What etiquette rules do we assume is common in the community?

[Jd Smith1]

I only game online now, and only played in private residences for the twenty years before that.

Back in the F2F days:
1) No smoking, no booze, be properly bathed. Pants are required. Use air freshener when flatulent.
2) Physical violence only when sanctioned by the GM.

F2F and online:
3) Be on time and prepared.
4) Share the spotlight.
5) GM rulings are final.
6) BSing off-topic at the table is forbidden. There's a place on the Discord site for that.

Online only
7) Mute when you eat or drink.

I really haven't had much trouble enforcing these rules because I have always used a very stringent vetting process to weed out undesirables. Getting the right sort of player if a key function of the GM's job. Its all part of management of expectations.

 

[billd91]

We've always had a smoke outside policy, whether cigarettes, pipes, or weed.
Obey the site host's rules (shoes off, food rules, don't feed scraps to the dog, etc).

A few other rules I've had to enforce like not making decisions for someone else - this comes up with parents and younger kids.
We have also had to be careful about peanut foods like pad thai because we do have a kid near the group with a significant peanut allergy, but now that's she's halfway through high school, she's better at self-policing peanut exposure.

 

[MGibster]

Practice decent hygiene.

It's been a long, long time since I've run into cat piss man at any gaming related event. Holy cow, it's been twenty years. The last time I ran into cat piss man was at Roc*Kon here in Little Rock in 2003. This dude showed up on the first day of the convention just a absolutely reeking to high heavan. And I'm not talking about a little body odor, I'm talking about an unholy stench that one would typically have to work at to get. (Maybe he had a medical problem?)

For our younger members, there was a time when you would expect to run into the same dude at a gaming event who always stank. Often times his name was Ogre or something like that. For whatever reason, those people have few and far between these days. If I go to an event at my FLGS these days, I don't run into anyone named Ogre. I'd love to know what changed to make this happen, but I haven't got a clue.

 

[MGibster]

Don't eat fish, shrimp, or peanuts at games in store. (Quite capable of triggering airborne allergies).

My store sells peanuts!

NO overt sex acts described in-game. None. Period. Never.

That's why I didn't ask you out on a second date. In broader terms, in a public venue, be aware that there are people within earshot who are not participating in the game and take them into account.

 

[Faolyn]

One rule of etiquette that I enforce at my table is no politics. I find that this is very much not the norm, but I also have noticed that the tables where this is tolerated and doesn't cause issue is because the group is very similar in their political and religious believes and the comments are generally quick asides. I ban it not just to avoid arguments. In my experience, political discussion can easily go into a long tangent that eats away at game time. Even when people are in agreement, it can lead to 20 minutes or more of discussion. I don't care what the topic is or what side someone is on an issue. I may be 100% in agreement with them. But I have one time a month I can run my game and I get enough politics in my life. I don't think it is too much to ask people to just shut up about politics for a few hours once a month. I'll not reinvite people to my game over this. Which is probably a bit harsh compared to the norm and can be a shock to new or guest players once they realize that I'm serious about it.

We actually have something like this at our table, and we all align politically. That's because we live in the DC Metro Area and have to deal with politics all the time because of that, and one of our members is a government contractor, meaning most of the time, politics is too depressing.

 

[S'mon]

Inspired by another thread on "what homebrew rules do we assume is common in the community"

"No raping the PCs". And more broadly a general idea that other players' PCs need to be treated with a certain amount of respect, more than you'd necessarily give to an NPC.

 

[S'mon]

One rule of etiquette that I enforce at my table is no politics.

I haven't experienced this as a problem with in-person play here in London, I think because 'no politics at the table' is already culturally ingrained, but playing online with US players it does sometimes become necessary to tell them to stop it with the anti-Trump rants etc.

 

[GuyBoy]

Treat each other with respect. Not really a problem in our group as we’ve gamed together a long time and are close friends.
Nothing overtly sexual and absolutely no sexual violence. Fade to grey is just assumed.
None of us would tolerate racism, homophobia or any discriminatory comments
Politics is not common, but we are all pretty progressive in outlook anyway.

Beyond these areas, we all bring snacks etc to share, and our (awesome) host always knocks up some jacket potatoes or similar.
We also don’t play our regular games if someone can’t make a session, but have a backup game instead, currently me running KotB.
We have fun.

 

[Li Shenron]

I could say that what I think are commonly expected etiquette rules when playing/starting a new game with strangers, are mainly a general level of politeness/respect (including not being rude, not using excessive language...), and a good spirit of playing along with the DM and the rest of the group (not criticizing other player's actions, not arguing with the DM, not overly complaining...).

If you're playing in a group with people you already know fairly well, you can all have your own relaxed etiquette rules. Maybe in some groups everyone's fine with swearing foul, and in another they really like to pick on each other's mistakes... if it works for everyone then it's fine.

 

[aramis erak]

Definitely something that would have to be stated up front. I've never been to FLGS that enforced such rules. The ban on nuts, peanut butter, etc. at my sons' elementary and middle school were quite contentious.

I have. The owner works for the fire department part time. The sign's not up anymore, but still, asking before diving in is more than just good etiquette; it can prevent medical emergencies. Epi shots are expensive.

As far as schools... while teaching, I had a class where child A had severe peanut allergy, B & C milder ones... Student D had a PB&J for breakfast... and sitting in the same tablegroup as A&C, triggered asthma in A, and made B nauseus across the aisle. A & B went to the nurse, lost half a day.

In my home game, I'm pretty precious about my books, but if players don't mind stains on theirs, that's their decision. I think this would be difficult to enforce in a convention game.

Hardly... but then again, it helps that the local convention I've gone to most has a zero outside food/drink policy. It's one I've only had to mention at AL twice, maybe thrice. "No gooey hands near my books and bits, thank-you." Worst offender was in a home game.

Man, I think I would suffer in silence rather than try to comment on this, much less enforce it.

I don't have the choice. If I can smell the perfume from double arm's length, my breathing usually is compromised within single digit minutes.
I've had to abandon dinner plans because a server was wearing a rose-oil based perfume and no other server was available. Wheezing is unhelpful to both dining and GMing.
I've seen convention staff refuse entry to someone who was heavily perfumed. As in, sufficiently perfumed as to be smelled through masks at 10'. I have, occasionally, noted my perfume allergies on the blurb.
Doesn't hurt that I live near the left coast.

Do you allow smoke breaks?

Not at convention games. At games at store... given the 18:00 start and 22:00 end, it was not uncommon to have a roughly 20:00 centered 5-10 min break. No one currently playing in my store game has a nicotine addiction.