"Can my spouse play for an evening?"

[Mercurius]

The title basically says it all, although feel free to replace "spouse" with "significant other" or "basement gimp." One of my regular players would like his wife to play for an evening, which I'm okay with on principal--especially because we're going to be playing at his house. However, when I think about someone coming in just for one session, us needing to guide her through every encounter, and probably other difficulties I haven't thought of, I'm a bit leery.

What are your experiences with this? Can it work OK or do you not recommend it? We had someone's (now ex) wife play with us one night and it went fine, but for some reason I'm more hesitant now. I think the main thing I don't want to deal with is losing momentum and getting bogged down explaining things, especially when they won't play again.

Thoughts?

 

[Vyvyan Basterd]

Think of any lost momentum as an investment in Goodwill. You may create a new gamer or not, but you're helping a friend either way.

 

[Mallus]

It all depends.

Do you want to treat the people who have invited you into their home well? If so, then be welcoming. Guide the 'guest star' through the session if need be, even if does slow the game down or blunts the story's momentum.

If you'd like to treat them not-well, do the opposite.

I mean, if I accidentally fell through a portal to Opposite World on Friday, and my Opposite Wife declared 'Hey, I'd like to play D&D with you and gang tonight!' I'd be very cross with my friends if they said 'No, she'll just slow us down'. Which, of course, they would, because they'd be my Opposite Friends, and lack the charm and good graces of their real-world counterparts. Also, they would all have beards.

 

[Obryn]

I will always find a way to work them in. I'll provide an easy-to-use character for them, or let them take over an absent player's PC, and will make sure they get introduced and start playing, first thing in the session.

-O

 

[awesomeocalypse]

My group has a standing rule that we'll let anyone play with us at least once. If we like 'em and it goes well, they're welcome back, if not we don't. There have been a few sessions wasted this way, but we've also made some good gaming friends, so we see it as a reasonable tradeoff.

Our only exception would be sessions with significant amounts of story importance. If its the final showdown with the big bad of the campaign, we might prefer to limit it only to those of us who had been playing the campaign throughout.

But thats pretty rare. For standard sessions, we have no problem plugging in someone new. I think people in our group really get a kick out of teaching new players to love D&D, and it puts us on our best behavior in that we're all more aware of how our play at the table might hold up as a model to others.

 

[Dausuul]

The title basically says it all, although feel free to replace "spouse" with "significant other" or "basement gimp." One of my regular players would like his wife to play for an evening, which I'm okay with on principal--especially because we're going to be playing at his house. However, when I think about someone coming in just for one session, us needing to guide her through every encounter, and probably other difficulties I haven't thought of, I'm a bit leery.

What are your experiences with this? Can it work OK or do you not recommend it? We had someone's (now ex) wife play with us one night and it went fine, but for some reason I'm more hesitant now. I think the main thing I don't want to deal with is losing momentum and getting bogged down explaining things, especially when they won't play again.

Thoughts?

Momentum isn't something I'd be that concerned about unless this session is going to be the climax of a story arc. Sometimes there are sessions where virtually nothing gets done; so long as a good time is had by all, I don't see that it matters.

But, if you're concerned that a good time won't be had by all... I suggest you run a short session a day or two ahead of time, just you and the husband and the wife. That'll give her a chance to learn the basics of the game, it'll give you a sense of what to expect from her, and if it turns out it's really not her bag, she can drop out without having to sit through a whole session with the full table.

Incidentally - why does the wife want to play for one session? Is she thinking about joining the group on a long-term basis, or is she just curious to see what it's all about, or what? Or is it the husband who's pushing for his wife to play?

Also, does the wife hang out with the rest of you away from the gaming table?

 

[IronWolf]

What are your experiences with this? Can it work OK or do you not recommend it? We had someone's (now ex) wife play with us one night and it went fine, but for some reason I'm more hesitant now. I think the main thing I don't want to deal with is losing momentum and getting bogged down explaining things, especially when they won't play again.

Thoughts?

I definitely think you should let them play. They may be really interested in learning the game or maybe just want insight to what their significant other is doing when he or she goes out for game night. In either case it seems the right decision to let them play.

I would think it relatively easy to work in an NPC that the person can play or play the character of an absent player. Let the spouse that plays know what the other will be playing and that gives them some time for them to catch her up on the story and possibly some of the basic mechanics ahead of time. I would think the spouse that plays would help her during the game with questions and "how do I" questions that come up, though I bet others in the group chip in as well.

As for bogging down the session, just go into it with an open mind and enjoy the game night that week for what it is.

 

[nedjer]

Someone reasonably civil asks for a game. Honour demands that you make the novice welcome and go out of your way to guide her.

None of your three hour battles thank you very much. No giving her a lame character. Do well and you might even be rewarded with good food.

 

[Raven Crowking]

Relationships with people are more important than games, and it is always possible to run a "one-shot" with different characters.

This shouldn't even be a question.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

It's more difficult for some games than for others -- for example, I found it difficult to accommodate drop-ins in my Eberron campaign, but it's literally as simple as printing a PDF page in my M&M campaign -- but when it's possible, I lean strongly toward "yes."