D&D General Read aloud text in modules: What are folks opinions about read aloud content?

[MarkB]

I was looking through some old Dungeon mags for an adventure to possibly run and thought I'd snap pix of a few examples of boxed text for us to look out (with the caveat that without the context of the adventure some of these might be better or worse than how they seem by themselves).

#1 is from "A Hitch in Time" by Willie Walsh (from Dungeon #24 [July/August 1990])

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Not too bad. Certainly speaks of a frequently-trafficked location - braziers and candles don't replenish themselves, unless they're magical.

#2 is from "Threshold of Evil" by Scott Bennie (from Dungeon #10 [March/April 1988])
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Oh dear. Assuming I'm still awake by the time the DM gets to the end of that, I'll already have forgotten the first half - or will instead be fixated on making sure I grind as much dirt as possible into this guy's poncy carpet, don't tell me what I'm ashamed of.

#3, rather than a room description is boxed text meant to introduce an adventure (a way I would not introduce an adventure and have not since around the time this mag was published), from "They Also Serve. . ." by Robert Kelk (from Dungeon #10 [March/April 1988])

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That is one disorganised kingdom. Whether the king ever married or not, he and his nobles would surely have had some concept of the need for a clear succession so this sudden crisis seems forced from the start.

And why are we delivering all this exposition in narrative form? The hook is that this Jean-Pierre has summoned the party to a meeting where he's going to tell them all about it, so just have him tell them all about it in dialogue. I'd just give the players the basic information that there's some kind of succession crisis happening and someone in the royal court has contacted them, then break down the rest of that narrative into a series of bullet points of information that needs to be conveyed during the course of the conversation.

 

[Burnside]

I was looking through some old Dungeon mags for an adventure to possibly run and thought I'd snap pix of a few examples of boxed text for us to look out (with the caveat that without the context of the adventure some of these might be better or worse than how they seem by themselves).

#1 is from "A Hitch in Time" by Willie Walsh (from Dungeon #24 [July/August 1990])

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#2 is from "Threshold of Evil" by Scott Bennie (from Dungeon #10 [March/April 1988])
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#3, rather than a room description is boxed text meant to introduce an adventure (a way I would not introduce an adventure and have not since around the time this mag was published), from "They Also Serve. . ." by Robert Kelk (from Dungeon #10 [March/April 1988])

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#1 is fine, just a little long and wordy.

#2 is horrible in many ways. Just to call out a few:

- "the temperature increases to 72 degrees" is there a thermometer on the wall?

- the furniture is "lavish", "finely-carved", "in the same style" - all empty descriptors which take up time and space while revealing no detail or specificity that helps us imagine anything.

- of course, telling the players how their characters feel

#3 is obviously a disaster. A LOT of 2E adventures have wall-to-wall boxed text like this. The 2E era is fondly remembered by many, but NOT because the published adventures were good.

 

[Burnside]

By contrast, here's a couple of solid, direct, useful ones from 5E hardcovers:

The slippery tunnel opens into an upside-down room, the contents of which are coated in frost. Across from the tunnel is a wooden door that’s flush with the ceiling, which used to be the floor. The door is ajar, and flanking it are two identical stone statues that hang down like stalactites. Across from the statues are sconces with upside-down flames burning in them.

Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden, Lost Spire of Netheril area description

Sergeant Cragknuckle leads you to a bulwark hastily erected outside Little Lockford’s impressive gates. The bulwark is defended by weary-looking members of the town militia, who salute the sergeant as he limps past them.

Standing watch by the gates are two dour gnomes in black robes. On Cragknuckle’s signal, each of these gnomes casts a spell that causes the gates to swing open before you. A wave of heat washes through the bulwark as the gates part, revealing a grim town bathed in hellish light and periodically brightened by flashes of lightning.

Keys from the Golden Vault, Tockworth's Clockworks area/event description

 

[Dausuul]

I can see the point that box text is a good support for novice DMs, but if that is its primary function, then it should be modeling evocative, immersive narration. And that means keeping it short. No, shorter than that. Really short. The more adjectives and sentences you pile on, the more the players' attention wanders; the art of good writing is conjuring a whole scene with just a couple of well-chosen details.

