Once more for the cheap seats:
A cleric who refuses to heal in favor of combat spells is not playing the game properly, just as a cleric who refuses to use combat spells in favor of healing is not playing the game properly. A wizard who refuses to use utility spells in favor of direct damage is not playing the game properly, and neither is a wizard who uses utility spells exclusively to the exclusion of direct damage spells.
Based on what part of the rules are any of these "not playing the game properly"? Can you point to anything that would even imply this is true?
There's nothing wrong with roleplaying a preference, but if the party needs a PC to do something only their class can do and they refuse on principle, the refusing PC is the bad guy. That's called putting your fun before the group's fun, and it is discouraged. This is a game, not open mic night.
the term "need" is important here. In 8 years of playing 5E I can not think of a single time as a player or DM that a party "needed" a cleric to heal someone and well over half of those parties did not even have a Cleric.
Yes. It absolutely is the same. And a properly played D&D character accepts that there may be cases where any one of these four spells in the set associated with their class may be useful and necessary.
To the exclusion of spells within his or her school? Are you really saying I can play at a table with you playing an Evocation Wizard and expect that you never take an evocation spell?
The reality that you are doubling down on not acknowledging is that the wizard has to make a major portion of this decision about moment-to-moment functionality based on campaign design and guesswork at level-up, or seek out a source during play or downtime from which they can learn a new spell independently of leveling, neither of which permits them much flexibility in preparation.
But why the Cleric? Any character can get healing through a feat. If players are expected to heal then this should not be unique to the cleric simply because healing spells are on her list.
If it is "necessary"
All the cleric has to do is wake up, scratch their ass, and decide to pick a different spell.
All the Wizard has to do is take the right feat at level 4 and then he never even needs to prepare a spell! He does not even have to use a slot to prepare it!
Certainly if the class I choose at level 1 dictates that I engage in healing then we should expect players to take a feat at level 4 (or at level 1) to be able to heal some, since it is required.
This is especially true if the party does not have a Cleric, since healing is necessary and all!
Okay, I'll bite.
What is playing a cleric who refuses to heal but telling or expecting the other players in the campaign to play in a way that does not require healing?
But why the Cleric? Any character can get healing through a feat. If players are expected to heal then this should not be unique to the cleric simply because healing spells are on her list.
If the campaign "requires" healing spells (and I have never seen such a campaign), then it is appropriate to expect every casting class to take feats enabling healing.
As a point of fact a Wizard can get Cure Wounds. What is playing a Wizard who refuses to heal but telling other players in the campaign to play in a way that does not require healing?
Does expecting all players to contribute not require encouraging individual players to contribute those resources only their character can provide?
Every Character can get healing spells and Wizards and Sorcerers get more slots to spend on those than Clerics do.
If expecting a single player to contribute in a particular fashion is selfish and unreasonable, what then is expecting the remainder of the players at the table to adjust their contributions in a way that suits the single player?
Yes, absolutely it is VERY selfish. If you feel a certain particular type of contribution is required then YOU should build YOUR character to meet that requirement.
If
YOU feel healing is necessary for the party to get by then
YOU should build a character that can heal - A Cleric or a Wizard with feats or whatever. If
YOU don't build a character that can heal and
YOU think healing is necessary then
YOU are the one to blame for there being no healing.
I will build a character to contribute in the ways I feel are necessary and as long as I am contributing in some fashion, it should be ok with you.