Wiseblood said:
A little bit of both actually.
The way Werk describes it sounds simple enough. However, what I also have to consider is
you have a grapple check which is another type of attack roll, I suppose. In some cases you can substitute other checks such as escape artist. Your armor class is different for foes that you are not grappling and there are special rules for when addithional grapplers join the fray. The rextra rolls the rules (Modifiers and exceptions) and such stack up to a lot of game time to resolve something that is often one on one and more frequently (than regular combat) a non-lethal solution.
Sorry, I didn't/don't mean to be flippant...I'm just a direct kinda guy.
It sounds like the core of your problem is not having everything broken out on the character sheets/monster cards. If you break everything out, as shown on the character record sheet on wizards site, you should have your touch AC and grapple check already on there. It's the same as rolling a regular attack, just use the number found in a different box.
Escape artist only comes into play when trying to escape, and rarely is an escape artist check going to be the best way to go.
How often do additional grapplers enter the fray? Is this a problem you experience, or something that you fear may possibly happen in the future that you are unprepared for? In either case, it works the same except no AoO. No bonuses for anyone, nothing like that, it just makes it harder to escape since you have to escape from all grapplers.
It sounds a lot like my neice saying that driving a stick (manual transmission) is too hard.
Have you ever driven a stick?
Once...
Is grappling harder than a 'regular' melee attack? Sure.
Is it cumbersome, tedious, convoluted, unplayable, take forever to resolve a single round?