1000 Things Your Characters do if They Have Deathwishes

[Interested2]

Here's a few that I've done:

301) Name your 18th level Archmage with a reputation of several thousand Fred. Yes, Fred the Archmage.

302) Ask your companions to bodily hurl you down an unknown hall at high speed to 'see whats in there'.

303) Push the mind flayer in the party off a three story staircase 'as a joke'.

(One of my friends did this, I was the mind flayer in question, 5 minutes later...munchie time)

304) Ignore said mind flayers stares at your skull afterward.

305) When riding into battle next to legendary heros and generals, scream "Who gave us these chicken-s**t mounts?"

306) When unknown aliens land rip open their spacecraft with as much force as you can.

(This happened in the Forgotten Realms, oddly enough)

307) Play a chaotic evil drow wizard in a party composed entirely of lawful good elvan paladins.

(Friend did this)

308) Punt any gnome.

309) Draw from any magical deck, flip any magical coin, etc.

310) Draw repeatedly from said magic random item while saying that 'I can handle anything it throws at me'.

 

[Taneel BrightBlade]

311:yell "Asmodaos I challenge you to a duel" while in baator

 

[Interested2]

312) Attempt to bribe a guard with a copper piece.
313) Break down a mages door after he kicks you out (because he found out you cheated him).
314) Kill a purple worm in one shot (from an arrow) at 11th level (without a crit), at which point the DM bugs out and kills you in a variety of nasty ways.
315) Consume any energy field bigger than your head.
316) Cast magic missile into the darkness.
317) Consistantly and constantly use quotes from computer games when you kill something. (Multi-Kill! Ultra Kill! MONSTER KILL!)
318) Tap your foot against the table as though you will never stop.
319) Say anything along the lines of 'your face' to a 34th level, evil mage when he threatens you.
320) Say anything along the lines of 'your face' to the DM.

 

[Halivar]

Probably because they're too busy trying to rip each other's throats out. Because demons and devils really don't get along at all.

That was the joke.

 

[Interested2]

321) Engage in any sort of conversation with a succubus.

 

[Kemrain]

321) Engage in any sort of conversation with a succubus.

322) Insist upon playing said Succubus.

- Kemrain the Fiendish Dire Ebola.

 

[Interested2]

323) Ask your DM "Can I play an Awakened Multiheaded Corrupted Dire Ant?"

 

[demiurge1138]

324. Mention the words "regeneration" or "army of hill giants" in your character's description.

325. Insist on using reincarnate scrolls instead of rezzing, because they're cheaper.

326. Despite being a ranged fighter, stay about 5ft on average from your opponents.

327. Eat anything in an unmarked container.

328. Try to cheat a rakshasa.

329. Forget to wash off after being covered with gore in a predator-filled woods.

Demiurge out.

 

[PallidPatience]

268. Stealing anything from a mage. Especially an evil and powerful one.

This is actually in my bone halfling master thrower/exotic weapon master boomerang expert's backstory, and how he got turned into a bone halfling. Don't get caught stealing from the big, bad necromancer's pockets, children!

330. Ignore the battle going on in the brothel that you're invading, and check out the empty room upstairs, instead.

331. Randomly climb on statues in a place known to have belonged to someone known as "The Lich King".

332. Randomly attack other statues in "The Lich King's" castle.

333. Stare into or break mirrors in said castle.

334. Try to seduce a feral minotaur, then allow the troll in the party to piss him off.