D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

[jasper]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

DUDE. Unless you are married, you don't have to accept bad behavior from friends. In Fact, if they showing this much bad behavior, they are not your friend.

 

[jasper]

I use a broom and repeat "Shoo!" loudly and repeatedly. Usually works.

Your BEEPING BRoom. I have straw down my back now!

 

[Oofta]

Your BEEPING BRoom. I have straw down my back now!

SHOO! SHOO I SAID!!!

 

[jasper]

SHOO! SHOO I SAID!!!

going going. Hey you could at least clean the used kitty leader off before you use it.

 

[The Green Hermit]

Yeah. And be ready for what he wants. Sometimes a person just wants to be around and a part of things but doesn’t like the activity.

D&D really wants participants if the have a character. No shame being just a spectator.

my pal used to watch us play shooters but be hesitant to play himself

Plus, if you chose this route, he could help run some of the NPCs in combat if he really wanted to do something every once in a while.

 

[Warpiglet-7]

Plus, if you chose this route, he could help run some of the NPCs in combat if he really wanted to do something every once in a while.

My thought is this: friends and D&D don’t always have perfect overlap. And neither does a need to feel included. If the player in question botches his play of 1/4 of the party, it can ruin it for others.

the person participating in some way without disrupting things is not a big deal.

player playing wizard who does not think a turn ahead about spell selection and then makes haphazard choices can be less than fun for the group.

...or someone not paying attention to the situation really hurts any immersion but we can still value their friendship!

I had a buddy that did not like to play but instead listened while we did, painted miniatures and drank margaritas.

 

[Stormonu]

They don't have any socialising issues. They do enjoy D&D, but they would rather do other things. They have tried to convince other players to stop playing D&D and do other things until OotA starts. We have a small One-Shot going while I wait for the book to arrive. I think I will ask if they actually want to play D&D, and if they do I will speak to them about what their goal is. I will also try to show them how to roleplay. Would this be a good idea?

This is the point where that person would be ejected from the table. If they don't want to play, hey, that's fine maybe they're not a great fit for our game.

They start trying to get others at my table to stop playing? No, not acceptable. Hard enough to get together for a game in the first place in this day and age.

 

[jgsugden]

I'd have the following conversations with the player before you begin the campaign.

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much.
1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.

In the past, you've had trouble accepting DM rulings during a session. During the game, whatever a DM rules needs to be respected. We can have a conversation after the game about the ruling, but during the game, it is too disruptive to stop the game to argue about a ruling.

2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.

We've also talked about the importance of role playing. We want this to be more than a strategy game. We want to have everyone play the role they decided to play. We've tried to provide some resources to help clarify what we mean. Role playing is an essential element in this campaign, and we want to make sure you're on board to participate.

3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.

We're instituting a "no non-D&D electronics at the table" rule for this campaign. No web browsing, games or emails. We understand if you get a text and need to send a quick reply, or if you get a call and need to step away from the table to take it. However, beyond that, and using online character sheets, etc... there will be no electronics.

4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.

We've also notices some trends of you stepping on the toes of other people while they are role playing. This has made the game less fun for other players. We're looking for more respect for other players during the campaign.

5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.

We want everyone at the table to have fun. It should be all of us trying to make sure all of us have fun.

If you're going to participate in the campaign, we need to be on the same page. To recap: There will be no arguing with the DM, we expect each player to be role playing a character, there will be no non-D&D electronics used at the table, and everyone will be working together to make sure everyone has fun. Are these expectations you can meet? If so, we want you at the table. If not, then we're going to have you sit out this campaign.

 

[Technoloid]

This is the point where that person would be ejected from the table. If they don't want to play, hey, that's fine maybe they're not a great fit for our game.

They start trying to get others at my table to stop playing? No, not acceptable. Hard enough to get together for a game in the first place in this day and age.

Kind of a damned if you do damned if you dont situation. we have a hell of a time trying to A. get people to commit to playing and B. getting them to actually play instead of screwing off and getting drunk.

In a perfect world i'd say kick the dude out but this guy is obviously a friend and you know how that goes... kinda just gotta live with it.....or wait until hes distracted by his phone to kill him with a falling boulder.....or the classic falling baby grand piano.... "increasingly loud whistling sound" and.... SPLAT!

 

[Mort]

...In a perfect world i'd say kick the dude out but this guy is obviously a friend and you know how that goes... kinda just gotta live with it.....

You really don't,

Not everyone likes gaming. You can do different things with different friends.

More importantly, if this person makes the game worse for the other players, you owe it to them to NOT include this person.

No one has the right to have fun at the expense of the other people at the table.

or wait until hes distracted by his phone to kill him with a falling boulder.....or the classic falling baby grand piano.... "increasingly loud whistling sound" and.... SPLAT!

So kill the PLAYER with a rock, well ok then!

If you're advocating killing the character of the player - don't try to solve out of game problems with in game solutions, it doesn't work and will just cause more problems.