1 - Initial Feel "The reek of old decay and mildew billows from the entrance of the crypt, with a chill that seeps into the skin"
- Room dimensions and features "The interior is a 10 x 20 chamber, its roof and walls are cracked, letting shafts of pale light spill across the rubble-strewn floor."
- Furniture and Fittings "Dust hangs in the air and bone fragments are scattered across the floor. There are maybe 7 coffins visible, two of which have toppled down and lie open, broken and empty"
- Danger Signs "there are scratches visible on one of the fallen coffins and the sound of something moving in the shadows"

I also get Aspects:
1 The chill of Decay in the air
2 Rubble-strewn floor, Unstable roof
3 Low Light, Dust and Shadows
4. Seven Coffins within (2 empty)
5 Something moving in the shadows

IMO, that's way too much scenic detail before the punch line. When there's something moving in the shadows, no adventurer is going to stand there contemplating shafts of light full of dust motes and counting the coffins. Human brains are wired to zero in on movement and noise, and for good reason. If there are signs of danger, get to the danger signs ASAP, and then cut the box text short and let the PCs deal with the imminent threat. They can count the coffins later, if they think the exact number is important, which they probably don't.

Also, concrete is better than vague. In this example, I guarantee the first thing the players are going to ask is, "What does the thing in the shadows sound like?" So, instead of waiting for them to ask (whereupon the DM has to check the monster description and figure it out on the fly), it's better to tell them what they actually hear. Claws clicking or scraping? The rasp of scales on stone? Padding footsteps? And how do you know it's in the shadows if you can't see it?

If I were doing this as box text, it would be something like:

"Dust and mildew fill your nostrils as you look into a small crypt full of coffins. Two coffins are broken open, and you hear a scrabble of claws. From the corner of your eye, you glimpse movement in the shadows; it's gone before you get a good look."

 

[Stormonu]

I was looking through some old Dungeon mags for an adventure to possibly run and thought I'd snap pix of a few examples of boxed text for us to look out (with the caveat that without the context of the adventure some of these might be better or worse than how they seem by themselves).

#1 is from "A Hitch in Time" by Willie Walsh (from Dungeon #24 [July/August 1990])

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#2 is from "Threshold of Evil" by Scott Bennie (from Dungeon #10 [March/April 1988])
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#3, rather than a room description is boxed text meant to introduce an adventure (a way I would not introduce an adventure and have not since around the time this mag was published), from "They Also Serve. . ." by Robert Kelk (from Dungeon #10 [March/April 1988])

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#1 is on the tip of being overly long.

#2 is way to wordy and has sections dictating character actions (feeling ashamed, wiping boots)

#3 is story exposition that in no way should be just be blurted out in one go. This is more information the DM should have, but it should be doled out to players in smaller chunks. Something along the lines of:

"King Alphonse is dead and the rightful heir needs to be found before civil war breaks out. The King's Chamberlain, Jean-Pierre Chevalier has summoned you to the Wandering Minstrel to request your aid. There he informs you that a patent that proves whom is the legitimate heir has been stolen by thieves in nearby Kingston, a day's ride away. He tells you that you must move quickly to break into the thieves guildhall and retrieve the stolen patent. The Chamberlain is willing to answer additional questions you may have or go into deeper detail about the situation, so long as your questions do not put the heir apparent in jeopardy."

Or better yet, just roleplay out the meeting with the boxed information being what the Chamberlain knows.

 

[Voadam]

The 2E era is fondly remembered by many, but NOT because the published adventures were good.

I found about half the 2e Ravenloft modules of excellent quality (I also found about half were terrible agency removing or genre breaking things that I did not care for or run) and had great experiences running a large number in two 2e campaigns.

I was not a Planescape person but I heard generally positive things about the modules for that 2e line as well.

