212 Odd, Useless, Interesting, and other wise non-sensical magic items

[jayaint]

Bottle of Beauty

This plain looking bottle, when laid horizontal upon a flat surface and spun, will automatically slow and stop with the mouth of the bottle facing the character with the highest CHA. Alas, it cannot deferentiate between male and female.

Chest of Displacement

Dark grains of beautiful wood wrap around this small sized chest. Any object placed within the box will, when the lid latched shut, appear approx. 6 ft directly opposite of the direction the chest closer is looking. It will be unharmed and sitting on the nearest convenient level space.

Earrings of Echoes

Simple earrings of roughly pounded metal, unadorned with design. When worn, however, the listener will hear everything as though through a large conch shell, or from across the Grand Canyon.

Boots of Sensation

Heavy duty travelling boots, found in several colors. Endurance effect. Also gives the spell-like ability to fly 1/day for 3 concurrent rounds. However, each day that the boot's fly effect is used, or if they are taken off and put on again, roll a d10 to determine what the inside of the boot will feel like for that following day.
1-2: Soft squishy muck. -2 concentration checks and unable to take 10 or 20 on skill checks.
3-4: Golf ball sized gravel pieces. Run is only 3x movement rate. Unable to charge.
5-6: Briar patch. Take d4 subdual damage for each hour worn.
7-8: Soft, giving sand. Endurance effect is gone. Actually doubles the rate of fatigue.
9-0: Regular boot.

Small metal Mirror +1

Enchanted mirror is actually a highly intelligent magic item. It chooses not to reveal itself in any way, even going so far as to mask its magical nature. It is merely the spying eye of an ancient wyrm, too tired to fly about, yet still curious about the world around it. The wyrm stays hidden away with its treasure cache and watches the various heroes travel about through the vision of the mirror. The item will always find its way into the belongings of a hero travelling to a land the mirror has not been to for a long while.

Mote of Chaos

This tiny speck of a pebble, no more than a grain of sand will alter the reality of those around it. Depending on which way the wind is blowing, or how blades of grass are currently underfoot, the mote could cuse the character to weigh as much as castle tower, or nothing at all. It could emit a loud rumbling boom at odd hours, or squeal softly and annoyingly for hours on end. It might become hot enough to burn through armor and stone. It is truly a small piece of chaos that has become inadvertantly trapped on the prime material plane.


-jay

 

[TDRandall]

Stilt-skin Rumpel: a spinning wheel of legend. Unfortunately, the story has become completely reversed, including the name of the fey that created it, since the wheel actually spins gold into straw. Up to 100GP worth of gold can be converted into 50GP worth of straw each day.

Granny's Keen Needle: Often found with the forementioned granny's vorpal sheers, this 3 inch needle is able to punch through anything, including steel, mithril, admantium, even force walls (as long as the width of material is less than 3 inches). Used as a weapon, it always causes 1hp of damage (ignore all DR, strength penalties or bonuses are ignored) and is often coated with poison to deliver extra punch to otherwise impenetrable tanks.

The "Flying Window" Tapestry: first created by a wizard specializing in force and lightning named Gill Bates, this tapestry reveals an actual, real, remote scene from somewhere on the same plane/planet as the tapestry itself, as if the viewer was looking through a window from the corresponding point. The view, however, continually moves at a rate of 60 feet per round. Left unattended, this movement will always be directly "forward" to the scene (even through walls or doors), but a viewer can use up to 30 ft of that movement for simultaneous lateral motion (sideways, up or down). Furthermore, it can be turned by the viewer at a very slow rate (45 degrees at a time, with a minimum move of 15 feet between each turn). The "window" does create an actual scrying point that can be detected and possibly responded to as normal with the following alterations. If dampened (by an antimagic zone, for instance), the effective scry point will move directly "forward" while showing black until out of the range of the dampening effect. If 'dispelled', the scene resets to a random point on the plane/planet at a height 5 feet above the ground, and begins to move foreward again.

 

[Herpes Cineplex]

Granny's Keen Needle: Often found with the forementioned granny's vorpal sheers, this 3 inch needle is able to punch through anything, including steel, mithril, admantium, even force walls (as long as the width of material is less than 3 inches). Used as a weapon, it always causes 1hp of damage (ignore all DR, strength penalties or bonuses are ignored) and is often coated with poison to deliver extra punch to otherwise impenetrable tanks.

...at least, that's how the sales pitch goes. Unfortunately, unless you can find a thimble with a hardness higher than steel, mithril, adamantium, a force wall, or whatever else you're trying to push it through, you're just going to jam that needle right through your hand.

--
remember, kids: sewing is dangerous
ryan

 

[DeBracy]

Mumfhubbla's Green Cloth of Allurement

The (decently) great wizard Mumfhubbla once grew tired of lonely nights and so decided to do something about it. He picked out his best garb and enchanted it. Soon, Mumfhubbla was known as one of the worlds greatest lovers. And no one could undestand why...

Mumfhubbla’s Green Cloth of Allurement is a potent magical item – to the wearer it appears to be an old piece of regular green cloth and this is how all persons unaffected by it’s power percieve it. Those who are affected, however, will not register the ragged piece of cloth at all...

The Green Cloth has the power to make it’s wearer virtually unresistable for members of the opposite sex. Example of the cloth in work:

Günnban, an old retired Fighter, strolls into the Inn with No Name with the Green Cloth hanging in his belt. Barmaid Elinda who is sweeping the floor looks up at him and must now be tested - if she does not succed a Will Save (DC25) she will be instantly attracted to Günnban. Poor Elinda fails and is suddenly all over the older man...

Sorceress Mithanya who is also in the inn spots the Fighter comming in as well. She is however strong of mind and is not affected by the Cloth. Not right now at least. The next time she lays eye upon the cloth she will need to make another check. At the third glance even the mighty Mithanya becomes higly interessted in Günnban’s stories...

