I haven’t gamed in person in years, but in person or remote isn’t the issue.
You’re perhaps closer to it on strangers versus friends.
Where I see complaints about 3e/3.5e is here on ENworld - a site originally for 3e, iirc - not in actual play. (An aside, but in actual play, 4e is the only edition I remember people hating on during play - the grind and the stacked conditions and “everyone is a caster” stuff.)
Perhaps there are complaints here because there are more people who play with min-maxers and feel the need to match them here, or more people who play with strangers, or more people who fear pointy hat DM’s and proactively min-max?
Or perhaps it’s theoretical about game rules they half remember from 20 years ago and may never have played? A lot of complaints focus on late edition splatbooks, which tend to be crap in every edition, and assume any all possible optional rules are in by default.
Whereas what I run - and see others run of 3x - is closer to original core rules, with extra rules OUT by default unless intentionally added.
Complaints also tend to focus on high-level play, whereas in 24 years of 3e/3.5e the highest level PC I’ve seen is 14th. If you stick to 6, 10, or 12 levels, whether or not X build is “broken” compared to Y build is irrelevant.
In the 4 gaming groups I’m involved in, strangers aren’t common either.