On BESM:
I am of the opinion that BESM is a less than useful document for making anime-themed d20 games (I ran a game based on the Persona series, and didn't use any of the content from it, because none of it was appropriate). As a pop-culture product, it's showing its age, and seems to mainly be about replicating cheesy anime from the nineties. Although an update to reflect things that came out after 2004 (It's weird looking at a document that talks about giant robots and doesn't mention Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, for instance) would probably turn it into TVtropes: The RPG, as given the style of the thing TVtropes sounds like something the authors would have loved had it existed while they were writing it. It's not a bad attempt for what it is, but it's trying to be far too broad by claiming to be an 'Anime RPG', since you may as well try to make a "Books RPG", or a "Theatrical RPG". It's actually more of a "American impression of anime circa 1999 RPG", what with it seemingly being all about giant robots, big-breasted short-skirted schoolgirls who are inexplicably as strong as said giant robots, monster collecting, ninjas and superpowerful martial artists who grunt a lot. That it doesn't even think light novels or visual novels exist is telling. Perhaps I'm being too harsh on it, but it claims an awful lot by being an "anime role-player's handbook". A campaign setting, even a bare-bones one would have helped, since then it could just claim "This is our setting, and it has all these anime tropes in it", which is a lot more resistant to criticism over inclusivity than "this system is for playing anime-themed RPGs".
I agree with the fact that it's got a very bare-bone feel to the system and a lot of work is required on behalf on the GM to make a campaign setting. For me it was easy because I had already been role-playing in the world for a decade by the time i finally found a set of rules I liked, so campaign setting was never a problem for me, but I see what you mean.
On the Untouchable:
The touch AC prerequisite is hard to adjudicate, and probably easy to get way earlier than you should. There's no real way of specifying a minimum AC that doesn't end with characters spontaneously losing all class features should they, say, take a bunch of Dex damage dropping them below 200 AC. It's probably also a prerequisite which will rely quite a lot on other derived abilities, so things like Abrogate, sunder or antimagic could cause them to lose all class features. A minimum number of ranks in Tumble should probably substitute.
Agreed. Instead of ranks in tumble I'd probably just do like say... perhaps maybe 70-90 ranks required in a couple of dex based skills. Tumble & Balance seem the most relevant for the class.
Ability score prerequisites are also counterindicated by the design guidelines, because of the same reasons. You can qualify for the class early using items, and you lose all class features should you take a bunch of Dex damage.
Substituting for skill ranks seems logical. Making the class have a feature that makes them immune to dex damage is a possible patch-work solution, but since it is impossible to drain skill ranks, it seems unnecessary.
A Parry bonus? Why the new bonus type? There's no particular reason why it shouldn't provide a Shield bonus or a Dodge bonus.
Parry bonus is basically meant to replace shield bonus for this class. As a variant rule, parry bonuses and shield bonuses do not stack with one another, you take whichever is highest. Effectively they are the same bonus, but in order for it to qualify as a parry bonus instead of a shield bonus, you must be able to threaten someone with it. For example if you are holding two longswords you can gain a parry bonus to your AC. Two weapon defense grants a parry bonus for example. However if you are holding a longsword and a shield you cannot gain both your shield and parry bonus, rather just take whichever is higher. Characters that use natural weapons may parry with natural weapons.
Opportunistic Disarm, as written, doesn't do anything. Well, doesn't do anything unless the user triggers an AoO which subsequently misses. You can't use Free Actions when it's not your turn. You want an Immediate action.
You are correct sir. I must have missed that. Sorry. Going on 36+ hours without sleep.
If your version of Force Field relies on DvR, then giving it to a potentially non-divine character means it sucks (which is why my version goes off HD).
Personally I really like Bels' rules for force field.
Impossible Combat Expertise should be capped at the penalty to AC taken to attack rolls, so you don't just take the class and then Cexpertise for -1 every turn to get +11 AC. It should probably also just say "When taking a penalty on attack rolls due to Combat Expertise, or Fighting Defensively, the Untouchable gains an untyped bonus to AC equal to the penalty taken, or his class level, whichever is lower. When using the Total Defence action, he gains an untyped bonus to armour class equal to his class level."
Good point. I'll make some adjustments. Like i said the class was meant to be a moch up. Thanks for the feedback btw.
Overall it seems to provide loads of benefits for very little drawback. Sure, it doesn't give great offence, but five levels of this class is basically immunity to attacks which require an attack roll. It's a Sorcerer PrC if I ever did see one. Total Defence (which, even with the minimum qualifying AC of 200 means his AC becomes 460 plus double Cha mod so in the region of 500-600 with no effort at al) and cast nothing but quickened spells. Adding the "unencumbered and no armour" restriction for all the class features helps, but still doesn't stop the fact that it's most useful for casters, who don't need their Full Round actions anyway.
Perhaps I could help to keep it out of certain hands by adding specific class features as prerequisites?
And even if giving out Cosmics to PrCs was okay, which it isn't, his ability list seems to contain a lot of stuff that's really off theme. Nullification, for instance, (which is also occupying the dubious honour of the only Cosmic ability better than most Transcendental abilities) is supposed to be for umbrals and other horrifying cosmic monstrosities, not people who are good at dodging. The natural armour boosting DvAs and Cosmics also seem cross-theme, since it's not about armour, and Unyielding damage reduction. They're about getting hit and shrugging it off, not not getting hit.
I assume 'Shunpo' is a custom DvA?
I agree with a lot of what you said. once again class was a prototype. Feedback appreciated. Adjustments will be made before finalization.
Shunpo is a custom DVA. Basically it allows you to move up to your base movement speed once per round as a swift, free, or immediate action. Regardless of which action type you use it as, it can still only be used once per round. It's sort of like quicken greater teleport for ninja. Shunpo is japanese for "flash step" iirc.