Can you gauge RPG interest by out of game behavior (updated)

[Li Shenron]

I'm evaluating players for my next game and I have a potential player whom wants his wife to play. For the most part everything has happened. What got me worried is last night she proclaimed several times that she hates anything that lasts longer than 2 hours. Her hubby has also told me that she doesnt have an interest in reading the PHB.

Your second post sounds completely different than the first :\

She doesn't want to play the game, and has a stupid husband who is trying to force her.

Don't bring either to your game.

 

[William drake]

You're about to start a campaign and one of your players wants to bring their spouse. Their spouse has only Played Dungeons and Dragons once for three sessions but quit because of the power gamers in the group. The spouse seems interested in playing, but professes that they are too overwhelmed by the PHB and would rather your player create their character and explain as they go. Do you still offer the invite for the player's spouse?

How important are these factors in your decision?

- Experience of other players in the game
- If you use house rules or alternative rules supplements (I.E. Conan or Midnight)
- length of the friendship

Second question, would your decision change if this situation occurred.
You invite your player and their spouse over for a long game (say Arkham Horror, Risk, Doom, Die Macher etc). during a time you normal have your d and d game. The spouse often appears bored and has a hard time following the rules. The spouse also self proclaims she hates games that last longer than 2 hrs.

Does this even effect your decision or are there similiarties between board games and rpgs.

Well, all players have to know enough of the game to play. I would make sure that the husband, or wife of the couple would explain to the other outside of game, what does what. HOwever, I play games where you need to know whats going on, so as long as thats kept up. iTs all good.

 

[Sound of Azure]

You could always invite the other players' spouses... and all of the spouses can hang out together doing something else.

---
As for the original question, I'd probably let them both play on a trial basis. If there are problems, then don't renew the invitation. If the spouse isn't enjoying herself then she can walk away, no hard feelings. If she did have fun, she might show a lot more interest.

 

[EyeontheMountain]

For me D&D is a boy's night out kind of situation. Works well in my case.

 

[Rpjunkie]

I am so blessed that my wife played before I even met her, And she makes great Characters and knows the rules. Yay! I got lucky!

RPJ

 

[DonTadow]

WOW I am glad I wasn't the only one getting a little annoyed last night. If he has to constantly prod her along and help make her decisions for her like he did in that game last night that is gonna make the the new Campaign drag ass. Also we saw with Nuri last campaign what having a person play a pre made character can do.

:sorry inside talk: yeah my biggest worry is that she'll be another Nuri. Nuri was one of the problem players who did not really grasp the rules of 3.5 and let her d and d friends make her characters for her. That often resulted in long times where she didn't know what things did or how to do things.

Your second post sounds completely different than the first

She doesn't want to play the game, and has a stupid husband who is trying to force her.

Don't bring either to your game.

Sorry, but I didnt want to get too descriptive because I didn't want biases of the game were entering or the sex to play a part because its not the sex of the player but their interest in the game that worries me. My GF plays in my campaign and does great and I've met some great female players and dms.

I'm getting mixed signals from them, thus the post. I talked to her, alone, on the phone and she sounded enthusiastic about role playing but did mention how she's never read the PHB. He's also been pretty honest. He told me he was interested in her playing, but asked me to ask her to join, making it sound like the decision was up to her on rather she'd join or no

She has witnessed a game recently, though even that was a mixed signal. My GF, runs shackled city on Fridays. His wife came to the game to watch us play for a paper she's writing for a class.

My theory has always been that if you are into dungeons and dragons, or role playing, its hard to just watch without wanting to roll up a character and get into the mix. The game is level 1, and my GF had built a level 1 fighter as an NPC for her to role play. I admit, I was hoping to use this as a chance to evaluate her playstyle.

However, she declined the invitation offering only to watch. Halfway through the game she went to sleep. Again, not really sure what to make of it.

 

[DonTadow]

Just an update on the actual situation.

We played die macher again last night. Thats a long political board game, not everyones cup of tea. The spouse was much more attentive this time during the first half of the game, but got real distracted during the second "walking around, playing with the cat, etc". After the game she commented on how she liked the game as a game, but hates any game that is 4 hours long.

At this time my fiance, gamergurl, asks what is she going to do with D and D when our sessions lasts 6 to 10 hours. Her direct answer was she didn't really think it lasted that whole time and that if it did she probably wouldn't play every week. Then I stepped in and said politely that my campaign is not like a board game where you can pick and choose sessions. Its 3 sundays a month. Her husband said that he'd talk to her about it to see if she didnt want to play but we walked out pretty sure that we wouldn't be seeing her at the table.

We both were kind of upset because we explained to her how long the game was and how long we played previously but apparently it didnt set in until after we played an actual 6 hour game of something else.

 

[MadMaxim]

She is seemingly not interested in playing games that last longer than a couple of hours, so I think it'll be difficult to convice her to play through sessions that are three or four times as long with rules that she's not interested in learning. I wouldn't invite her back, because she'd likely ruin the game for the rest of you. Sure, 6-10 hours is a long time, but if she doesn't feel up to the task, there's no point in trying to have her join the game when she'll most likely be leaving half-way through a session.

 

[DonTadow]

She is seemingly not interested in playing games that last longer than a couple of hours, so I think it'll be difficult to convice her to play through sessions that are three or four times as long with rules that she's not interested in learning. I wouldn't invite her back, because she'd likely ruin the game for the rest of you. Sure, 6-10 hours is a long time, but if she doesn't feel up to the task, there's no point in trying to have her join the game when she'll most likely be leaving half-way through a session.

My initial query was wondering if it was the game itself, or the time. SHe seemed to enjoy the game when she was playing it, but i think that the time just isnt there. What I wanted to get at in my initial query is can you guage someones interest in dungeons and dragons without actually seeming them play.

If I was to go with my observations I'd say that she doesn't want to play it. But (well before last night) she sounded interested. An even broader question would be can you gauge someones interest in d and d by their behavior.

 

[Chimera]

If I hadn't been playing D&D since the White Box set, I'd be intimidated by the PHB too. It's futile and/or a bit harsh to expect newbies to master it before play. I think the best bet is to ask them what they want to play (which involves discussion and options), then create a character for them (with their input) and then help them along.

- Experience of other players in the game

Disposition of the experienced players toward new players is probably more important. Having some jerk rage on and insult the newbie because they take too long and don't know the rules isn't going to help the new person adapt and feel included.

- length of the friendship

Not at all a factor for me. I could have met them the moment they walked into the door for the game and I'd treat them the same.

Second question, would your decision change if this situation occurred.
You invite your player and their spouse over for a long game (say Arkham Horror, Risk, Doom, Die Macher etc). during a time you normal have your d and d game. The spouse often appears bored and has a hard time following the rules. The spouse also self proclaims she hates games that last longer than 2 hrs.

That last part is the game killer. If you can't take a game session lasting more than two hours, you WILL NOT last in any RPG. Ever. I'd take the boredom and negative attitude as a sure sign that this person is not to be invited to any future games.