101 Reasons Your Character Missed Last Session

[Electric Wizard]

104) Joined a satyr's bacchanalia and had a Hangover-style adventure catching up with the group.

 

[Starfox]

105) Had her period

 

[Mary_Crowell]

106) If the character is the party's cleric of the Temple of the Fates, she/he was cleansing a temple and got chained up in the temple's dungeon by its corrupted guardian naga. (Not funny perhaps but will actually be used in the next gaming session.)