RPG Evolution: Please Play With Me?

There’s nothing quite so vulnerable as a DM asking new players to join your game.

There’s nothing quite so vulnerable as a DM asking new players to join your game.

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Picture courtesy of Pixabay.

Finding new players for a long-running tabletop role-playing game campaign can be challenging, especially in these times of social distancing and online gaming. There are many factors to consider and potential pools to draw from, such as family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and online communities. Each of these has its own pros and cons, and requires a different approach.

Family Members​

One of the first and easiest sources of potential players is your own family. Whether it’s your spouse, your kids, your siblings, or your parents, you already have a close relationship with them, and you know their personalities, interests, and schedules. You also have easy access to them, and you can play with them at home, without having to travel or use online platforms. I’ve played regularly with my spouse, my brother, and even my sister-in-law.

However, playing RPGs with your family can also have some drawbacks. For one thing, not all family members may be interested in or familiar with RPGs, and you may have to convince them to give it a try. You may also have to deal with some family dynamics, such as sibling rivalry, parental authority, or marital tension that could affect the game.

Sharing with family members is a bit different than other groups because the family member knows you better than most, but may not know your game. The rules might be intimidating but getting to know you will be less of a challenge, so focus on the rules and mechanics of the game.

Non-Gamer Friends​

Another source of potential players is your existing circle of friends who are not into gaming. These are people who you already know and like, and who share some of your interests. You already have a rapport which makes this approaching them a bit easier. It’s a chance to share your hobby with them.

However, RPGs are not for everybody, and since they’re still your friends, you need to respect that if they choose not to play. I’ve had limited success on this front; I’ve converted a few friends to gaming but none of them have really stuck with it. You may also have to deal with some social issues, such as peer pressure, group dynamics, or friendship conflicts, that could affect the game.

Friend of Friends​

Another source of potential players is your extended network of acquaintances, or friends of friends. These are people who you don’t know very well, but who have some connection or relation to your existing friends. Many of the new players I have in my campaign are friends of friends.

Once you start looking for players outside of your social circle, this is where incompatibilities may arise in play styles, or between friends. And if things don’t work out, you’ll need to consider how that affects your friend who is already in the game.

Online and In-Person Gaming Spaces​

Another source of potential players is the online and offline communities of gamers, such as websites, forums, social media, apps, or hobby shops. These are people who you don’t know personally, but who have a common interest in gaming.

Unlike friends, these potential players are obviously interested in the game but you don’t know much about them. As a result, you’ll probably need to do more vetting, depending on the platform or venue you use. Approaching strangers requires a bit of a sales pitch: you can describe the basic details of your game, such as the setting, the system, the schedule, the tone, and the rules. You can also describe yourself as a DM, and explain your style, your experience, and your expectations. I’ve played at a LOT of conventions with random strangers, and it’s a challenging experience to find someone who is compatible with your style.

Good Luck!​

Finding someone who is compatible with your gaming style, and that of your group, is largely a leap of faith. As much as you can try to reduce unknown variables like play styles (when it comes to friends and family) or gaming styles (when it comes to fellow gamers), you can only account for so much. The best way to figure out if it works is to play – perhaps in a shorter game, just to understand if everyone gels. With virtual platforms available, you can use online games as a means of vetting folks before meeting them in person.

This is hard work. If you have social anxiety, it’s even harder. You have to put yourself out there, and invite others to join your adventure. You have to be open and flexible, and adapt to different people and situations. But you also get a chance to share your game, make new friends, and have fun. When you find your people, it’s worth it.

Your Turn: How do you find new players?
 

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Michael Tresca

Michael Tresca

dragoner

KosmicRPG.com
I like running text or play by post type games, and I usually run some variety of homebrew traveller, last time I tried vanilla third imperium grogs wrecked it trying to game the system. I find it is looking in the right places that help.
 

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Eyes of Nine

Everything's Fine
I've been running almost exclusively in online spaces for 25 years. It started as a way to game while home with the kids on weekends. They'd goto bed (they were just babies), and I'd be alone, couldn't go out. But then I discovered I really like it.
I am so curious as to what tools you were using back in 1999-2000. Was it mostly play by post? That I can understand...
 

When I've had a decent group and have been looking to expand, that absolutely has been an anxiety-provoking experience for me. Group chemistry can be a subtle, unquantifiable thing and you never know how someone new might affect it. You have to put a whole lot of trust in potential new players.

Of course, it's also way less fraught asking someone if they want to play D&D these days than it was in past decades, so that's something on the plus side.

One-Shots don't always work. I've had a few creepers who seemed a good fit during the one-shot, but once in the regular game proved to be jerks.

