RPG Evolution: When Gaming Bleeds

Monte Cook Games recently released Consent in Gaming, a sensitive topic that addresses subjects that make some players uncomfortable. Central to the understanding of why there's a debate at all involves the concept of "bleed" in role-play.

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Picture courtesy of Pixabay.​

Bleed Basics

Courtney Kraft explains bleed:
It’s a phenomenon where the emotions from a character affect the player out of the game and vice versa. Part of the joy of roleplay comes from diving into the fantasy of being something we’re not. When we play a character for a long time, it’s easy to get swept up in the highs of victorious battle and the lows of character death. When these feelings persist after the game is over, that’s when bleed occurs.
Bleed isn't inherently bad. Like actors in a movie, players sometimes draw on experiences to fuel their role-playing, consciously or subconsciously, and this bleed can happen organically. What's of concern in gaming is when bleed has detrimental consequences to the player.

Consent in Gaming explains the risks of negative bleed:
There’s nothing wrong with bleed—in fact, it’s part of the reason we play games. We want to be excited when our character is excited, to feel the loss when our characters do. However, bleed can cause negative experiences if not handled carefully. For example, maybe a character acted in a way that your character didn’t like, and it made you angry at the player too. Or maybe your character is flirting with another character, and you’re worried that it’s also making you have feelings for the player. It’s important to talk about these distinctions between characters and players early and often, before things take an unexpected turn.
There are several aspects that create bleed, and it's central to understanding why someone would need consent in a game at all. Bleed is a result of immersion, and the level of immersion dictates the social contract of how the game is played. This isn't limited to rules alone, but rests as much on the other players as it is on the subject matter.

One of the experiences that create bleed is a player's association with the game's subject matter. For some players, less realistic games (like Dungeons & Dragons) have a lower chance of the game's experiences bleeding into real life, because it's fantasy and not analogous to real life. Modern games might have the opposite effect, mirroring real life situations a player has experience with. There are plenty of players who feel otherwise of course, particularly those deeply involved in role-playing their characters for some time -- I've experienced bleed role-playing a character on a spaceship just as easily as a modern game.

The other element that can affect bleed is how the game is played. Storytelling games often encourage deeper emotional involvement from a player, while more gamist tabletop games create a situational remove from the character by their nature -- miniatures, tactical combat, and other logistics that are less about role-playing and more about tactics. Live Action Role-Playing games (LARPs) have the player physically inhabit their role and are thus provide more opportunities for bleed. Conversely, Massive Multi-Player Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) might seem like they make bleed unlikely because the player is at a computer, experiencing the game through a virtual avatar -- and yet it can still happen. Players who play a game for a long time can experience more bleed than someone who just joined a game.

Dungeons & Dragons is a particular flashpoint for discussions of bleed, because while it is a fantasy game that can easily be played with disposable characters navigating a dungeon, it can also have surprisingly emotional depth and complexity -- as many live streams of tabletop play have demonstrated.

These two factors determine the "magic circle," where the reality of the world is replaced by the structure of another reality. The magic circle is not a magic wall -- it's porous, and players can easily have discussions about what's happening in the real world, make jokes derived from popular culture their characters would never know, or even just be influenced by their real life surroundings.

The deeper a player engages in the magic circle, the more immersed that player becomes. Governing the player's social contract within the magic circle is something Nordic LARP calls this "the alibi," in which the player accepts the premise that their actions don't reflect on them but rather their character:
Rather than playing a character who is very much like you (“close to home”), deliberately make character choices that separates the character from you and provides some differentiation. If your character has a very similar job to your ideal or actual job, find a reason for your character to change jobs. If your character has a very similar personality to you, find aspects of their personality that are different from yours to play up and focus on. Or play an alternate character that is deliberately “further from home”.

Bleeding Out

Where things get sticky is when real life circumstances apply to imaginary concepts. Bleed exists within the mind of each player but is influenced by the other players. It is fungible and can be highly personal. Additionally, what constitutes bleed can be an unconscious process. This isn't necessarily a problem -- after all, the rush of playing an awesome superhero can be a positive influence for someone who doesn't feel empowered in real life -- unless the bleed touches on negative subjects that makes the player uncomfortable. These psychological triggers are a form of "bleed-in," in which the player's psychology affects the character experience. Not all bleed moments are triggers, but they can be significantly distressing for players who have suffered some form of abuse or trauma.