I generally left Dungeon as a thing for one of my friends to be his adventure source when he DMd that none of the rest of us would be familiar with (another did all homebrew, my areas were Greyhawk and Ravenloft modules for our group that others would not get so as to leave them for me). I have heard really positive things from the 2e Dungeon area, though it would be specific adventures that really clicked.

2e had a lot of material, there was a lot of good, bad, and mediocre and different things clicked with different people. For some like me there were plenty of high point 2e modules that were a part of our like of 2e.

 

[Stormonu]

I found about half the 2e Ravenloft modules of excellent quality (I also found about half were terrible agency removing or genre breaking things that I did not care for or run) and had great experiences running a large number in two 2e campaigns.

As much as I loved the Ravenloft campaign set, after a bad interaction with the opening of From the Shadows I ran for my players, I realized that I did NOT like the way those adventures stole player agency, nor most of the boxed text sections in those adventures. I ended up never actually running any of them, other than Night of the Living Dead, and then even that one I did quite a bit of modification to. Many of those Ravenloft adventures had "good ideas", but were wrapped in terrible railroads that fought against what D&D was, to (badly) attempt to instill terror and instead just generated apathy or hate towards the adventure designer.

 

[Tonguez]

I can see the point that box text is a good support for novice DMs, but if that is its primary function, then it should be modeling evocative, immersive narration. And that means keeping it short. No, shorter than that. Really short. The more adjectives and sentences you pile on, the more the players' attention wanders; the art of good writing is conjuring a whole scene with just a couple of well-chosen details.


IMO, that's way too much scenic detail before the punch line. When there's something moving in the shadows, no adventurer is going to stand there contemplating shafts of light full of dust motes and counting the coffins. Human brains are wired to zero in on movement and noise, and for good reason. If there are signs of danger, get to the danger signs ASAP, and then cut the box text short and let the PCs deal with the imminent threat. They can count the coffins later, if they think the exact number is important, which they probably don't.

Also, concrete is better than vague. In this example, I guarantee the first thing the players are going to ask is, "What does the thing in the shadows sound like?" So, instead of waiting for them to ask (whereupon the DM has to check the monster description and figure it out on the fly), it's better to tell them what they actually hear. Claws clicking or scraping? The rasp of scales on stone? Padding footsteps? And how do you know it's in the shadows if you can't see it?

If I were doing this as box text, it would be something like:

"Dust and mildew fill your nostrils as you look into a small crypt full of coffins. Two coffins are broken open, and you hear a scrabble of claws. From the corner of your eye, you glimpse movement in the shadows; it's gone before you get a good look."

I like that alot and indeed it does give an indication of the room layout and focuses on the main danger.

It does however miss the rubble-strewn floor (tripping hazard), unstable roof (trap), reek of decay (disease hazard) and dust/low light (visibility hazard) which really are just there as tags so could just be added below in the notes.

 

[MarkB]

I like that alot and indeed it does give an indication of the room layout and focuses on the main danger.

It does however miss the rubble-strewn floor (tripping hazard), unstable roof (trap), reek of decay (disease hazard) and dust/low light (visibility hazard) which really are just there as tags so could just be added below in the notes.

Or as separate lines to add at certain passive perception DCs, to reward players of more observant characters. After all, not everyone is going to notice those details in the moments before things kick off in here.

Honestly, even having the noise in the shadows be picked up automatically may be a misstep, as it ensures things kick off before anyone even enters the room, leading to the strong likelihood of a doorway pile-up battle.

 

[Staffan]

"King Alphonse is dead and the rightful heir needs to be found before civil war breaks out. The King's Chamberlain, Jean-Pierre Chevalier has summoned you to the Wandering Minstrel to request your aid. There he informs you that a patent that proves whom is the legitimate heir has been stolen by thieves in nearby Kingston, a day's ride away. He tells you that you must move quickly to break into the thieves guildhall and retrieve the stolen patent. The Chamberlain is willing to answer additional questions you may have or go into deeper detail about the situation, so long as your questions do not put the heir apparent in jeopardy."

The king is dead without a proper heir? Seems like a perfect time to institute a better system of government!