Axioms of D&D

[DM with a vengence]

Everybody knows that eventually, the party (or the DM) will try something stupid, something so moronic that it will go down in the annals of RPG history, so with that thought in mind, I'll add these gems of wisdom I've gleaned from the actions of various PCs over the years. Feel free to add your own.

1) If it can be killed, they will try (and often die).

2) When in doubt, burn.

3) Everyone dies, usually a few times a session.

 

[Fade]

4) All the stupidest plans involve Alchemist's Fire.

 

[Corinth]

Recurring villains recur only if they slaughter the heroes in their first appearance. Otherwise, any villain that comes into the heroes' view will die.

 

[omedon]

Unless you are uber powerful, attempting to turn a lich will just make him mad.

 

[Akunin]

Not D&D Specific, but it applies to D&D

Akunin's First Axiom of the Undead
Any form of entertainment may be improved upon through the inclusion of Zombies.

 

[Dougal DeKree]

Law

Dougals recurring law:

The more stupid the plan is, the higher the chances are the group is likely to survive.

 

[nameless]

If the peasant boy working for the bad guy tries to converse with the PCs, he's that bad guy's boss. Run.

-nameless

 

[Kamard]

Rule # 1:

Any plan requiring the cleric to speak is going to be a disaster.

Rule # 2:

Same goes for everyone else, especially the cleric.

Rule # 3:

Dwarves don't float.

 

[Akunin]

The 50/75/100 Axiom
50% of Half-Fiends have wings, as do 75% of Half-Celestials. Ergo, 100% of PC Half-Fiends and Half-Celestials have wings.

 

[Nareau]

The rule in my RttToEE campaign

If an NPC has a name, kill him.