Consent in Gaming attempts to address these issues by using a variety of tools to define the social contract. For players who are friends, those social contracts have likely been established over years through both in- and out-of-game experiences. But for players who are new to each other, social contracts can be difficult to determine up front, and tools like x-cards can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Thanks to the increasing popularity of tabletop role-playing games, players are coming from more diverse backgrounds with a wide range of experiences. An influx of new players means those experiences will not always be compatible with established social contracts. The recent incident at the UK Gaming Expo, as reported by Darryl is an egregious example of what happens when a game master's expectations of what's appropriate for a "mature" game doesn't match the assumed social contract of players at the table.

This sort of social contract reinforcement can seem intrusive to gamers who have long-suffered from suspicion that they are out of touch with reality, or that if they play an evil character, they are evil (an allegation propagated during the Satanic Panic). This need to perform under a "cover" in their "real" life has made the entire concept of bleed and its associated risks a particularly sensitive topic of discussion.

X-cards and consent discussions may not be for everyone, but as we welcome new players with new experiences into the hobby, those tools will help us all negotiate the social contract that makes every game's magic circle a magical experience.
 

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Michael Tresca

Michael Tresca

Sorry, but if I bring this quote (above) to our weekend games and read it out I know full well it'll be met with a mix of incredulity and (probably) laughter.

PC-PC romance is every bit as much a part of the game as PC-PC rivalry - it all comes under the heading of "what would the character do".
okay, it sounds like you and your group have an agreement that intra-PC romance is okay. good for you and your group. not every group is the same, and assuming so makes no sense.

And I'd be just as appalled at a GM who smacked it down; and I'd happily start the argument that would immediately follow.
immediately may be a bit much, especially if its something like the player says their character is a known philanderer, but if the player at the receiving end of the advances looks uncomfortable and the GM does nothing that's a red flag.

if I were GM'ing I'd probably say something like "let's keep your philandering to NPCs only". if you're unaware, people will romance other player's characters as a means of hitting on that player.

Well, I suppose the X-card is technically there for the GM too; if the players veer into sketchy territory on their own.

Hmmmm...though it corrupts the intent, I wonder if I could use a similar table mechanic to shut down out-of-game chatter?
I don't see how the GM using the card is a huge issue, some players veer into weird territory themselves.

also those mechanics already exist. a lot of them. most of them are passive aggressive.

I was the GM; and I didn't feel like kicking the puppy any more than anyone else did. The person also had problems out-of-game and that was a morass into which I really didn't want to tread.

Heh - ironically enough, given the other trend of this discussion, my own experience with this came through having my PC try to start a PC-PC romance (straight in-character - my PC was female - but two male players at the table); it brought out some real under-the-surface anti-gay sentiments from the other player, thus painting a target which I was all too happy to keep on shootin' at. :)
having a serious conversation isn't "kicking the puppy", it's dealing with the problem in a controlled manner.

what's not in a serious and controlled manner is sexually harassing a character in game. you could talk to the GM and have them talk to the other player if it's actually a problem.

That's just it, though - unless you explain your reasons for hitting the X, the other players have no way of knowing what the borders are: you've effectively just chilled all PC-PC romance in that game as the other players (assuming a modicum of sensitivity) aren't going to want to risk offending you.
if the person getting hit on taps the x-button then just don't hit on that player's character? I don't understand how this "chills all PC-PC romance" unless they tap it when romantic interaction happens between other characters, and even then I'd probably imagine said advances seemed coercive or invasive.

I-as-DM would welcome you, though with a serious warning that your lack of desire for your PCs to be romantically involved is likely to lead to some rather merciless treatment at the hands of some of the other players to whom such an attitude just doesn't make sense...and then ask you if you still want to join. :)

Not sure how you can say this - it's like saying a fight between two hockey players has nothing to do with the referee. Anything that happens in the campaign affects the campaign in some way, even if those events are entirely player-driven.

You keep coming back to the idea of later conversations...but what's that going to lead to other than at the next session - or in an email during the week - the DM having to state to the table "Your characters are banned from romantic involvement with Creon (Hussar's PC)". Other PC-PC romances remain in play."
okay if I can be honest it just sounds like you're somehow not okay with confronting issues between players, or believe that doing so is going to ruin the game. having a discussion with all the players that someone doesn't want their own character being romanced by other players should be okay? all the players being cool with that should also be okay? like do the players only value each other's characters as a means to carry out romantic fantasies or something?

