101 Extremely Silly Mercantile Ideas

93) Saplings to be transplanted. Could be dangerous plants for use as castle defenses.
94) Drugs from the BoVD, in disguise underneath lots of coffee.
95) Marionettes, for a stage production. Possibly animated?

As for the gnomish inventions, one could be a pair of "mantis legs" - essentially boots on top of large spring columns, giving the wearer +4 to Jump and Run checks but -4 versus Bull Rushes and Trips.
 

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Perhaps more of a campaign idea than a trade good, but what the heck:

96) A barge full of alchemical and magical waste. No port in their right mind is willing to accept the shipment. Meanwhile, the crew on board the barge is slowly mutating... Think "The Magic Dump" on the high seas.
 
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Here we go:

Empty Genie bottles

Perfumed Elvish Underwear

Tons of pillows filled with Cockatrice feathers

Rolling Beholder toys. Beholders wobble but they don't fall down.

:D
 


102. Huge lists of pointless items that somebody made for entertainment purposes. (Hey, there's a lot more of these out there than you'd realise.)

103. The tarrasque. In twelve hundred little acid-filled jars. Break 'em open at the other end, and Bam!

104. A small (but still significant) temple.
 

105. gnomish 'active wear' suspenders
106. bones of great orc war chiefs (tusks used for strength potions)
107. prosthetic elven ears
108. halfling rhyming litterature
109. dwarven toys (fine worked metal and stone sliding pieces, like rubix cubes, Runic Cubes!)
110. rare plants from exotic locations (why quest for it when you can plant it!)
111. exotic weapons (they have to come from somewhere)
112. roc eggs
113. dragon eggs
114. displacer beast whiskers
115. blink dog blinking doo-doo (for those practical jokers)
116. contraband nymph paintings
117. cyclops eyes
118. porn elemental lube (thank you progress quest)
119. domesticated animals from far off lands
120. narcoleptic watch dogs
121. troll taffy
122. ground unicorn horn
123. used (and broken) golem body part discount grab bag
124. disposable weapons
125. celestial eagle omlettes
 

[The 'current' inventory of the Gryphon Companies, Unlimited, an old merchant character's trading company]


126- 68 bottles of fine and rare wines
127- A set of three identically cut gems (1 ruby, 1 sapphire, and 1 emerald) worth a total of 100,000 - 110,000 gp. Velvet-lined wood box included.
128- One diamond baseball, with rubies as the stitches (350 carats, flawless).
129- A ruby scepter (500 carats, flawless).
130- Chess board, with the black squares and pieces made of Baal-Rog bone, and the white made of unicorn bone.
131- 3 Ghost Ships in bottles. Each comes with a set of directions, written in 3 different languages, and pictures as well. The directions consist of, "DO NOT OPEN!" (my personal favorite)
132- Magic Tattoo Ink - 3 bottles - creates an extremely vivid, ever-mobile picture - if the tattoo is a picture of the wearer's familiar, it will mimic the animal's actions.
133- 3 slightly tattered Stuffed Animals (a tiger, an elephant, and a bear) - appear to be children's toys - to the child with whom they bond, they seem to be alive, and become the child's friend - once bonded, cannot be stolen or lost, but only freely given. Made by the Dwarvin alchemist C. Hobbes, who obviously has both children and imagination. At the request of Hobbes, they are not for sale.
134- The Never-Ending Story book - A large leather-bound book with three entwined silver serpents on the cover. Opening the cover begins a story that is specially tailored for each individual reader, and nominally relates to the physical surroundings of the reader.
135- 3 Magical Music Boxes - Each have 3 gems on top - Each gem is a song that can be recorded by turning the gem and playing the song, and played back by touching the gem twice.
136- Rogets the Saurus - This semi-intelligent lizard is one of the god's wackier creations - Speaking all of the major languages in the world, he know a million different synonyms for every word. Not terribly effective as a translator, but great if you need to find a synonym for synonym.
137- 1 Brownie box camera - a 4"x5"x6" box, on which are inscribed a number of wards - Inside is a faerie with an artistic bent - when a hole in the side of the box is flipped open, it will paint anything it sees. Comes with instructions on use, care and maintenance.
138- The Songbook of Ages - a thick tome, covered in aging leather - filled with music - each song is the most beautiful to be written in it's generation, since intelligent races first began making music - there is (always) room for one more song at the back of the book.
 


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