Later the same evening young Daevolûn has showed up as well. He’s not requiered to make a check. He is just baffled to see all of the women fighting for the attention of the grey haired man.

While under the influence of the cloth a person is highly keen on assisting and helping the wearer in almost any way (wearer gains a +6 bonus to Diplomacy or other appropriate skill, DMs discretion) and would never consider assaulting him/her. A person affected by the cloth regains his/her full wits 1D4 hours after leaving it’s presence.


_________________________________________________

Daevolûn could not believe his eyes! Here he was, just about the only man in the whole tavern, and surely the only young and handsome one. Still, that old geezer, with his shabby clothes and beard was the one who got all the attention from the ladies! Even the raven haired sorceress from up north giggled at his silly jokes! Why? Why?! Daevolûn had all the right clothes, he had all the right moves, he even washed himself just a few days ago! Still that pathetic little man with that ragged piece of green cloth in his belt was the undisputed centre of attention. He even looked surprised himself...

 

[Mark Causey]

These items were created in haste to add to a pitiful shopkeepers list of items, but the players latched on to it and I ended up making them fairly important to a local economy, and serve as children's toys.

Frog of Power - A frog of power appears as a normal porcelain or clay frog, and is masterfully crafted, and can easily act as a door stop or paperweight. However, when placed on top of a unique magical item (unique meaning that the same item can't be used twice in the last 24 hours), the frog comes alive, and acts as a frog would, except that it is charmed not to leave its owner. Depending on the power of the most powerful magic aura of the item it is placed on, the frog will remain alive for one round, one minute, one hour, 12 hours, or one day. Frogs of power love petrified flies.

Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects, detect magic; Price 5 gp; Weight 3 lb.

Petrified Flies - These finely crafted pewter flies are almost exact replicas of flies, and can serve as caltrops (if needed on the fly). However, when given to a frog of power, they act as a major magical aura, and can keep said frog happy and alive for an hour.

Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, Nystul's Magical Aura; Price 1 gp; Weight - lb.

Sticky paper - Stickers, for short. When wizards have a little extra paper for their scroll creation lying around, and nothing better to do, they can hire artists to make wonderful sketches or paintings on these scraps. With a little work, the wizard can make the now illuminated scrap paper even more delightful for children by making it stick to things when great tenacity, including people and clothing (and hair!) After a small talk with the town council, most wizards also imbue it with the ability to unstick as well. These items serve as perfect initiators for starting up a frog of power, as a child can have many 'unique' ones. Depending on the economy of the area, some might even be collectible.

Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, spiderclimb; Price 1 sp; Weight - lb.

 

[David Howery]

one of the daffiest magic items that I recall was in the module about the Shrine of Tamoachan (?), the aztec like place. It had a sword in it that had a bonus vs. gas spores.
now, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't gas spores blow up when you hit them with a sharp object? So, just why would you want a sword that is good at it?

 

[Stormrunner]

The Ring of Tuesday: This unbroken silver chain can be dropped on the ground so as to form a 3-ft.-diameter circle. Inside the circle, it is Tuesday.

Useful if you have a cohort named Wimpy.


Along that line of thought...

Eyeburster's Healthful Herbs: This metal cylinder is engraved with unreadable runes. When squeezed in the hand, it plays a brief snatch of a jaunty sailor's hornpipe, then the top pops off and a stream of spinach shoots skyward, curving around to descend atop the character's head. With a DC 10 Reflex save, the user can lean back and catch the spinach in his mouth, otherwise it splattes all over the character, staining clothes and skin for 1d6 days. A user who catches the spinach must then make a DC 15 Will save. On a failure, he spits the vile stuff out and is sickened for 1d4 rounds. On a success, he receives a +6 enhancement bonus to Strength for one minute, and also is healed of 1d8+5 points of damage.

 

[Ferret]

Book mark of thoughts.

The thought of however holds the book mark can be storred inside the book mark, and when placed inside a blank book or against a piece of paper, and the comand work is spoken the thoughts are transcribed on the paper. Whatever message is inside the book mark is erased after 24 hours.

 

[Andor]

It's all about atmosphere...

Fedora of Monologueing
This snappy hat adds a +2 Cool bonus the wearers charisma, but also continuously narrates the wearers thoughts out loud. Chaotic Evil characters monologue in the third person.

Ring of Music
This plain silver ring causes music appropriate to the scene to be audible to all within 60'. While this makes stealth impossible the ring does provide a usefull warning by playing ominous music before ambushes.

Windy Cape
This stylish cloak always flaps dramatically as though in a mild wind.

Ring of Pinball Wizardry
This ring provides a +10 insight bonus to all rolls involving pinball games.

 

[reason]

...

Another one from Principia Infecta. The genius here being that a) there's no way to determine whether it is the real deal, b) even if it was, there's no way to benefit from it given the boundaries of the setting cosmology. Maybe.

Krineth's True Map

If I had a stamped lead hundred for each alleged copy of Krineth's True Map in the shelves of our library ... well, I would be able to live handsomely for the rest of my years in a large manse on the Great Way. Take my word for it, there is no such thing!

Oh yes, indeed. Krineth was large beyond his stature even in life, but no map can show the Enclave lands. The purses of clever thieves and the Farthest Wilderness wait on those who would believe such a thing. By coming to me you have at least saved yourselves from the latter fate.

My, this is an elegant work for all it is useless. Look, there, the Neth Road in the Greenwood ... and all sorts of other fanciful suppositions. A portrait of Krineth on the final curl, well I never. If you cannot find a better price, I am sure I could convince the Master to part with three lead tens - this would go well with the other maps and curios.

Reason
Principia Infecta