And an even worse situation arises when (hypothetically) a player taps X regarding romance with player A's character but does not tap vs romance with player B's character...yeah, I wouldn't want to have to referee that.
this is worse, but why wouldn't you want to referee that? maybe that player is uncomfortable with player A, but not player B. maybe they have a history that you don't know about. or maybe player B makes advances that are way less creepy. this isn't "X player only finds player B attractive and that's awkward" like it seems you're suggesting.

but that's all in the context of a public game, if you're just playing with an established group you have the luxury of being able to talk to the player about their issues and figure something out. the x-card is not as useful a tool in this environment as you literally have the time to have a discussion with players.

But isn't the entire topic of "Bleed" about the difficulty players have emotionally separating fiction from reality, and isn't that why it was connected (unfortunately in my opinion) to the topic of "consent" in the first place?

Did you understand what this topic was about? I'm not making it sound like people can't differentiate reality from fiction. The people advocating for the X card are suggesting that one of the primary reasons for it is an inability to separate reality from fiction. Isn't that what the whole phobia argument is about?
I don't think separating fiction from reality is the issue here. I'm not sure you understand the concept of empathy?

like say my mother died and it was traumatic for me, and it took me a long time to figure that out. a year later my friend says their mother died and suddenly I feel the same way when my own mother died. is it because I think her mother was my own? no, it's because it reminded me of the time my own mother died. if I'm in a game where I'm pretending to be someone else and a mother dies I might feel the same way. this isn't being unable to separate reality from fiction, that's just how emotions work.

this has been the case since RPGs have existed. I knew one couple who said their characters got into an argument in game and they carried that spat out into real life for the following day. it's not because they thought they were actually their characters, it's because that emotion carried on after the game ended.

it goes both ways too, people enjoy beating the bad guy at the end of the adventure because it reminds them of previous times where they overcame a challenge, not because they actually believe they're a sword-wielding warrior in a fantasy world, lest we say that Mazes and Monsters is an accurate portrayal of D&D.
 

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Emotional diffusion is fine. Nice clinical word. I'm OK with emotional spillover as well, which is actually how she more or less defined "bleed". But I don't see a point in coining a term for something that is better described as "emotional spillover". There isn't a good reason for that sort of short hand.

And personal preference, if the definition runs to an essay, then I prefer you strict neologism over repurposing words, since your repurposed words will encourage the reader to try to understand your jargon without referencing your technical definition, which will invariably lead to "common sense" definitions at odds with your intended meaning.

I am aware that the intended metaphor is with an ink or dye that blends into an adjacent area. But when you take that metaphor and say is something happening to a person, then that person bleeds. And I don't think the idea of a person bleeding, or experiencing bleeding is nice and clinical. It's a powerful metaphor, but maybe really too powerful. And it is negative. Bleeding doesn't sound on the surface like something you want to do, and if the author intends to say that bleeding isn't always negative - which she does - then I think "bleed" is a poor choice of academic jargon.

I rather like the term bleed, in no small part because it is emotional. It's messy. It's unintentional. I doubt you're going to get agreement on "nice and clinical".
 


To be honest, I'm a little bit inclined to like the ? card, except that the last thing my table needs is a bunch of clutter sitting in the middle of the table where I might like a battle map. Still, my current table isn't sophisticated enough to need a ? card, and my old tables that could have used it were pretty good at sense motive checks and working out the issues it was trying to address through cues, verbal and otherwise. (For the record, the ? card asks whether apparent distress is IC or OOC, that is, are you just acting?)

I guess I can say I get what issue(s) that the 'cards' are trying to address, but I consider them ultimately counter productive in a lot of ways. To the extent that they facilitate communication, and especially healthy communication, I'm all for whatever it is. I just don't think that they do, and suspect that they are going to end up being more tools of coersion and non-communication. The agenda is stated as safety, but the argument made on their behalf is that given that you've put this safety object out on the table, that people then feel more free to push boundaries that they might have refrained from pushing, because everyone knows that there is an X card. Which is such a bad argument that I'd laugh if it wasn't so earnest and serious.

