Alternate Universe Gen-Con 2011 Announcements

[Reynard]

Just for fun:

What crazy, never-going-to-happen-here company announcements could happen at a Gen-Con in a parallel universe.

(Let's go ahead and get, "Announcing D&D 5E for sale RIGHT NOW" and it';s relatives out of the way immediately.)

From FFG: Fantasy Flight Games has secured the rights to produce role-playing games on the Harry potter universe, starting with the Hogwarts First year Basic Set, available this holiday season for $120. New sets for each additional year will be made available every year for the next 7 years.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"The competition for the best "human" costume has been moved to room B-7, across from catering."

"Slots for Monte Cook's "Accountants Evolved" LARP game are still available- see the Info Desk for details."

"Keanu Reeves is telling the untold behind the scenes stories of how his performance in Dungeons and Dragons 4 won him a Best Actor Oscar in the 2nd floor solarium. Admission, $15."

 

[Pentius]

In recent news, Magic Girl RPGs have begun to outsell traditional fantasy fare. Paizo declares intent to begin producing Adventure Paths compatible with WotC's new hit seller, "Sailor Moon Go Go Magic Adventure Time". Previews are available at booth 6-B.

 

[Wiseblood]

"True Dungeon will be detailing their year round theme park grand opening."

Season tickets available in the vendor hall.

 

[Relique du Madde]

The results of the Dungeons and Dragons Reality TV Show's season 1 finale episode: The Tomb of Horrors. This two hour long event will reveal which of the 5 adventurers managed to escape from the Demi-Lich Acererak's tomb with the coveted title of "Dungeon Master." Will it be Back Stabbing Rogue? The faithful Cleric? The Fighter? The overpowered Mage? Or Druid-Zilla?

Who will survive?

Who will betray their cohorts in their quest for unlimited power?

Who will meet their unfortunate end.... FIRST?

Who will have an untimely change of heart which will dramatically affect the lives of our heroes?

The answers to these questions will shock you!

 

[Relique du Madde]

WotC's new hit seller, "Sailor Moon Go Go Magic Adventure Time".

Unfortunately.... someone already had that license and ran it to the ground. Unlikely anyone will ever purchase it again.

 

[catastrophic]

Outraged fans on the floor of the convention report that the new edition of Worlds & Warcraft is too much like the mega-smash hit mmo "Bacon Sandwich".

Meanwhile in the cafateria D&DLT's are selling out.

 

[MichaelSomething]

WOTC is proud to announce the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic RPG! Coming soon to store near you!

The thing is, I expect it would actually sell! At least to the Brony Army

 

[jonesy]

"TSR, Inc. is back and in charge! The mysterious leadership of the resurrected games publishing corporation has bought the rights to Dungeons & Dragons, World of Darkness and Warhammer, and plans to reveal the details of their new game, World War of Dragondarkness & Dungeonhammers."

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

White wolf releases Harry: the Pottering

WOTC announces all future player releases for D&D will be in the form of collectible card booster packs.

Gary Gygax returns from the grave to release Castle Greyhawk: Ultimate Edition.

WotC changes their name to TSR, and plans the release of the Greyhawk Campaign Setting.

The D&D license is sold to Paizo.

Forgotten Realms: Return to Shadowdale is released on Xbox 360 as a first-person shooter.

The Ultimate True Dungeon Challenge is a live event with a $10M purse for the winner. If your character dies in play, the player is executed.

Gladiator matches ever hour on the hour on the game floor -- live ones.

Kevin Siembieda announces Rifts: d20 -- with consistent and balanced game rules!

Hasbro announces the release of Nerf Call of Cthulhu.