I don't think it's a matter of "trained" by anything.
The majority of players are not interested in random, irrevocable, permanent death as a major, prominent consequence. They prefer other kinds of consequences: moral/ethical dilemmas, the gain or sacrifice of personal power/resources/tools, interpersonal relationships and their development over time, political or social stuff, etc. In large part, this is because whether those consequences are good, bad, or indifferent, the show goes on.
In many ways, the experience of D&D-like tabletop play is like getting to be one of the core characters in a character-driven, plot-heavy TV show, particularly in the vein of things like Babylon 5: while the occasional core character may die (or get Put On A Bus as TVTropes phrases it), the audience's interest is in seeing the characters...y'know...actually DO things and GO places and develop and change and, ultimately, face whatever it is that's going on. The camera isn't looking at people who live lives of quiet desperation or who die pointlessly on a random dirt road or in some forgotten fortification, because those people aren't interesting enough. We look at the ones who...don't. That doesn't mean they never experience hardship. That doesn't mean they aren't subject to some horrific things and have to deal with permanent, lasting consequences. They do! And any show that failed to do that, a show that always had nothing but bright happy awesome things happen all the time forever, would be a show that didn't make it to its first season finale.
That's what most people want out of D&D. A good drama, coupled with feeling like they've gotten something done that was worth doing. What, exactly, is "worth doing" will vary; some want it to be a worthy gameplay achievement, others (which I think would be most similar to you) want a worthy figuring-out of the world and one's place in it; others still want a worthy overcoming of moral and ethical dilemmas; etc.
You're never, ever going to get a game that sells well and reaches a lot of people by telling them that they not only can, but will be subject to story-ending, random, uncontrollable consequences. It doesn't matter that real life is full of story-ending, random, uncontrollable consequences. People don't want real life. They want drama and adventure, and if that requires dismissing significant parts of what makes real life work the way real life works, so be it.