101 jokes about the four different PC types.
- Thread starter Dark Jezter
- Start date
demiurge1138
Inventor of Super-Toast
#24
Favorite Food While Adventuring
Real Men: eat iron rations and never complain.
Real Roleplayers: hunt down a brace of coneys, collect herbs and tubers, and make a stew.
Loonies: eat raw troll meat, so they can do their impression of that guy from Alien.
Munchkins: hunt down a great red wyrm for the drumsticks.
#25
Favorite Weapons
Real Men: wield longswords, battle axes, or a good stout club.
Real Roleplayers: either use an exotic weapon (to reflect years of training in an esoteric style) or a sap (to reflect that they have moral compunctions against killing).
Loonies: wield funoodles, iron rations, boards with nails in them, or any number of gnomish gadgets.
Munchkins: wield the Axe of the Dwarvish Lords in one hand and Narzil in the other.
Demiurge out.
Favorite Food While Adventuring
Real Men: eat iron rations and never complain.
Real Roleplayers: hunt down a brace of coneys, collect herbs and tubers, and make a stew.
Loonies: eat raw troll meat, so they can do their impression of that guy from Alien.
Munchkins: hunt down a great red wyrm for the drumsticks.
#25
Favorite Weapons
Real Men: wield longswords, battle axes, or a good stout club.
Real Roleplayers: either use an exotic weapon (to reflect years of training in an esoteric style) or a sap (to reflect that they have moral compunctions against killing).
Loonies: wield funoodles, iron rations, boards with nails in them, or any number of gnomish gadgets.
Munchkins: wield the Axe of the Dwarvish Lords in one hand and Narzil in the other.
Demiurge out.
Last edited:
Forgive me if I accidentially copied someone else's idea.
#26: The action in a first round against a thousand orcs...
Real Men: Carefully move in on a smaller pack and go for the Great Cleave.
Real RP'ers: Get away and get a talk (or a good butt-kicking) with the leader.
Loonies: CHAAAAAAARGE!
Munchkins: Snap his fingers and they all go boom.
#27: Favorite console/PC RPGs:
Real Men: Final Fantasy series.
Real RP'ers: Those old Sierra adventure games (King's Quest, Space Quest, etc.)
Loonies: "Yes, DOOM and Quake really are RPGs."
Munchkins: Anything as long as a Game Genie/GameShark is plugged in the console.
#26: The action in a first round against a thousand orcs...
Real Men: Carefully move in on a smaller pack and go for the Great Cleave.
Real RP'ers: Get away and get a talk (or a good butt-kicking) with the leader.
Loonies: CHAAAAAAARGE!
Munchkins: Snap his fingers and they all go boom.
#27: Favorite console/PC RPGs:
Real Men: Final Fantasy series.
Real RP'ers: Those old Sierra adventure games (King's Quest, Space Quest, etc.)
Loonies: "Yes, DOOM and Quake really are RPGs."
Munchkins: Anything as long as a Game Genie/GameShark is plugged in the console.
Dark Jezter
First Post
#28
Favorite (non-LotR) fantasy/medieval movies...
The Real Man: Conan the Barbarian, The 13th Warrior
The Real Roleplayer: Elizabeth, Ladyhawke
The Loonie: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (this will become obvious because he'll make endless Monty Python jokes during sessions)
The Munchkin: Dungeons & Dragons, because the main character can do everything!
Favorite (non-LotR) fantasy/medieval movies...
The Real Man: Conan the Barbarian, The 13th Warrior
The Real Roleplayer: Elizabeth, Ladyhawke
The Loonie: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (this will become obvious because he'll make endless Monty Python jokes during sessions)
The Munchkin: Dungeons & Dragons, because the main character can do everything!
Zorkion
First Post
#29
when it comes to women---
Real men-act cool and show off muscles
Real roleplayers-give a traumatic story of how much she looks like his long dead mother who died in their peaceful village after a band of orcs raided it....and that if it is the last thing that he can do, they will hunt down the half-orc who killed his mother
Loonies-kick everyother male in the groin so that the women have to use a process of elimination
Munchkins-promptly say, "HAH! you thought you had me there did you? well the trick's on you: i already have a masterwork +5 vorpal keen woman of ugliness-bane!and it gives me a +5 to charisma!!!HAH!!!"
when it comes to women---
Real men-act cool and show off muscles
Real roleplayers-give a traumatic story of how much she looks like his long dead mother who died in their peaceful village after a band of orcs raided it....and that if it is the last thing that he can do, they will hunt down the half-orc who killed his mother
Loonies-kick everyother male in the groin so that the women have to use a process of elimination
Munchkins-promptly say, "HAH! you thought you had me there did you? well the trick's on you: i already have a masterwork +5 vorpal keen woman of ugliness-bane!and it gives me a +5 to charisma!!!HAH!!!"
MeepoTheMighty
First Post
#30 Favorite Mini
Real Man: Dwarf with axe.
Drama Queen: Hand-crafted personally customized elven bard, complete with family crest on his ring and a lock of hair from his star-crossed lover hanging near his bosom.
Loony: A gumdrop with a toothpick stuck in it.
Munchkin: Optimus Prime
#31 Favorite Spy Tool
Real Man: Aston Martin, Walther PPK, and a watch with a laser in it.
Drama Queen: Amazing suave and charm.
Loony: Swedish Penis Pump
Munchkin: Who needs stealth if you can just blow them up?
Real Man: Dwarf with axe.
