding they were an adult.
My rules, which I tell parent(s) who drop off kids, is the kids must maintain a C average to play at my table.
edit to add
This comes about from two incidents long ago. 1. Had a neighborhood kid who was dropping in to all our games. Parents said he had to maintain a B average. He got so involved with playing with us and creating pcs his gpa dropped to D but he changed his report card for 2 six weeks. Glad I was not the home owner when they came calling. 2. Fellow college student GPA when down 1 when they started playing. We started asking did he do his work before playing before deciding they were an adult.
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Sounds fair.
My point was to speak to an attorney as a defense, not gunning ip.
These adults have gotten involved inbetween parents and children and a subject of content is involved. They describe the parents in rather serious ways. Before talking or interacting further I would touch base with an attorney and likely get told "stay out of it".
Flexor the Mighty!
18/100 Strength!
I hope you don't inflict the nightmare that is being investigated by Child Protective Services on that family over them not wanting the kid to play D&D. You could well destroy that family by doing that.
GreyLord
Legend
As a filler in so people know what was done at the time...
None of us did anything at the time. We were more stunned than anything else. This WAS a PUBLIC venue...anyone can come play in the game, watch, or not.
The language the parents used and tossed at us and others could be considered abusive, and even towards adults would probably be considered harassment and enough for charges in and of themselves.
That they used this towards their children is concerning. That said, we did not do anything. We were more stunned than anything else.
The kid had come because he did not want to suddenly disappear for no reason I suppose. He wanted a chance to explain (more to the other people at the table than I) about him not being able to come anymore.
It was afterwards I started to get a tad angry at what occurred, as well as thinking these things may actually be abuse. We tend to try to forgive our parents of a LOT of things, but looking at things if done to us as adults...and what would be crimes against us starts to seep in.
If I had saved for months (let's see, this kid got some allowance, at $5 a week, just for the PHB we are talking around 2 and half months, plus another few weeks for the other books, we are looking at 4-5 months worth, he personally saved for that and spent HIS money he had saved) for something and then someone TOOK that item from me and destroyed it....I'd call that theft and destruction of property. As an adult with my monthly money that would be far greater than a felony or Grand Theft.
Not giving any recompense, and then suddenly cutting me off from my friends...not a crime per se...depending on how it was accomplished.
That said, I've done nothing, but I know people here have gone through things like this. Looking back it really did seem abusive to me. If I had parents yelling at me, destroying my stuff, and threatening to kick me or my relatives out of their homes...it just felt like abuse to me. I don't know if you've ever had that feeling when someone is around of something going on...looking back on it I got that feeling. Like something just isn't right.
If they were willing to act like this in public towards their children, it also raises the idea...where there's smoke...in many cases there is fire.
The type of abuse it would seem to be is not the physical type, but what people call Emotional Abuse.
from signs of child abuse
That said, I have done nothing on this currently. Except for our stunned silence at what we were seeing and watching, none of the group have done anything. We didn't know these kids except for when they came to our group and gamed on Sundays.
We've never had anything like this happen before in this group. However, I haven't called CPS or taken any other actions so no one in the thread has to worry that I've gone that far as of this posting. I didn't quite know how to react at the time, though looking back at it now, with how aggressive the parents were part of me wished I had simply gotten up and punched them to let them know I wasn't a child and if they WANTED a Fight, I'd give them the fight that they seemed to so want by egging us on. Even without the child there, there's a certain type of behavior you have towards others in public, and egging them on to a fight is normally not one of them. Then again, with children, youth, and others present I probably still wouldn't as that would be an inappropriate example for them. Part of me wished I had done that though.
As I said, we didn't do anything. We didn't even really speak. We were just stunned and sat there watching it and listening. I still haven't taken any actions over it.
The incident DOES highly bother me though. Perhaps I am wrong, but it really sounded and feels like abuse to me. How can a parent simply take something someone has worked that hard for for months, destroy it for no good reason without returning any money or recompense of any kind, isolate them from some friends, and we call it good?
Maybe I am oversensitive on this stuff and my exposure to this has been light. If this is the light stuff, I imagine heavier stuff would just enrage me.
None of us did anything at the time. We were more stunned than anything else. This WAS a PUBLIC venue...anyone can come play in the game, watch, or not.
