Best things done on the roll of a one.

[TheFlamingRheo]

Okay so it starts like this our group is only first level and after a fight it is time for us all to rest but one person keeps complaining, in character, and so I threaten him that if he doesn't stop I am going to hurt him. But being a frickin imbelcile he continues to jabber away, so I try to make a javelin land right in front of his face and on my attack roll I score a beautiful one and my DM says that he is Impaled on the tree behind him thu8s killing him. Best of all we gained experience for his death, including him.

 

[Bonedagger]

You and/or you character need to learn some better communication skills.

 

[GnomeWorks]

That's almost as funny as the one about the paladin telling a party member to throw him his sword while in the cave of a [currently sleeping and unaware of the party] dragon. The thrower gets a 1, and he accidentally impales the paladin. The DM asks the paladin what he does before he falls, and he answers,

"I scream."

 

[madriel]

Our party was shopping in an open air market when the rogue spotted a really fine dagger he just had to have (after all, he only had 2 returning daggers and 5 or 6 regular ones ). Rather than seeking out the barbarian who was carting around the party treasure, he decided to busk for the rest of the money he needed.

So our halfling rogue decides to juggle his regular knives to amaze the crowd. He rolled a 2. With his ungodly Dex, he succeeded in amusing the crowd.

This inspired our monk to attempt an acrobatic martial arts routine. He rolled a 1. The DM asked him to make a Charisma check. He rolled another 1. Our DM told him that his gyrations appeared to mock a sacred ritual.

The halfling's player told him "I get the 2 and you get the tomatoes."

The monk always rolls like this.

No surprise really that the locals tried to poison his dinner that night.

 

[eXodus]

sunday we were playing in a new campaign and the group's gnome diviner tried to throw her tanglefoot bag at the evil priest. she rolled a '1.' so the dm consulted the miss table for grenade-like weapons. based on the subsequent roll from the player, her tanglefoot bag landed instead in the square occupied by one of the priest's lackeys.

 

[Dinkeldog]

Hey, FR, you might want to change the color that you post in. It's difficult to read against black.

That's only if you actually want people to read what you wrote.

 

[alsih2o]

ba-dump-bump, for comic relief

 

[Hejdun]

I once saw a player have his character commit suicide by stabbing himself, the DM asked for an attack roll....

It was a 1. It was beautiful.

 

[Pielorinho]

I once saw a player have his character commit suicide by stabbing himself, the DM asked for an attack roll....

It was a 1. It was beautiful.

Ever seen Happy Birthday, Wanda June?

Daniel

 

[Moe Ronalds]

I once saw a player have his character commit suicide by stabbing himself, the DM asked for an attack roll....

It was a 1. It was beautiful.

Wouldn't this count as a Coupe De Grace though?

Edit: Not 'cause they rolled a one, but because if they're doing it sensibly, they're standing still.

Edit2: Then again, suicide isn't too sensible...

Edit 3: Not to offend those who have tried suicide btw.