1000 Things Your Characters do if They Have Deathwishes

[Halivar]

117. Play spin the bottle with a succubus.

That's a good one. I'll do you one better. If you really want to die:

234. Ask a succubus and an erinyes if you can watch them play spin-the-bottle.

Then again, you might get away while they argue over who gets to tortue you for eternity. Aww, what the heck am I saying? A succubus and an erinyes? In the same room? Your presence probably doesn't even register with them.

 

[DarkSoldier]

I'm glad to see my thread has come back to life after a year of inactivity.

Here's another one:

235. Attempt the single-round Echani Expertise CdG on a mid-level Wookiee NPC. It was the shortest-lived character I'd ever played, tied with the victim of the next one.

236. Attack two evil PC's as a 3rd-level Jedi Guardian.

 

[AIM-54]

210?) Play Mechwarrior and get into a firefight. Gee I just got hit what limb/organ did I lose?

Heh, I remember those days...That also applies to the old 2nd Edition critical hit tables. No good for anyone (though occasionally amusing )

 

[demiurge1138]

237 (perhaps?). Try to offer your services as a mercenary to a balor.
238. Pay a visit to Dr. Shiny.
239. Try to take the Excecutioner of Hell's head.
240. Try to trick an arcanoloth.
241. Show an illithid mercy.
242. Trust anything with more tentacles than you have.
243. Get involved with any plan involving dangling from ropes upside down.
244. Trust anyone you meet while they're carving a death threat meant for you.
245. Go near the castle.
246. Give the DM ideas.

Demiurge out.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

247. Get in front of the dwarf who has a deathwish.
248. Give Gargauth the finger when he gives you the offer of "join me or die". (Roze, my cleric did that. Didn't die. She killed him the second meeting so I'd say he had the deathwish daring to ask a cleric of Torm to join him..... )
249. Piss off the cleric.
250. Piss off the party fighter.
251. Piss off the mage.
252. Tell the Blackguard he looks sexier in pastels.
253. Tell the paladin that he can go get "friendlier" with his special mount.
254. Do evil deeds in front of the paladin.
255. Blame the evil deeds on the party cleric who wasn't there.
256. Urinate on the altar of the church of Pelor with all the resident priests watching you. And your cleric.
257. Tell Tyr that his form of "justice" is too heavy-handed and he can shove it up his backside and rotate it.
258. Denounce Cyric in the middle of a throng of his followers.
259. Argue with the DM. On everything. (we had a guy do that.)
260. Seduce the paladin with a succubus using hide alignment. Then reveal true nature after he somehow manages to impregnate her.
261. Use this offspring to garner revenge on "dear ol' daddy" for abandoning him as a child.
262. Question the DM's use of low-level monsters on a high-level party. (ie. Kobolds, goblins, etc.)
263. Stand in front of Ao, the gods' overlord, and call him a "Wuss" (or other vile, derogatory term).
264. Tell Torm that he gets off on watching Lolth shower.
265. Call a paladin "lawful stupid" to his face.

 

[rbingham2000]

Aww, what the heck am I saying? A succubus and an erinyes? In the same room? Your presence probably doesn't even register with them.

Probably because they're too busy trying to rip each other's throats out. Because demons and devils really don't get along at all.

Now that I've got that out of the way...

266. Slapping a king in the face and telling him to go to hell. In front of all his powerful warriors and mages.

267. Doing the same to a god, in front of his priests and divine servants. Hell, just the god alone!

268. Stealing anything from a mage. Especially an evil and powerful one.

 

[drothgery]

269. As a mage or a psion, run out to the lead position to face down an advancing horde, so that you can blast them all with a cone-area spell/power. If most of them drop, like you expected to happen, you're okay. But if only one fails its save...

 

[kirinke]

270: go into the underdark as a elf pc with a can of raid. then start using the raid on any spider you come across. in full view of the priesthood of Lloth.
280: call any elf ranger with a readied bow a pansy.
271: insult a gnome.
272: insult a faerie dragon
273: think that all faerie dragons are harmless pranksters.
274: have a game of 'blink' with a medusa
275: steal a trumpet archon's trumpet
276: steal the paladin's pants
277: have your party illusionist 'paint' the temple of pelor in black
278: have your party illusionist 'paint' the temple of lloth in pastels.

 

[Greylock]

279. Refuse to peak under the curtain 'cause you're above kneeling. Lift the edge with your sword. Hello Felldrake!

280. Go ahead and start across the damned rope bridge, in scale mail, with horses, with head held high. Heck, you're only twenty feet from the end. No fear.....Yaaaahhhh! What the heck was tha...

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

281. "Everbody's playing a Paladin? I guess I'll play a Chaotic Evil Assassin.

282. "God of Storms Huh?! Let's see how he likes a little "dwarf-rain" on his prescious alter!".

283. "Hey Computer! Yea You! Not only am I a Mutant, I belong to a secret society, too!"

284. My dwarf warrior is named Gimli (or elf ranger is Legolas, etc).

285. Ensign Red-Shirt reporting for duty sir!

286. Hey, DM! Your sister's really hot, we're going out next week.

287. Hey DM! Your ex-girlfriend's really hot, we're going out next week.

288. Hey DM! Your mom's really hot, we're going out next week.

289. Hey! We can make extra money by pimping out the druid, whadda think?

290. Give the wizard's familiar the "Bob Barker" treatment.

291. Show up to the game naked.

292. Ask the minotaur where you can get the best "Minotaur Oysters"

293. Roll up your character yourself. Roll all 18's.

294. After every hit, sing Queen's "We will rock you". The ENTIRE song.

295. After every hit, sing Led Zepplin's "Stairway to heaven". The ENTIRE song.

296. Play a deaf/mute character. Play it well.

297. Give the DM's significant other various "indecent" material . Say you found it under the DM's bed.

298. Bring cake. Let everyone but the DM have some.

299. When you kill theBBEG, Jump up, pimp slap the DM and scream "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!"

300. Go to a Vampire LARP wearing a New Kids on the Block" Tee-shirt.

Got more if you wnat them,
Vraille Darkfang