Banning a Player from my Group. Am I Justified?

[KingCrab]

I was wondering if as a DM, my actions were justified in this situation. I also probably need to vent.

One of the players in my current game has not been happy with the edition I’m running. He used to play 2ed with me back in high school (15 or so years ago). I started gaming again a year ago and began a campaign using the 3.5ed rules. This player refuses to get or read anything from the 3.5ed player’s handbook (often complaining that he still has his perfectly good 2ed player’s guide on his shelf at home.) Over the last several sessions he’s made me really angry because he always stops the game to arguing about rules he doesn’t understand. Though he likes to argue, he refuses to read anything about the edition we are playing.

Last session I was running a battle, and the enemy NPC was down to half hp. On the NPC’s turn I said “The NPC is going to try to tumble away.” My player, who has never read the PHB description of tumble before raises his voice and says “He can’t do that because I have tumble and I can stop him.” Keep in mind it is the NPC’s action in the initiative sequence, not the player’s.

Here’s where I made my mistake. Instead of arguing with him I decided to try to avoid the argument and said, “Fine, I withdraw instead.” However, because of the positioning on the board, the NPC would still have to pass out of one other threatened square. The problem player did not notice this, however one of my helpful players did. I immediately agreed, so I said “Okay, he wouldn’t do that. Show me why he can’t tumble.”

I handed the problem player the PHB and turned it to the page on tumble. He couldn’t find any reason the NPC couldn’t tumble so he says, “You can’t take back that action because you already said that you were withdrawing.” At this point I had not yet moved the miniature or rolled any dice so there was no move for me to take back. Also, I initially said that the NPC tumbled so if I’m not allowed to take back actions, then the NPC would be forced to tumble anyhow. Either way it ends up being a tumble.

The player kept arguing that it would be unfair for me to allow the NPC to tumble so after a heated argument, I picked up my screen and left. End of game.

Am I justified in kicking him out of the campaign? He slows down the game a lot and the other players all said they would continue the game without him. I really don’t look forward to sessions with this player anymore and a hobby that used to be fun has become a horrible chore. The player did go to high school with me, but we haven’t been close for a long time now and I don't think I can deal with the constant arguing while I'm trying to run a game.

 

[Jim Hague]

Apply the boot. Gaming time is precious, and while I think you could have handled the situation better, the player is question is being a complete ass. You don't need to play with someone that makes it not fun.

 

[Wolfspider]

I was wondering if as a DM, my actions were justified in this situation. I also probably need to vent.

One of the players in my current game has not been happy with the edition I’m running. He used to play 2ed with me back in high school (15 or so years ago). I started gaming again a year ago and began a campaign using the 3.5ed rules. This player refuses to get or read anything from the 3.5ed player’s handbook (often complaining that he still has his perfectly good 2ed player’s guide on his shelf at home.) Over the last several sessions he’s made me really angry because he always stops the game to arguing about rules he doesn’t understand. Though he likes to argue, he refuses to read anything about the edition we are playing.

Last session I was running a battle, and the enemy NPC was down to half hp. On the NPC’s turn I said “The NPC is going to try to tumble away.” My player, who has never read the PHB description of tumble before raises his voice and says “He can’t do that because I have tumble and I can stop him.” Keep in mind it is the NPC’s action in the initiative sequence, not the player’s.

Here’s where I made my mistake. Instead of arguing with him I decided to try to avoid the argument and said, “Fine, I withdraw instead.” However, because of the positioning on the board, the NPC would still have to pass out of one other threatened square. The problem player did not notice this, however one of my helpful players did. I immediately agreed, so I said “Okay, he wouldn’t do that. Show me why he can’t tumble.”

I handed the problem player the PHB and turned it to the page on tumble. He couldn’t find any reason the NPC couldn’t tumble so he says, “You can’t take back that action because you already said that you were withdrawing.” At this point I had not yet moved the miniature or rolled any dice so there was no move for me to take back. Also, I initially said that the NPC tumbled so if I’m not allowed to take back actions, then the NPC would be forced to tumble anyhow. Either way it ends up being a tumble.

The player kept arguing that it would be unfair for me to allow the NPC to tumble so after a heated argument, I picked up my screen and left. End of game.

