D&D 5E 15 Petty Reasons I Won't Buy 5e

[DM Howard]

1. The release schedule is staggered. Quality control? Please! If that were the issue, all three core books would be released in December to ensure that much more quality control.

I probably will be waiting until November to get all three books. Firstly, it just bugs me. I'm sorry it just seems silly to me. Secondly my group is happy with other RPGs right now anyway so it doesn't bother me to wait. We will see though, I may crack out of curiosity.

 

[Giltonio_Santos]

Apparently, 4E already solves all of your problems, isn't that an awesome thing? I still have to wait two months before playing the D&D I want to play, but you can do this now. Very lucky!

 

[Jeff Carlsen]

It may be topical, but this thread looks like edition warring to me.

 

[keterys]

It didn't seem to be targeting any particular previous edition to me. It's fairly tongue in cheek while also bringing up some valid concerns for the work in progress (that we're supposed to be providing constructive feedback on so it comes out better).

I may not be squinting well enough, but it doesn't feel like edition warring to me.

 

[Jester David]

It didn't seem to be targeting any particular previous edition to me. It's fairly tongue in cheek while also bringing up some valid concerns for the work in progress (that we're supposed to be providing constructive feedback on so it comes out better).

I may not be squinting well enough, but it doesn't feel like edition warring to me.

Given the PHB is gone for the printer, and the DMG and MM are likely also nearing completion, the time for WotC to address concerns has looooong passed. For example, they're not going to scrap all the work they've done for the MM to add in monster roles.

 

[Mistwell]

It's true that at some point relatively soon, new threads simply bashing 5e would be edition warring, right? I mean, a thread created just to bash 3e or 4e would be edition warring now, right? There was a non-edition-warring point to 5e bash threads before the game was done, as it was advocacy for a change. But once it's off to the printers...isn't it just edition warring?

 

[sidonunspa]

Tempted to offer the OP some cheese for his whine...

But I'll say one thing, monster types (striker/artillery) seemed silly to me, I commonly have monsters in my game fill more then one roll, the classification seemed arbitrary and is in all honesty not nessessary.

 

[Johnny Champion]

I seriously didn't see sarcasm in the OP. It was relatively straight forward list of reasons not to buy 5e. Sarcasm, however, reveals the writers perspective by stating the opposite and is best served with wit. There was little in the former but even less in the latter.

 

[Mistwell]

I found this and thought it was funny and appropriate:

I found this sidebar in a leaked draft of the DMG.

GAME OPTION: RAGE QUIT

If the final version of the game doesn't have the elements
necessary for you to play D&D given your niche playstyle or
mismatched agenda, you can employ the option of rage-
quitting.
Prior to rage-quitting, it is important to create pretext on
the official game forums by stating all the tiny things that
must be in the game for you to buy the product and play it.
Make grandiose, unfounded claims as to how many other
people share your particular needs. Dismiss out of
hand any reasoned arguments for alternatives that are
presented to you by other forum posters. Suggest that
any designer not including your preferences in the final
product did so purposefully and probably with intent to
insult you personally and the 90% of the player base that
surely agrees with your position.
When the official rules are released, check to see if your
particular preference has been included. If it has not been
included or not included in a manner you consider shows
suitable deference and respect to your playstyle, go
to the official forums and post a long, conspiratorial rant
explaining how the company that produced the game has
lost your money forever and that you and the rest of the
playerbase are going to boycott the product and dance
upon the ashes of the company when it goes bankrupt
due to the extreme loss of revenue brought about by not
having multiple sets of rules regarding something like
hit points or daily powers.
This is just an example of how to rage quit. Use
your imagination when posting your diatribe and aim to
be as entertaining as possible to the rest of the posters
who will adapt to the new rules and play happily for
years to come. Being overly-dramatic is key here. It's not a
true rage-quit unless the person reading your rant can
picture you frothing at the mouth and flipping tables.

 

[Thaumaturge]

I found this and thought it was funny and appropriate:

Ragequit doesn't get other people all frothing at the mouth too?

They. Nerfed. Ragequit.

That's it.

/ragequit.

Thaumaturge.