This one struck me as really interesting. As a DM, I realize that distinction. I know that plans I have are not "canon" until they are explicitly included in the game, and sometimes I make radical changes to offscreen elements that I had going in my head. As a player, people get very attached to their backgrounds and it's much harder to be flexible in that way. There is some merit to the notion of linearity and consistency, but nonetheless this is an interesting issue to raise.TWO. Realise that your character does not exist outside of the things you have said.
Yep, that's a tough one for some people (probably most people). Important though.TEN. Embrace failure.