Are gamers really that pathetic?

[aurance]

Demonstration that I had an active life, and am not living in a basement or under a bridge somewhere.

Thanks. What I said was uncalled for.


Actually, it wasn't my life story. It was pointing out that I'm not exactly your stereotypical gamer...

As far as the rest, eh, I like to ramble.

I respect you. Not because of your points (I've no opinion on this entire subject), but because of the way you handle criticism.

 

[Sado]

i guess that's in general how i see life. too much work for too little reward. life requires way too much effort, and there's not enough good things about life to make it feel like it's worth all the work.

Wow, you have put into words what has been an underlying source of irritation and frustration to me for years. I don't have any solid advice on dealing with it, but thanks for helping spell it out at least.

Of course for me its not so bad, since I'm happiest when I have something to complain about (don't ask me...).

 

[WizarDru]

as far as how i dress, i want someone who wants the real me, not some fake person i'm pretending to be. what it seems is that the real me is someone who girls aren't attracted to, at least not the kind of girls i'm attracted to.

as far as jogging and situps, they cost time spent doing something i don't enjoy as well as more importantly, discomfort. in order to make myself do something like that and stick to it for more than like a day or two, i would need some kind of IMMEDIATE gain to make it feel worth the effort.

i guess that's in general how i see life. too much work for too little reward. life requires way too much effort, and there's not enough good things about life to make it feel like it's worth all the work.

So you don't intend to work for a living, then? Because I've yet to meet a legal employer who pays you immediately for work you do. You're setting yourself up for failure. You didn't get overweight overnight, and you don't shed pounds any faster. You'll find your energy increases fairly quickly from regular exercise...and you don't need to exercise so heavily that you experience discomfort. The 'no pain, no gain' philosophy is something hardcore weightlifters ascribe to...those interested in simply improving their health don't have to. Simply taking a long walk EVERY DAY and reducing your food intake will do wonders. And here's a bulletin...when you get older, you're going to find that you're going to suffer further health problems if you don't correct those problems.

As for dressing 'fake'...well, is your personal identity entirely defined by wearing a specific set of clothes? No one's saying to wear different clothes, necessarily...but if you wear the same shirt three days in a row, and wash it once a month, don't be suprised if people don't want to hang around you. Your choice of clothes can also broadcast things about you. If you always look like you just tossed something on that you found lying under your bed, you project an image and you make a statement about yourself. That's your choice: but I think it's more than a little unfair to claim that the world has a conspiracy against you, just because you don't like the realities of human interaction.

Look at it this way: you don't want to be someone who you aren't...but right now, who you are is a fundementally unhappy person who's depressed, overweight, feels ostracized and alone. No one's saying to act falsely or not be yourself...but I think you need to consider that you need to change parts of your life, if you want to improve your overall situation.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Hidu- a confession of my own.

I, too, am a virgin, and I'm going to be 37 in a month. A friend of mine who works for a famous "men's magazine" didn't lose hers until she was in her 30's.

My reasons have are multifold- I am excruciatingly shy, so I know how you feel. I also have a bit of a weight problem. My bad luck for asking out women who are either lesbians or have boyfreinds is LEGENDARY in my social circle. Part of it has to do with my faith (Catholic).

However, I've also had some opportunities that I passed up because I have a modicum of self-respect.

As for my friend, her decision was ALL about personal choice.

I say all of this because I'm trying to let you know that being a virgin isn't a death sentence or cause for depression.

But the big picture comes down to this- if you are unhappy about the way you are, you must either change yourself or change your surroundings to find those who accept you for who you are. Otherwise, NOTHING will change for you and you will continue to be unhappy.

And those changes will take time.

 

[Rel]

Here's the thing (Ok, maybe not THE thing, but A thing anyway, and an important one): If you are a basically decent human being then I figure that you deserve to be loved. There are all sorts of scumbags out there who manage to find people to love them. So if you're above the level of the average scumbag, you probably deserve love too.

Now you may not think you deserve to be loved by someone, but you're wrong. You know there are good things about you that somebody might like to share in and be a part of. And you have the capacity to love those good things in them. But the kicker is, as Clint Eastwood once said in a movie, "'Deserve' ain't got nothin' to do with it."

So that brings us to this: You can't win the game of love if you don't play. You may not play well. You may not play often. You may not play long. I have known people who did not play well, often or long. They found people to love and to love them. But if you don't play at all, then you ain't gonna' win. Period.

You think it is painful to go up and talk to someone? Or ask them to dance? Or see if they want a cup of coffee? Of course it is. The world is absolutely stacked to the ceiling with people who do it all the time and it sucks when they get rejected. It hurts and they feel terrible and for a while they hate that they feel like they have to play the game at all. Then they go do it again.

