An easy apocalypse....

[Sejs]

Caster: "I wish for 1,500 tons of Anti-Hydrogen to be placed at X location!"

Great Voice of the Void: "What's hydrogen?"

Caster: "It's this particle, you see.. one of the building blocks of matter.. a collection of sub-atomic units in a certain configuration can make any substance in existance. Hydrogen is one of the most simple configurations."

Great Voice of the Void: "Ah, ...alright. And what does this Hydrogen do, exactly?"

Caster: "Well, uh, it's two-thirds of what makes up water for instance. Two parts hydrogen to one part oxygen makes water."

Great Voice of the Void: "And oxygen being....?"

Caster: "Nevermind that right now. What I'm asking for is 1,500 tons of Anti-Hydrogen at X location."

Great Voice of the Void: "Right, right, I caught that the first time. So if Hydrogen is this particle as you say, then what's Anti-Hydrogen?"

Caster: "Anti-Hydrogen is the antithesis of Hydrogen, sort of like the opposite pole of a magnet but on a different scale. Hydrogen's components spin one way, Anti-Hydrogen's components spin the opposite way. And when they interact, they cancel eachother out!"

Great Voice of the Void: "OKay, so basically you said this hydrogen stuff makes water, right... and you want 1,500 tons of Not-Water. Sure pal - you can have as much Not-Water as you want. Pay your 5000exp and off you go."

Caster: "Great!" *pays his exp, finishes casting his spell*




*...nothing happens...*



Great Voice of the Void: *snickers to itself* "Yeah right, little flecks of stuff that water is made out of. Water. Tch, basic element of creation. I mean honestly... what are they teaching kids these days? First time I've had someone fork over their exp for nothing though, I must admit...



I mean who's ever heard of the Elemental Plane of Hydrogen?"

 

[Sejs]

Oh, and by the way - if you want to destroy the world it's way easier than casting Wish and asking for Anti-Hydrogen.


Decanter of Endless Water. 9,000 gp market cost.

Buy some, set them on 'high', then hide em somewhere and leave.

Repeat as necessary.

 

[Landak]

"I wish for as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."

3000 tons of annihilated matter wouldn't even light a typical star for a second anyway. Millions of tons per second is usual.

Er, no, 3000 tons of enegy *btw, the going market rate for pure energy is about $2.1 bn a second, a lb......* wouldnt, but apply 3000 tons of energy to the atmosphere, heating it to 1876000000000 c, making it a plasma, ionising, and vaporing most of the planet, into a plasma *Iron only vapourises at 5000 c* , with a small core. And besides, the planet wouldnt be a star, at least not in the technical sense, but give it a few thousand years, and let fusion take its bite........The planet would just be as hot as, and as bright as, a star..... And as for the micro-black hole thingy, for that, youd need about *gets out calculator................crap.............either 15 solar masses in 3 m, *about 6000000 tons* or with the max for wish, 15000 tons of DbUunUPLbH in 3nm................

Or a particle accelartor, simmilar to the LHC............

And a black hole would kilon contact, but it wouldnt sink towards the earth, the earth would be pushed towards it.....

OR you could work the maths to mean that the black hole has just enough umph to suck up your enemy, then dissapate in a puff of hawking radation.......

 

[Landak]

Caster: "I wish for 1,500 tons of Anti-Hydrogen to be placed at X location!"

Great Voice of the Void: "What's hydrogen?"

Caster: "It's this particle, you see.. one of the building blocks of matter.. a collection of sub-atomic units in a certain configuration can make any substance in existance. Hydrogen is one of the most simple configurations."

Great Voice of the Void: "Ah, ...alright. And what does this Hydrogen do, exactly?"

Caster: "Well, uh, it's two-thirds of what makes up water for instance. Two parts hydrogen to one part oxygen makes water."

Great Voice of the Void: "And oxygen being....?"

Caster: "Nevermind that right now. What I'm asking for is 1,500 tons of Anti-Hydrogen at X location."

Great Voice of the Void: "Right, right, I caught that the first time. So if Hydrogen is this particle as you say, then what's Anti-Hydrogen?"

