Then don't play DnD - or ask WotC to give you "The Laws Of Metaphysics" as a book (as an asside I would love this book, as I do theoretical physics research as a job and would love a look at how Metaphysics could be defined).
Realism without definable Laws of Reality is impossible. Magical effects break the Laws of Physics but are still considered REAL in DnD. So if you want realism you need the laws that magic doesn't break.
As for the "Appears to attack two things at once", Nightcrawler appeared to do this constantly (in the comics, and the movie to a lesser degree). It involved swinging his leg, and as he connected with it teleporting so the followthrough connected with someone else. But that hardly stops him 'attacking' two patches of air with the same trick.
I would definately want my SM doing this in the Nightcrawler method. A big upswing on one guy, port in the middle as I rotate my body and bring my sword down on the other side (now occupied by another person as I ported appropriately). Nothing in this 'fluff' stops me having swung at nothing. Even you called it attacking two 'things'. Air is a thing.