The language the parents used and tossed at us and others could be considered abusive, and even towards adults would probably be considered harassment and enough for charges in and of themselves.
That they used this towards their children is concerning. That said, we did not do anything. We were more stunned than anything else.
The kid had come because he did not want to suddenly disappear for no reason I suppose. He wanted a chance to explain (more to the other people at the table than I) about him not being able to come anymore.
It was afterwards I started to get a tad angry at what occurred, as well as thinking these things may actually be abuse. We tend to try to forgive our parents of a LOT of things, but looking at things if done to us as adults...and what would be crimes against us starts to seep in.
If I had saved for months (let's see, this kid got some allowance, at $5 a week, just for the PHB we are talking around 2 and half months, plus another few weeks for the other books, we are looking at 4-5 months worth, he personally saved for that and spent HIS money he had saved) for something and then someone TOOK that item from me and destroyed it....I'd call that theft and destruction of property. As an adult with my monthly money that would be far greater than a felony or Grand Theft.
Not giving any recompense, and then suddenly cutting me off from my friends...not a crime per se...depending on how it was accomplished.
That said, I've done nothing, but I know people here have gone through things like this. Looking back it really did seem abusive to me. If I had parents yelling at me, destroying my stuff, and threatening to kick me or my relatives out of their homes...it just felt like abuse to me. I don't know if you've ever had that feeling when someone is around of something going on...looking back on it I got that feeling. Like something just isn't right.
If they were willing to act like this in public towards their children, it also raises the idea...where there's smoke...in many cases there is fire.
The type of abuse it would seem to be is not the physical type, but what people call Emotional Abuse.
from signs of child abuse
That said, I have done nothing on this currently. Except for our stunned silence at what we were seeing and watching, none of the group have done anything. We didn't know these kids except for when they came to our group and gamed on Sundays.
We've never had anything like this happen before in this group. However, I haven't called CPS or taken any other actions so no one in the thread has to worry that I've gone that far as of this posting. I didn't quite know how to react at the time, though looking back at it now, with how aggressive the parents were part of me wished I had simply gotten up and punched them to let them know I wasn't a child and if they WANTED a Fight, I'd give them the fight that they seemed to so want by egging us on. Even without the child there, there's a certain type of behavior you have towards others in public, and egging them on to a fight is normally not one of them. Then again, with children, youth, and others present I probably still wouldn't as that would be an inappropriate example for them. Part of me wished I had done that though.
As I said, we didn't do anything. We didn't even really speak. We were just stunned and sat there watching it and listening. I still haven't taken any actions over it.
The incident DOES highly bother me though. Perhaps I am wrong, but it really sounded and feels like abuse to me. How can a parent simply take something someone has worked that hard for for months, destroy it for no good reason without returning any money or recompense of any kind, isolate them from some friends, and we call it good?
Maybe I am oversensitive on this stuff and my exposure to this has been light. If this is the light stuff, I imagine heavier stuff would just enrage me.
Parmandur
Book-Friend
Yeah, emotional abuse can be way, way worse than what little you are describing. As stated by others here, 12 year olds do not have property rights, legally the parents destroyed their own property. And chastising people viewed as threats to their children might be kooky, but nothing to be done.
billd91
Not your screen monkey (he/him)
Where are people getting the idea that the property of kids is the property of the parents? Because I'm not so sure...
Do Parents Own Their Children's Property? - FindLaw
All children under the age of 18 have the same rights with respect to owning property. They cannot enter into a contract without a parent co-signing, unless they are emancipated minors. But assuming that a minor came into the possession of the item without having entered into a contract, as is...
blogs.findlaw.com
Yep. Chewing kids out in public isn't usually considered prime parenting, but it happens.
Okay, here's a thing that lots of folks on EN World don't get - you typically need repeated or extended instances, establishing a pattern, to be considered harassment. F'rex, saying one annoying thing to you here on EN World isn't harassment. Following you into several threads, and doing that same thing may be so.
Except, when they are totally not. Taking the property of an adult is theft. Taking a thing your dependent child considers their property is not. I know you probably get this, but it bears stating - the relationship between parent and child is not like the relationship between two adults - a parent has rights over their child that would not be legal to exercise over another adults without their consent.
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