And the reason is very very simple. It is because love is the best thing in the world. And when you find it, you'll thank whatever powers you believe in that you found the strength to go through the sucky pain of rejection all those times because it is just that great. Nothing in this world is more worth living for than love.

You'll never be sorry that you went after it and you'll always be sorry if you don't.

Good luck.

 

[WizarDru]

And the reason is very very simple. It is because love is the best thing in the world. And when you find it, you'll thank whatever powers you believe in that you found the strength to go through the sucky pain of rejection all those times because it is just that great. Nothing in this world is more worth living for than love.

W0rd.

 

[Hida Bukkorosu]

well, here's another problem that comes up...

i make the effort to shave and bathe and all that stuff... but then by the time i finish, it's too late to go to class, so i don't end up being around girls at all that day... plus i miss class...

as far as the risk, my big fear is that the girl will think i'm some kind of a creepy psycho or something and sue me for sexual harassment. so there's a lot more at stake than just embarrasment...

 

[Rel]

well, here's another problem that comes up...

i make the effort to shave and bathe and all that stuff... but then by the time i finish, it's too late to go to class, so i don't end up being around girls at all that day... plus i miss class...

as far as the risk, my big fear is that the girl will think i'm some kind of a creepy psycho or something and sue me for sexual harassment. so there's a lot more at stake than just embarrasment...

If you want to find reasons NOT to put yourself out there in contact with the opposite sex, I think you can probably do better than those. You're a gamer, man. Get creative.

How about, "Well, she might be a Doppelganger or Succubus in disguise and just be waiting to bite off my junk and stuff."

I mean seriously, "it's too late to go to class?" Does your alarm clock not have a setting that's an extra half hour (at the most) earlier? And the sexual harassment thing is easily circumvented by simply walking away the first time a girl says she's not interested.

I'm not trying to piss you off or anything, but these are WEAK excuses.

Let me tell you a quick little story about a guy I went to high school with. We'll call him Steve (cause that's his name). One day at lunch, I heard a girl I knew saying to a friend that Steve had asked her out. The friend replied something along the lines of "Ew." Steve was not regarded as a great catch by the majority of the females I went to high school with.

A couple days later, I heard another girl say to a friend that Steve had asked her out. The friend replied incredulously, "You're kidding! He asked me out too just yesterday! What a loser!" I couldn't agree more at the time. What a collossal jackass he was for taking this shotgun approach to getting a date. Over the next few days I heard of at least three more girls that Steve had asked out within two weeks time. Loooozuuuur!

Except you know who the real loser was? Me. Because I was sitting around dateless for months at a time because I was too scared to ask a girl out unless I was ABSOLUTELY sure she would say yes. I would tap-dance around the issue for weeks before asking and she'd say, "Sure. I've been waiting forever for you to ask." When I think back on all the dates I could have had if only I'd asked, well, it's enough to make a grown man cry.

Steve had himself a girlfriend within a month or so. She wasn't the prettiest girl in school (although she was a lot nicer looking that I'd have thought he could have landed) but she really liked him. They were constantly all over each other and they dated through the rest of high school. Hell, they may be married now for all I know.

Steve may have been the smartest person in our whole graduating class. Because he "got it". He understood the quintessential truth of dating for guys and it is this: Life is short and so is the period of humiliation that follows the word "No" escaping the lips of a woman.

It's your choice. But just stop pretending that anything besides you is holding you back. And so what if you fail. You think that everybody who is posting in this thread that's happily married with 2.4 kids got told "yes, I'd love to" the first time they asked somebody out? I failed MANY times. Sometimes spectacularly. Sometimes LEGENDARILY (do me a favor and DON'T ask my friends about the "Tector Incident"). But I was still proud that I made the attempt and that the failure didn't destroy me.

As the lovely Allison Krause sings, "The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing."

PLAY!

 

[Bagpuss]

And the reason is very very simple. It is because love is the best thing in the world. And when you find it, you'll thank whatever powers you believe in that you found the strength to go through the sucky pain of rejection all those times because it is just that great. Nothing in this world is more worth living for than love.

Until the thing you love dumps you, and sleeps with your best friend (Not necessary in that order).

 

[FLA]

A lot of people that were described here could possibly have Asperger's Syndrome-a condition were their intelectual capabilites are heightened at the cost of social skills.That's why some nerd who were the brightest students find themselfs working at McDonalds-they just aren't able to get to know social norms present social groups as well as typical people.