Announcing ignore lists

[Sacrosanct]

It’s pretty been the unwritten rule that when putting someone on ignore, you didn’t need to announce it. You just put them in ignore, and moved on.
However, with this new forum coding, putting someone on ignore still means they see your posts and continue to quote you. You don’t see those quotes, so it’s like they are having a conversation in the ether, and other people may get the impression that you’re being a jerk because you keep refusing to answer their questions of you because they don’t know you’ve ignored them either.

So with the way the forums work, is there legitimate value in letting someone know you’ve placed them on ignore? I know that doesn’t always help (I’ve had someone who knows I’ve put them on ignore continue to send me PMs and quote my posts all the time, arguing with me knowing I never reply and don’t see them). But in the larger group, letting someone know they have been put on ignore might save them the time of keep quoting you.

 

[Umbran]

So with the way the forums work, is there legitimate value in letting someone know you’ve placed them on ignore?

If you have gone to the point of putting someone on ignore, you have likely already proven that you don't get along well at all. Letting them know about it probably isn't going to end well, largely because nothing between you has been ending well.

However, with this new forum coding, putting someone on ignore still means they see your posts and continue to quote you. You don’t see those quotes, so it’s like they are having a conversation in the ether, and other people may get the impression that you’re being a jerk because you keep refusing to answer their questions of you because they don’t know you’ve ignored them either.

If someone feels entitled to a response from you, they probably already don't have a high opinion of you (see the fact that you don't get along), so the cold shoulder probably isn't going to really change anything. They'll probably eventually get that you don't respond to them, and wander off in search of someone who will engage.

And, as for third parties... who does that? Who keeps a spreadsheet of who is and isn't responding to whom, and assigning character flaws based on it? That's some really obsessive, toxic stuff, there. If you find someone who does that, please let us know because someone needs to have a chat with them about pleasant conversations on websites...

The general rule is that you don't announce it publicly, because it amounts to an ad hominem argument - "You are personally so bad I will no longer listen to you... and neither should anyone else!"

If you really want to inform someone in private, by PM, you can try it. Maybe, sometimes, that'll end in a discussion about how they didn't realize how they came across to you, and that'd be helpful. But generally.. be prepared for it to be an angry rebuff.

In the end, the ignore list isn't about changing their behavior. It is about controlling your own experience.

 

[Sacrosanct]

Most of the people on my ignore list I don’t have a personal problem with. There are many reasons why someone puts another on an ignore list.

 

[Morrus]

It’s just getting the last word in and then leaving. No need for it.

I get the temptation of the parting blow; there are people I put on ignore just to keep my sanity. It’s hard to resist the temptation, but no good has ever come of it.

 

[Morrus]

In the end, the ignore list isn't about changing their behavior. It is about controlling your own experience.

Perfect summary.

 

[Bawylie]

I don’t keep track of who ignores whom. And I don’t think it’s rude if someone doesn’t respond.

Forum enables communication; doesn’t mandate it.

Free association is best.

 

[Deset Gled]

It’s just getting the last word in and then leaving. No need for it.

I get the temptation of the parting blow; there are people I put on ignore just to keep my sanity. It’s hard to resist the temptation, but no good has ever come of it.

That's actually the reason why I don't like new policy allowing a poster to ask someone not to respond to them (talked about in this thread: Ignore?). To me, it just feels like a way to make the last jab, now enforceable by mods.

 

[billd91]

That's actually the reason why I don't like new policy allowing a poster to ask someone not to respond to them (talked about in this thread: Ignore?). To me, it just feels like a way to make the last jab, now enforceable by mods.

Yeah, that just seem to call attention to it. "I'm ignoring yew!"

 

[R_J_K75]

Theres been threads Ive participated in/read that just degenerate into arguments. Ive been tempted more than once to really let lose but chose it best not to and just ignored the thread, stopped posting on it and unwatched it. No ignore button necessary I just move on with my life.

 

[Umbran]

That's actually the reason why I don't like new policy allowing a poster to ask someone not to respond to them (talked about in this thread: Ignore?). To me, it just feels like a way to make the last jab, now enforceable by mods.

Given that, since the day I said I'd be trying the policy, not a single person has asked for it, I don't see as there's much problem.