I can see a LARP developing hand signs for coming in and out of character, although again thinking about that I'm still not sure a verbal cue like, "OOC" or "IC", wouldn't just serve the same purpose.

I mean seriously, it's ultimately a verbal form of interaction. Talk. Communicate. Empathize. Share.
 

I rather like the term bleed, in no small part because it is emotional. It's messy. It's unintentional. I doubt you're going to get agreement on "nice and clinical".

Because we get so much agreement through appeals to emotion? Because appeals like, "Use the X card, it's what a progressive would do!" are so helpful to the community, and don't muck up the message?

If we aren't going to get agreement to discuss these issues in a neutral and clinical manner, then we aren't going to get agreement to discuss them. They are going to be emotional enough as it without using (wait for it) trigger words.
 

"Use the X card, it's what a progressive would do!"
where did anyone say this?

If we aren't going to get agreement to discuss these issues in a neutral and clinical manner, then we aren't going to get agreement to discuss them. They are going to be emotional enough as it without using (wait for it) trigger words.
uh, you're the one hung up on the term "bleed"? if it honestly makes you uncomfortable okay, but so far most of what you've said makes me believe that this concern is insincere. that or you don't believe in other people's problems.
 

I've tried hard to stop using them myself after realizing that they almost always harmed clarity rather than aided it.



Speaking of analogies I'm not fond of, can we not call it "bleeding"?

ROTFLMAO. Wow, talk about irony.

Using a word in it's dictionary definition is now metaphor? Sorry, but, "to bleed" as in to spread outside of a certain area, is the actual definition of the word "bleed". It's not metaphor.

But, I have a pretty strong feeling that you know that, but, instead of actually discussing the issue, you'd rather simply derail into semantic babble in order to not actually have to defend your point, all the while pretending to "help" the discussion. It's pretty much the same as the "sea lions" discussion. Everyone understands the point. The point is 100% clear. But, instead of moving on with the point that everyone understands, we'll spend pages on pedantic minutia examining the comic.

Standard.
 

I posted my opinions in the other thread from last week or so. Not gonna repeat it all again here. Let's just say that while I'm generally supportive of the idea behind this, I can't get past the red flags of someone who is not a professional therapist telling others how they should engage in therapy for someone else at the table. I don't think that's gonna end well in a lot of groups.
 

ROTFLMAO. Wow, talk about irony.

Using a word in it's dictionary definition is now metaphor? Sorry, but, "to bleed" as in to spread outside of a certain area, is the actual definition of the word "bleed". It's not metaphor.

But, I have a pretty strong feeling that you know that, but, instead of actually discussing the issue, you'd rather simply derail into semantic babble in order to not actually have to defend your point, all the while pretending to "help" the discussion. It's pretty much the same as the "sea lions" discussion. Everyone understands the point. The point is 100% clear. But, instead of moving on with the point that everyone understands, we'll spend pages on pedantic minutia examining the comic.

Standard.
as someone whose educational background is linguistics I want to argue about metaphorical language, but well you're not wrong
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Perhaps. How would you know?

The arguments I see against is seem to be of the forms: 1) "this infringes on MY freedom", 2) theorycraft from people who are not mental health professionals, making claims about what works or doesn't for people who have issues, or 3) people who outright don't want to have to deal with the fact that there are folks in our world who are injured or have problems. While those opinons are interesting, I should hardly take them as conclusive on whether this tool works better than how these thigns were handled (or not handled) in the past.

Meanwhile, the folks who actually have trauma or phobias or similar issues, or folks who run/play games with them, seem to like the thing. They note that it is no panacea, but see it as helpful.

We can think of this as a bit of assistive technology. Like, say, a wheelchair - if you don't use a wheelchair, don't assist someone who is in a wheelchair, and don't have the skills to design or build wheelchairs... how much should anyone listen to your opinion on wheelchairs?

Especially, if your basic argument is "I shouldn't see handicapped parking in lots I park in, because those are spaces I could have used," well, your opinon's probably right out, isn't it?

Again I see the angle that you guys are coming from but there is a point where assistant technology is either excessive or simply not effective enough. Could you provide me quotes where people are suggesting they simply just don't want to be dealing with people with phobias and disabilities? I have not read the whole thread and from what I did see nothing implied that.
 

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