I guess I'd wonder what they are getting out of participating in an activity with rules they don't understand..weekly..for months.
Like, this doesn't sound very fun, unless there is something outside of the rules that is important/fun to them (e.g. spending time with other people, or group storytelling).
I can explain then.
90% of the time when this happens, we're all friends beforehand. So, people we know and enjoy hanging out with and do other things with. Either we ask them to join or they want to try and ask the group, either way we give them a chance.
Initially, things are good. The new players are fine, seem to be learning, participating, etc. However, in these rare cases, it becomes apparent over time that as much as they enjoy playing, their lack of improvement as players (so to say) begins to frustrate the rest of the group. Things that, by that point, should be understood without asking for help or constantly having to look up information during their turn (allowing for any disabilities, of course, just so
that is understood!). Looking up a rarely used feature or spell is one thing, but forgetting to include your proficiency bonus to an attack or a save in which your PC is proficient, etc. simply drags things out.
For most of us, even when we play weekly, game time is precious, and waiting for a player whose been playing for months to remember basic and common aspects of the game is not only frustrating, but disrespectful to the other people in the group. It's not just about
their fun, but all of ours.
Fortunately, most of the time such players are happy to fallback to other roles in the game if they want to continue (such as playing a sidekick or NPC) or simply hang out and enjoy watching and spending time with everyone. Some pay more attention, spend more time learning, etc. and become more productive members of the group. Very rarely, the players stops coming entirely. If they were friends before, they remain so of course and we still do other things with them, but D&D isn't one of them. They are always welcome, of course, but that decision is theirs.
After all, they might be people who would be happier with a much lighter rules system that only demanded limited engagement--but if that's not the game being played, well...
And this is one of the great things about RPGs! We don't always play D&D, so when we play a different system, such as Vampire, we always keep the others informed and invited. Many times, those players enjoy the other game system pretty well. Vampire, more of a social game and not as "rules" heavy, is a great alternative!
Thanks, bud! I'm always happy to get a polite and reasoned welcome!
Any time.
3 (or 4) or more is the most commonly accepted definition.
However, as the "or more" part of the definition, I am using it in the range of at least a dozen, and very likely much more.
Now define it based on how long is actually reasonable to learn a new skill and retain a set of rules you aren't interactign with on a very regular basis for most people that aren't... well like us.
You seem to think these people "
aren't interactign with on a very regular basis". I suppose only you can determine what a "very regular basis" is for yourself. For me, and the people I play with, once a week (at least 3 times a month), certainly constitutes it, especially since we play for an average of 6 hours at a time (4-8 usually). Your definition probably varies, of course.
"Like us"??? I really can't say what you mean by that, since every individual is unique.
Oh, I'd love to see what fits that description here because that word has never been used as a baseless pejorative to attack wide swathes of people for not sharing the same values or priorities before.
I'm sure you would. But there is a big difference when it isn't "baseless", not "pejorative", nor an "attack".
Your choice, but unfortunately it will continue to lead to such misunderstandings as this.
Oh, this is an issue I have a lot of experience with. I know how this community is with rules and their status as a pseudo sacred text you MUST KNOW and if you take a minute to look it up in game time, you are a problem that must be insulted and shunned.
If you must take a minute to look up the same information, or have it explained to you, again and again, then IT becomes a problem. Notice I said "IT" and not "you". People are not problems, their behaviors, actions, and attitudes are. Hopefully, once identified and explained, that problem can be resolved.
And it always comes with the same language and aggression as seen here.
Right back at ya!
This is a situation you knew nothing about, made whatever assumptions you wanted to, and posted accordingly. Perhaps you've encountered similar situations, but those are not mine, they are yours.