But HP don't mimic that all. The crew aren't dead because they almost never get hit. This is exactly what I mean. You're making my point for me, frankly!
If you change HP to plot armour, which stops you being hit at all in most cases (rather than getting nickle-and-dimed as you are in 5E), then suddenly you have something that looks a bit closer.
...
I never assume damage is from a direct hit. It can be from the strain of dodging out of the way, it can be a bruise under the armor that stopped the blow, it can be simple as plot armor and luck.
How many times are people shot in TV/movies and they're perfectly okay because their vest stopped the bullet? How many times do they simply miraculously not get hit while pots are exploding and bullets are hitting everywhere around them?
Heck, if you're Rambo getting shot just means you have to cauterize the wound (in a really stupid way, but that's another issue).
Google sometime how many times John McClane would have been dead or at least hospitalized in the movies. He doesn't die, doesn't suffer permanent disability because he has plot armor, aka HP.
In any case, this is way off the OP's request. If 5E rules don't work for you, then it wouldn't be the system for you. I think they work just fine for a lot of people.