For those of you with ADHD: What paper character sheet format actually works for you?
I'm an ADHDer and my kid is an ADHDer. It's not a one-size fits all thing. Your player might just not be able to handle the complexity of the game or not handle being put on the spot well. There's lots of reasons why that might be the case. There's no need to assume ADHD.
Honestly, a better character sheet wouldn't matter. Lighter, less complex games with less stuff to keep track of is the answer.
TSR-era D&D and most OSR games work great as there's just less to keep track of. Something like Shadowdark, which is based on 5E but decidedly old school, would have a much simpler character and therefore be easier to play generally.
I played and loved 4E because most things came on little cards that could be used to keep track of things. All the maths were done in the character builder and you printed off the sheet with just the actual rules of the powers. That kind of physicality helps, too. Something like the upcoming Daggerheart with its card-based character creation and powers might be something to look at.
They could try not playing a complicated character with dozens of features and/or spells to keep track of. But that doesn't leave much in 2024 D&D.
The combat flowchart above is a good idea. Outside of the game sit down and talk over specific strategies and tactics and write it all up, no ambiguity, no maths left undone, all of it laid out in as little space and words as possible. Something like 4-6 standard actions with everything done and set ahead of time. Write those up on 3x5 cards. One thing on each card. Highlight the important bits, as in the stuff the player has to actually do in the moment. Once you pass 8-10 cards, the player is likely going to analysis paralysis out and you're back to square one. Color coding these, red for attack, green for heals, etc might help push the number of cards the player could handle.
Getting color-coded dice is a great trick. Any set that's made with each die as a distinct color different from the rest. It's so much easier to say "roll the orange one" than it is to watch as the player fumbles with picking out which funny die you mean and has to count the sides or find the highest face value. Buy a set online or pick up individual dice at a game store. Just as long as they're all clearly different colors. There's also special dice trays that have the die type listed. This works a treat as long as the dice end up back in the right spot in the tray.
If the style of play at your table is all about optimization and making the perfect tactical choice every round, you're likely never going to find a good solution. That kind of pressure almost always backfires. Everyone being cool with this player taking a moment and not pushing or pressuring or grumping about efficiency or optimization is likely the best possible starting point.