Drama Queen: Hand-crafted personally customized elven bard, complete with family crest on his ring and a lock of hair from his star-crossed lover hanging near his bosom.
Loony: A gumdrop with a toothpick stuck in it.
Munchkin: Optimus Prime
#31 Favorite Spy Tool
Real Man: Aston Martin, Walther PPK, and a watch with a laser in it.
Drama Queen: Amazing suave and charm.
Loony: Swedish Penis Pump
Munchkin: Who needs stealth if you can just blow them up?
s/LaSH
First Post
#33 Favourite Superhero to play
Real Man: Wolverine
Drama Queen: Rorschach (from Watchmen)
Loonie: The Amazing Spider-Ham (I don't make these things up)
Munchkin: Galactus
#34 Favourite Star Wars hero to play
Real Man: Han Solo
Drama Queen: Luke Skywalker
Loonie: The Sarlacc. Failing that, Jabba with a lightsaber.
Munchkin: Darth Vader. What? He turned good at the end! But make sure you list the Super Star Destroyer-class Executor on the character sheet... I'm not cheating, Vader never actually commanded the Death Star but he did control the Executor.
#35 Favourite Insect (or creepy-crawly)
Real Man: Praying Mantis
Drama Queen: Black Widow... a male Black Widow. Oh, the angst! Doomed to die for love!
Loonie: Aphids. Did you know that some aphids are born pregnant? (Many insects can reproduce without males.) Anyway, a true loonie plays an aphid not as an individual, but as a long line of individuals that make no distinction between self just to watch the other players squirm. (And no, I don't actualy know of a game where you play insects, but that wouldn't stop the true loonie.)
Munchkin: Those things from Aliens. You know, the big ones that laid eggs. I'll play a hive of those. They have a hive mind, I'm sure.
Real Man: Wolverine
Drama Queen: Rorschach (from Watchmen)
Loonie: The Amazing Spider-Ham (I don't make these things up)
Munchkin: Galactus
#34 Favourite Star Wars hero to play
Real Man: Han Solo
Drama Queen: Luke Skywalker
Loonie: The Sarlacc. Failing that, Jabba with a lightsaber.
Munchkin: Darth Vader. What? He turned good at the end! But make sure you list the Super Star Destroyer-class Executor on the character sheet... I'm not cheating, Vader never actually commanded the Death Star but he did control the Executor.
#35 Favourite Insect (or creepy-crawly)
Real Man: Praying Mantis
Drama Queen: Black Widow... a male Black Widow. Oh, the angst! Doomed to die for love!
Loonie: Aphids. Did you know that some aphids are born pregnant? (Many insects can reproduce without males.) Anyway, a true loonie plays an aphid not as an individual, but as a long line of individuals that make no distinction between self just to watch the other players squirm. (And no, I don't actualy know of a game where you play insects, but that wouldn't stop the true loonie.)
Munchkin: Those things from Aliens. You know, the big ones that laid eggs. I'll play a hive of those. They have a hive mind, I'm sure.
MeepoTheMighty
First Post
#36 Favorite Weapon
Real Men: Bastard Sword
Drama Queens: A barbed scourge, to let their foes feel a tiny sliver of the angst and pain flowing like poison through their sorrowful heart.
Loonies: Sword-chucks, yo!
Munchkins: Icingdeath and Twinkle
#37 Favorite Spell
Real Men: Fireball
Drama Queens: Legend Lore
Loonies: Otto's Irresistable Dance, cast on self
Munchkins: Harm
Real Men: Bastard Sword
Drama Queens: A barbed scourge, to let their foes feel a tiny sliver of the angst and pain flowing like poison through their sorrowful heart.
Loonies: Sword-chucks, yo!
Munchkins: Icingdeath and Twinkle
#37 Favorite Spell
Real Men: Fireball
Drama Queens: Legend Lore
Loonies: Otto's Irresistable Dance, cast on self
Munchkins: Harm
Kahuna Burger
First Post
Just to try to revive things.
Why the Gamers like Savage Species.
Real Men - Half Orge..... mmmmm........
Drama Queens - An emancipated spawn.... Yes, with the death of my foul master, I will join the adventuring group which slew him, trying to right those horrible wrongs I unwillingly participated in and questing for my lost past and who I truely was... Yes you will hate me, I hate myself and welcome oblivion, but not until my task is done.... *does stretching exercises for all the dramatic guestures that are coming*
Loonies - Anthropomorphic animals!!! And, and SYMBIOTIC monsters!!!! Wait, wait!!!! .... CATDOG!!!!!!!
Munchkins - Well, it does say that you can lower the ECL if the character classes aren't as good a fit or based on the campaign right? So I think you'll be able to approve my ECL 1 spectral vrock... Just hear me out....
Kahuna Burger
Why the Gamers like Savage Species.
Real Men - Half Orge..... mmmmm........
Drama Queens - An emancipated spawn.... Yes, with the death of my foul master, I will join the adventuring group which slew him, trying to right those horrible wrongs I unwillingly participated in and questing for my lost past and who I truely was... Yes you will hate me, I hate myself and welcome oblivion, but not until my task is done.... *does stretching exercises for all the dramatic guestures that are coming*
Loonies - Anthropomorphic animals!!! And, and SYMBIOTIC monsters!!!! Wait, wait!!!! .... CATDOG!!!!!!!
Munchkins - Well, it does say that you can lower the ECL if the character classes aren't as good a fit or based on the campaign right? So I think you'll be able to approve my ECL 1 spectral vrock... Just hear me out....
Kahuna Burger
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