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The very wealthy have no need for toilet paper. They have people who go to the bathroom for them.

This phenomena caused some people who wanted to fool others into thinking they too were wealthy to forego their excreting bodily functions, but they did not have somebody to do it for them. This led to the expression "full of crap."
 

This led to the expression "full of crap."

"Man, you're fat!"
"Nah dude, I'm just constipated."

The inspiration for the original post came from when I was walking in the grocery store looking for toilet paper for our bathroom. And you basically have three types.

-The cheap sandpaperesque kind.
-The average two layer stuff.
-And finally the triple layer with aloe vera.

So I got to thinking, as I do: The very wealthy couldn't possibly be using normal toilet paper? Or could they? No, they must have gold-lined silk or linen with embroidered depictions of peasants on it. At least, that's what I got to thinking.

A bidet sounds more plausible in any case. Or having someone do it for you. The wiping that is. Not the actual business itself. That's like asking someone else to go to the dentist for you. Which is something strictly Italians do for you (xp for getting the obscure reference).
 


That's like asking someone else to go to the dentist for you. Which is something strictly Italians do for you (xp for getting the obscure reference).
I'll bite.

Are you alluding to the large number of fake dentists in Italy?

One in five Italian dentists is unqualified, along with an estimated 10,000-15,000 doctors, it was reported today.

More than a thousand people were charged in Italy last year with unauthorised exercise of a medical profession. They included fake doctors, spurious dentists and even a few sham nurses.

In an average year, according to police figures, about 1,000 people have been convicted of the offence. But the penalty is only a fine of up to €516 (£440).

"We catch phoney dentists who laugh in our face," Captain Marco Datti of the carabinieri told the daily La Repubblica. "They say: 'I'll just pay €500, change premises and start again'."
More article at the link.
 

One day in the woods, a bear and a rabbit were both doing their business behind a log. The bear looked over at the rabbit and said "Do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"

"No," the rabbit said.

So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


--Eddie Murphy
 

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