Caster: "Anti-Hydrogen is the antithesis of Hydrogen, sort of like the opposite pole of a magnet but on a different scale. Hydrogen's components spin one way, Anti-Hydrogen's components spin the opposite way. And when they interact, they cancel eachother out!"

Great Voice of the Void: "OKay, so basically you said this hydrogen stuff makes water, right... and you want 1,500 tons of Not-Water. Sure pal - you can have as much Not-Water as you want. Pay your 5000exp and off you go."

Caster: "Great!" *pays his exp, finishes casting his spell*




*...nothing happens...*



Great Voice of the Void: *snickers to itself* "Yeah right, little flecks of stuff that water is made out of. Water. Tch, basic element of creation. I mean honestly... what are they teaching kids these days? First time I've had someone fork over their exp for nothing though, I must admit...



I mean who's ever heard of the Elemental Plane of Hydrogen?"

ROLF, that is how id respond if i dmed a greedy player who asked this..

 

[Saeviomagy]

Unfortunately, none of this is possible.

The direct wording for wish is that you can "Create a valuable item, even a magic item, of up to 15,000 gp in value."

Unfortunatley that rules out wishing for an infinite number of clubs or an infinite number of slings with which to flood the entire universe (clubs and slings have a listed price of zero).

Oh, and:

ROLF, that is how id respond if i dmed a greedy player who asked this..

Your floor laughs??

 

[Grog]

Unfortunately, none of this is possible.

The direct wording for wish is that you can "Create a valuable item, even a magic item, of up to 15,000 gp in value."

Unfortunatley that rules out wishing for an infinite number of clubs or an infinite number of slings with which to flood the entire universe (clubs and slings have a listed price of zero).

Then just wish for a big block of stone. You could probably get several tons of stone for 15,000 gp. Drop that on the target from a mile or so up. And cast a wall of force underneath them first, so that they absorb the entire force of the block landing on them (they'd probably get pushed into the ground otherwise).

 

[Jeph]

Unfortunately, none of this is possible.

The direct wording for wish is that you can "Create a valuable item, even a magic item, of up to 15,000 gp in value."

Unfortunatley that rules out wishing for an infinite number of clubs or an infinite number of slings with which to flood the entire universe (clubs and slings have a listed price of zero).

How about wishing for one HUGE "shipment of lumber"?

 

[Umbran]

Here's an interesting little idea: Wish for as many tons as you can of wood or stone or chickens, for all I care, in a space the size of a needlepoint directly above the villain's head. Instant micro-black hole, I would imagine. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) This plummets through the target's body, with awesome penetrative abilities, and causes massive trauma as it sucks up more matter. Horrible, horrible things happen in the core of the planet thereafter, but another Wish should take care of that before more than a few million tons of magma go missing.

Okay, I'll correct you where you're wrong...

Let's say you make this micro black hole, let us also assume that it's stable, large enough so that it doesn't die a death of Hawking Radiation. MInd you, it's smaller than a needlepoint - to make the Earth a black hole, you gotta squish it down into the size of a grape. A few measly tons will have to be squished down to smaller sizes than we normally comprehend. But I digress.

The thing does plummet through the target's body, with awesome penetrative power. However, it does not cause massive trauma. It only sucks up as much matter as it actually contacts - which in this case is a cylinder the diameter of a needlepoint through the target's body. Which is, truth be told, not at all a problem. It's a pinprick, nothing more.

One might argue that it causes tidal damage as it passes through the body. However, given that you've only got on the order of some tons of material, I doubt tides are an issue.

None of this is new, btw. Larry Niven addressed the possibility of killing a person by dropping a black hole though him in one of his short stories ("The Hole Man", found in his collection, A Hole in Space). For what happens to the planet after letting this thing drop into the core, please see David Brin's book, Earth.

 

[s/LaSH]

For the sake of absurdity...

OK, a black hole doesn't work on that scale. How about a plug of neutronium (neutron star material - dense to the point of having no atomic structure)? It'd be kinda like Willow's talk with Warren in the woods at the end of Buffy season 6, if you know what I mean.

Y'know, so long as we're discussing things like antihydrogen or megalumber.

 

[Jeph]

megalumber

Words in English language=words+1.