Though you probably intend this as sarcasm, it's also quite true. Just make it...
Encounter balance? Figure it out yourself. Here's some basic tips and pointers.
Treasure distribution? Figure it out yourself. See our published adventures for examples if needed.
World building? Figure it out yourself. Here's some examples and ideas; see our published setting guides for others.
Monster creation? Figure it out yourself, using the published monsters as guidelines and for ideas, tips, and inspiration.
Campaign management? Figure it out yourself. Here's some more basic tips and pointers.
...and you're not too far from ready to rock. What's needed are those tips, pointers, and examples; presented as rough guidelines and ideas rather than hard-coded rules or instructions.
Seriously, many DMing skills are something self-taught to suit one's own aims and methods, and largely can't be learned from a book. Given that, we simply have to assume and accept that there's inevitably going to be rookie mistakes here and there.