While there have certainly been a few players that have immediately set off all sorts of warning bells, yeah, the majority of jerk players in my experience don't start off behaving badly on the first session. It can be months or even years before they finally start crossing lines.
 

When I've had a decent group and have been looking to expand, that absolutely has been an anxiety-provoking experience for me. Group chemistry can be a subtle, unquantifiable thing and you never know how someone new might affect it. You have to put a whole lot of trust in potential new players.
I tried for a few months to add a fifth player to our well-oiled four-player group (not counting me as DM). It proved very difficult. Lots of anti-social behaviour by the prospective players emerged after 2-3 games. I decided to stay at 4 players + DM.
 

pogre

Legend
Years ago I added some really great players to my in-person game by posting here on ENWorld. They have since moved away, but I still consider them friends.

For the first time since 2015 I am not running D&D for my next campaign. I sent out a notice to everyone in the group that our current campaign will hit level 18 or 19 in a couple of sessions at a natural end to the campaign arc (I usually run campaigns to level 20). I also told them the next campaign would be some home rules I have been working on for the last year. Last week I gave them all a copy of the rules and I invited them all to play, but said I would understand if they wanted out since we're not playing D&D. Yet to hear from one player, but everyone else is in.

I am fortunate that my kids enjoy playing and have been the core of my group the last several years. My oldest is an engineer locally, and although he travels a lot, he plays regularly. Two of my other children are out of state, but my youngest is a senior in high school and is an avid role player.

I asked my players if they knew anyone who would be a good fit for the group, because I anticipate some would not want to switch rules. However, everyone said it is a great group and they didn't want to mess up the chemistry.

When my youngest goes to school I am going to have to figure it out. Not looking forward to it. Probably will have to go back to D&D to get a decent pool of players again. May have to get involved in the Adventure League scene again to find players.
 

I tried for a few months to add a fifth player to our well-oiled four-player group (not counting me as DM). It proved very difficult. Lots of anti-social behaviour by the prospective players emerged after 2-3 games. I decided to stay at 4 players + DM.

Both of my gaming groups seem to have stabilized at four + DM as well. I'd prefer five, but four works for me. Especially gaming online, it's easier to manage.
 

Longspeak

Adventurer
I am so curious as to what tools you were using back in 1999-2000. Was it mostly play by post? That I can understand...
Actually, it was 1998. :D

I worked weekdays, my wife worked swing and weekend. We basically never ate a meal together for like 10 years. But also after a while I got REALLY bored and depressed. I went looking for alternative and I found... WebRPG Online.

I have looked, but my Google-Fu is weak. I can't find it. But it was basically one of the very first VTTs, way back in the age of dial up. It was mostly done in Java, but had a lot of features, like making character sheets and handouts, that we pretty much expect nowadays, but which I thought was amazing back in the day.

Started my first game of Everway on ... checks logs... Aug 15 1998. Ran on that platform for about 4 years.

Eventually we moved to IRC when WebRPG Online started having issues (it introed a lot features which made it run overall poorer, to the point of multiple disconnects per hour). Stayed with IRC for ages, but finally moved to Roll20 in about 2017.

ETA: Hey, look! I found an add for it... on these very forums! https://www.enworld.org/threads/free-webrpg-released.17078/
 
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I abandoned F2F because of the difficulty of finding replacement players in a (locally) dying gaming community, and switched to online.

I game on Roll20, and between their forum, Redditt, and the Discord dedicate to the setting I am using, finding players has been very easy. I find that vetting players requires a lot more effort than it did when everyone was often a friend of a friend, but over the years I have refined my 'players wanted' post and the Q&A that follows.
 

payn

I don't believe in the no-win scenario
One shots and organized play groups is where I meet folks before engaging in long term commitments.
 

Richards

Legend
My gaming group consists of myself, my grown son, my teenage nephew, my coworker, his wife, and their youngest son. Their son's PC gets run by his dad now that he's off to college, but when he's in town he still plays with us. We've invited my wife to play as well, but she's really not interested (and I think she enjoys the "alone time" while we're all in the basement having a gaming session).

We've been gaming together this way for about 17 years now. My co-worker's oldest son gamed with us from the start until he moved away to college, and their youngest son and my nephew were late additions (they were still babies when we started playing), but other than that we've been a pretty stable group through all those years.

Johnathan
 

Split the Hoard


Split the Hoard
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A competitive card game for 2-5 players
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Split the Hoard


Split the Hoard
Negotiate, demand, or steal the loot you desire!

A competitive card game for 2-5 players
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