Am I justified in kicking him out of the campaign? He slows down the game a lot and the other players all said they would continue the game without him. I really don’t look forward to sessions with this player anymore and a hobby that used to be fun has become a horrible chore. The player did go to high school with me, but we haven’t been close for a long time now and I don't think I can deal with the constant arguing while I'm trying to run a game.

Yes.

Next time, however, someone puts you in a position like that, don't take your ball and go home. That just hurts you and the good players. Instead, ask the player to leave. Also, try not to get into heated arguments. They never get resolved to anyone's satisfaction, trust me.

 

[Pyrex]

D&D is a game.

If someone is not having fun, something needs to change.

Sounds to me like you and the rest of your players would be happier w/o him.

Asking him to shape up (which it sounds like you've already done) or ship out (which it sounds like it's time for) is not unreasonable.

 

[Sol.Dragonheart]

If you consider this person a friend, and mature, (consider him outside of the gaming realm, to really define this), sit down and talk it over with him before you take any further action. Note that his actions up to this point, and in particular the last session, have been petty, childish, and selfish, and that you would like to have this resolved so everyone can have the most fun possible when playing the game.

If you don't think that's possible, I would certainly remove him from the group. I think it would be fair to explain why, and maybe in the future he'll realize acting immaturely is not the answer to a disagreeable situation.

 

[Peni Griffin]

Why are you asking for our approval? You know what you need to do. You're the only one who can know, and you've already decided.

Now, if you're omitting the information that he called you up later, apologized, said he didn't realize it was bugging you so much, and promises to do better, that'd be different.

Odds are, at this point, that he doesn't want to come back anyway. And dropping him from the game doesn't have to mean dropping him from the rest of your life if you still get along when you run into each other at the corner store or still enjoying catching the midnight movie together. Relax and stop making things harder on yourself. This isn't high school, where you have to make everything complicated to keep the drama level up.

 

[Rhun]

Kick him to the curb. I would, and I wouldn't feel bad about it either. He is obviously a disruptive presence.

 

[sniffles]

If you consider this person a friend, and mature, (consider him outside of the gaming realm, to really define this), sit down and talk it over with him before you take any further action. Note that his actions up to this point, and in particular the last session, have been petty, childish, and selfish, and that you would like to have this resolved so everyone can have the most fun possible when playing the game.

If you do have a conversation with him, I would recommend that you not refer to his behavior as petty, childish, or selfish. Using those terms is likely to put him on the defensive and make him feel insulted, which won't help to keep a calm, mature discussion going.

 

[Doug McCrae]

I really don’t look forward to sessions with this player anymore and a hobby that used to be fun has become a horrible chore.

For this reason you must kick him.

 

[twofalls]

I'v been gaming for nearly 30 years and I've been in the position a couple of times where I've had to remove friends of mine from a group. What I can say to you about it is that I've always regretted (and still do) the need to have to do so. I second guess myself and ask if there was some other way I could have handled it that would satisfy everyone. The answer is probably not, but its not satisfying. What I did do is made sure I gave the two guys in question lots of chances to come around.

Talk to him about it. I assume you already have but I'd suggest that rather than entering the conversation with "You are outta here mister" that instead you apologize to him and the rest of the group for loosing your temper and leaving the game. Then address with him the issue at hand, his refusal to accept the game being played and his argumentative attitude that is ruining the play for yourself and the other gamers. Lay your cards on the table, you are running 3.5 not 2.0, that is the game he signed up for and if he doesn't want to play that game thats pefectly fine, but its time to leave and find the game he really wants to play. Not only that, but as adults we give up our valuable spare time to enjoy each others fellowship and a good story, disagreements and rules squabbles happen, but if everyone at the table agree's that the GM is running the game, when you make a call shelf the arguement for the sake of the game and bring it up after session to hash out.

If he agree's great... if not thats great too issue solved. If he agrees but doesn't follow through you can then uninvite him from the game with a sense of having done all you could in order to accomodate everyone. As the GM of the game, you are cast in the role of the group leader, I feel that its part of a leaders responsiblity to try to resolve issues such as this in everyone's best interests.

I hope this helps, good luck!