BADK: Bothered about Disposable Kobolds

[Zander]

Re: kobold quissene

rotissreie kobold:
for this recipe you need the following:
1 flame pit
1 large skewer
1 kobold
bbq sauce

directions:
thoroughly wash then skin the kobold
ream it with the skewer, be sure to punch it through its skull for best results
set over a flame pit and slowly turn while adding the bbq sauce
roast until done.

Pfff! That's so amateurish. Professionals don't skin or skewer them. Follow these directions for that fancy restaurant taste:

Chain living kobold securely to skewer.
Roast alive over a high heat/low flame.
Stick fork in. If kobold squeals, it's underdone.
Stick fork in again just for good measure. Roast some more.
Serve kobold half-cooked, while it's still twitching.

There's a French variation of this recipe called kobolde attaché in which you tie the kobold to the skewer with its own tail. I don't recommend it, however, as the tail sometimes burns through letting kobold fall into the flame pit.

 

[caudor]

"Supposed to be disposable?" What's up with that?

Just because in previous editions kobolds couldn't take character levels doesn't mean they're still pushovers! I mean, c'mon. I thought we evolved past that.

It may not be an evolution in game play, but those fine Kobold recipes are a revolution in fine cuisine. Kobold biscuits, Kobold on a stick, fried Kobold with mustard...you name it.

At times, Kobolds do offer a challenge. Ask any dragon, a Kobold can be a real pain when they get stuck in the teeth. They give Hags real grief with their dentures as well. Even a bugbear will get jeered by his fellows if he doesn't add a kobold or two in the stew pot for that added flavor.

However, when not cooked properly Kobolds can be as tough as nails. (dwarves are famous for making kobold jerkey)

Yes, not all Kobolds are created equal. I think Bo Pilgrim puts it best...

Bo Pilgrim: "I just won't sell a fat, yellow Kobold."

 

[Nifft]

K.O.W.T.O.W.

Kobolds Organized Will Take Over World


Yip-yip, -- Nifft

 

[Buttercup]

You know, sooner or later Meepo is going to show up in this thread, and boy is he going to be upset.

 

[Mouseferatu]

"Supposed to be disposable?" What's up with that?

IMC kobolds are treated like any PHB race. A group of 6 kobolds could very well be an adventuring party just like the PCs. The same with any of the goblinoid-ish critters. I see no reason to pull them "as-is" out of the MM.

Just because in previous editions kobolds couldn't take character levels doesn't mean they're still pushovers! I mean, c'mon. I thought we evolved past that.

Oh trust me, some of us have.

 

[caudor]

Oh trust me, some of us have.

Oh cool!...that will be a MUST buy!

 

[Sam]

Oh trust me, some of us have.

Sure, just after I commit to my group to run them through RtToEE, they come out with the perfect mod!

 

[Buttercup]

Oh trust me, some of us have.

Oh, man. I sooo have to have this.

 

[MeepoTheMighty]

You're all savages.

 

[davewoodrum]

Actually, I had something similiar to this back in high school that I believe I simply titled "Save The Hedge Lizard". This was during my Bard's Tale 3 playing days and I was not only sick of having to encounter yet another hedge lizard with a mere couple of hit points but also rather sorry that these little critters had to constantly die like that.
I was going to make buttons up and everything until I suddenly realized that I was the only one that cared and most people had already grown bored with the game.