That's a whole lot of objection to the
raise dead thing, especially when the question is asked about the diamonds, the answer is that Daddy is the local squire and already has the diamonds himself. Simples!
As I've said before, it is simply impossible for a player to create a detailed backstory that doesn't involve parts of the DM's world, whether it be people, locations or events. Therefore it is absurd to ban any backstory purely on the grounds that the player has mentioned NPCs, locations and/or events in the DMs world and 'trodden on his toes'.
It's also absurd to view the player having total control of the DM's world for backstory purposes.
Either extreme is absurd. It's a spectrum between 'total DM control' and 'total player control'. But where on that spectrum
should the balance be when a player creates a character for a DM's campaign? Well, YMMV.
But in my opinion and experience, what happens is that the player creates a background consistent (or not
inconsistent) with the information they have on the game world. They, at some point during this process, talk to the DM about the backstory. At this point the DM contributes. They may accept it whole cloth with no changes. They may not care much (do what you like, you start in the same tavern as everyone else!), they may think your idea is so cool that they get great story ideas of their own leading on from what you told them (like my DM did with my part werewolf PC re: the Fiendish patron). And they may say "No way in the Nine Hecks it
that going to fly!" But if it's the latter, there should be a coherent reason for the objection, and some conversation should be had to fix what's wrong. It should not simply be "the world is MY domain and you don't have permission to make anything up about it at all!", because as I've mentioned it is simply not possible to write a backstory that does
not add some element of people/places/events!
As a further illustrative example of where I think the balance point lies on the spectrum of 'total DM purview' to 'total player purview' re: backstories, my newest PC:-
The DM tells us that although the Dragon Drop campaign intends to take us from 1st to 20th level (we have just reached 9th, I'm Bar 3/War 6 now), so far they have only published adventures up to level 12. They will stop there, take time to write and publish the world in which the Dragon Drop takes place, and then resume writing and publishing adventures from 13th to 20th level after that.
Which means after we play the 12th level adventure there might not be an adventure to play for a while. The solution? "Make a 5th level PC each, set in the same world, and I'll take you to 8th level. By that time the new Dragon Drop adventure should be out".
Great! Another chance to try one of my many ideas! I don't know about you guys, but I usually have many more character ideas than I have campaigns in which to play them!
My new PC is a Noble background Sun elf Rog (swashbuckler) 3/ Wiz (bladesinger) 2. The genesis of this idea is the Bladesong ability, a fighting style...used by wizards? So, my idea is to have a dedicated fencer/duellist who has Bladesong to be a better duellist,
not to be a better wizard!
To that end her spellbook will be full of rituals and a few spells that will help her be more effective in melee. No blasting, no
fireballs, no mind control. Just
mage armour/shield/feather fall/absorb elements/grease/protection from evil and good, plus rituals for utility. If I hit Wiz 3 I'll take
blur. Cantrips are
booming blade/green-flame blade/mending/prestidigitation.
As to the noble background I'm imagining the youngest daughter of a powerful eleven noble. Her
family is wealthy and powerful, but
she is not! While at home she has servants and Daddy's credit card (or the fantasy equivalent), but when she runs away from home to be an adventurer she does so with nothing but....the starting equipment as per the PHB/DMG for a 5th level PC.
Yes, I'll work with the DM about the noble family. I have a name for them, what they do (magic and combat, hence the family Bladesong tradition), a name for the Bladesong style, and so on and so forth (I told you it takes me two weeks minimum!).
Now, the DM can object to any of the
details I've set forth if he wanted to. I'll be entirely happy to work with him to adapt this background as needed to better fit his world, but to be honest I expect him to let it through on the nod; there just isn't an established world to mess up! He cannot legitimately object to my class/race/background/spells etc. because he's already said that we can choose our own. He would have to go back on his word to do so, and why would he?
But, to illustrate the balance point, there
is a background idea that I really do need the DM's permission for, and if he says no then I'll be totally okay about it:-
My idea is that her first character level was Rog 1. She met this human swashbuckler/duellist when they were both young (he was 17, she was maybe 60 or 80). She was fascinated with the whole sub-culture, and wanted to be like them. She picked up the skills that would lead her to be a 1st level rogue. But then she was packed off to wizard/Bladesong school for...decades! The decades elves think their children need to learn their skills before they become adults sometime after they hit the century mark.
When she gets back, she will be 117 years old, an adult, and be a Rog 1/Wiz 2 (Bladesinger). Meanwhile, the human friend (boyfriend? Don't tell her Dad!) is now middle-aged and high level; a great mentor (he gets her to Rog 3 Swashbuckler) but not a suitable boyfriend or party member.
All that's in my purview. The DM
could object in theory, but I'd be astonished if there was anything there to ban in the fluff. The part that I feel I need his permission for is my idea that her decades of training took place in the Feywild, and that the time differences mean that although the human thought she was gone for 20 years or so, she was actually in the Feywild for 40 to 50 years!
I need permission firstly because the rate of time passing in each plane might not be that ratio, or it might be the other way round so that 1 year in the Feywild takes 10 years on the Prime Material, so that idea won't work. Secondly, the DM mentioned that the adventure he has in mind is set in the Feywild!
Now, the Feywild is a big place! If the DM thinks it would be a good idea for one of the party to know something about the Feywild, or even know some of the principle NPCs, this would help him. If that's not what he wants then the Feywild is a big enough place that I could have spent decades in part of it without coming into contact with any part of the people/places/events of the adventure. But he might very well not want any PC to have any previous Feywild experience at all. If so, I will totally respect that. That
is in the DM's purview, because it might mess with his adventure, while the other parts of my backstory just don't. If he objects, I'll just have her train for decades elsewhere on the Prime Material and not bother with the time dilation angle.
Can you see the difference?