All with the Devious & Underhanded Feats, I need your aid now!

[Vraille Darkfang]

Ok,

I've been sick for a week; hopped up on various cold medicines so my brain isn't working too good right now.

Basically I need help.

I need to put Amber in her place. I really, really, really am getting to dislike Amber a whole heck of a lot.

Not that I've ever met Amber. I don't even know if that is her real name (in fact, I'd guess not). I'd only have a 50-50 shot of picking her out a Line up of 2 (Unless the 2nd person was Richard Simmons).

But, I can tell you a few things about her.

1. She lives in the Columbus, Ohio area code.

2. She gives a lot of Guys her Cell Number...

Wait.

2. She gives a LOT of Guys her Fake Cell Number.

3. Guess whose Phone Number just happens to be the Exact Same one as her Fake Number?

If I get one more creepy, sleazy guy asking "Uh, is Amber there? I was wondering what she's doing tonight." I will...

Take enough Ny-Quil to sleep the entier night, barring a Tornado or Richard Simmons Running Naked through my house.

When I'm finally well again....

Columbus is 4 Freakin's States away.

Not ony am I getting Phone Calls from guys desperate for a booty call, I'm only getting those too stupid to realize the number is from 800 Miles away.

THe next time I jump up at 2 in the morning worried about what family crises is on folding to hear some drunk SOB talking about how Bleep he is and why don't Amber come over & Bleep with him....

Action is called for.

And I've got nothin'

The best I've come up with is "Yeah. Andrew's here. Oh, Amber. sure He's-... She's right here. Just a minute. (Calling into distance). Andrew, your boyfriends on the phone"

Despite the degree on inebriation often exhibited, this just ain't m best work.

See?

Nothing.

I need a list of witty comeback to feed to these Desperate, Gullible, Morons who keep calling.

Preferabbly ones that'll come in handy if the ever come face-to-face with Amber again.

And, when trying to think of sources of Devious, Snarky, Back-stabbing, Slanderous Ideas....

I realized I don't know nearly enough DM's.

So too the Multitude of ENWolrd:

Give me thine Ideas!

I'll check in the morning. RIght now I'm going to take enough Cold Medicine that Barney & Micheal Bolton sound really good. (Esp when Barney eats Michael around 3 AM or so)

 

[sedarfairy]

first of all...in your defense, amber needs to grow some and just tell guys...sorry, I"m not interested. A few of those guys are probably actually nice, albeit clueless men who don't deserve to be ridiculed by her.

If it were me I'd say, "this is Amber's brother. She just made a quick run to the emergency room. Her clap was acting up. Want me to tell her you called?" next time they run into her...which is going to happen as much as this girl seems to party...one of them is bound to ask how she is feeling. hehehe. if nothing else an Amber rumor is bound to happen.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Tell them that Amber is dead and to expect to be contacted by the Police who would like to speak with them about how they know her and what they were doing Saturday night around 3am.

Of course this may lead to more annoying phone calls later, as will any snarky response. I assume this is your land-line, not a cell phone? If it is a cell, set the ringtones to be different for family members and ignore the calls at 2am from non-family members. If it is a land line, I don't know what to tell you.

 

[werk]

By programming the telephone immediately after a nuisance call, you can block future calls from the same telephone number. They will hear the following recorded announcement in Japanese, "Kochira wa xx-xxxx-xxxx desu. Kono denwa wa ouke dekimasen. Goryosho kudasai." (This is xx-xxxx-xxxx. We're sorry, but your call cannot be connected.) "xx-xxxx-xxxx" is the telephone number of the subscriber for this service.

Hope that helps

 

[Lord Zardoz]

If you have the nerve for it, simply claim you are Amber, and talk dirty to them. Of course, if they go with it, things will get strange very fast.

I suggest simply changing your phone number. Its inconvenient, but probably simpler.

END COMMUNICATION

 

[Nyaricus]

If it were me I'd say, "this is Amber's brother. She just made a quick run to the emergency room. Her clap was acting up. Want me to tell her you called?" next time they run into her...which is going to happen as much as this girl seems to party...one of them is bound to ask how she is feeling. hehehe. if nothing else an Amber rumor is bound to happen.

I suggest simply changing your phone number. Its inconvenient, but probably simpler.

I was going to say both of the above, but they already said it for me.

If you just don't want the calls anymore, change your number. If you want to destroy her rep and get back at her (and if you are getting called by half of the guys she is giving your number out to, then you can imagine how many people she knows) say something along the lines of that sedarfairy said - that sort of news will spread fast.

cheers,
--N

 

[nick2]

I know that here when the phone number was changed because of getting repeated strange calls, there was no charge for the number change at least. Not the most satisfying solution, but better than getting annying calls at 2 in the morning. You could always tell the callers the truth, that she gives this number to guys she's blowing off, and I'm sure that it'll get back to her eventually.

 

[Crothian]

Set up dates with them with Amber. I can give you some local places that they can meet up with Amber.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Ummm.....who's Amber?

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

Set up dates with them with Amber. I can give you some local places that they can meet up with Amber.

I remembered someone here is from Columbus (I'm from Cedarville near Springfield originally).

That's what happens from too much Cold Medicine. (PS. When you take so much Cold Medicine that your imagine Micheal Bolton being Eaten by Barney, that's OK. When you take so much that they begin acting out scens from deliverence, with Barney filling in for Ned Beatty; you've taken too much).

1. I really don't won't to change my number. This has been my number for around 6 years. I still get calls out of the blue from Guys I lost track of years ago. I hope if I'm a big enough nuisance Amber'll get word & come up with some other number.

2. I have a lot of Family in the Columbus Area Code. That's where my Dad's family is from. Most of them are in their Late 70's to Mid-90's. Getting a call from an unknown Columbus Area code at 2 in the Morning, while not wanted, isn't exactly unforeseen. Eventually these calls are going to come in.

It's just worry about wiitch Elderly Relative in Failing Health is experiencing an Emergency quickly turns to Frustration when it some dude trying to get a date.


I think I'm going with the Gaming Angle. "Amber can't come to the phone, she's playing D&D right now."

If THAT gets back to Amber, I know she'll stop giving out my number.

PS. Crothian, you haven't called some girl's number in the last day or 2 & gotten some hacking, wheezing guy telling you where to stick your phone have you?