Can't game at your own house?

[Mystery Man]

You should get a barn .

 

[Oryan77]

There are two selfish jerks living in that apartment, and neither of them is the OP's roomie.

Take a hint, sport. The thing with your girlfriend staying full-time is not working out.

Chill out man, I'll let your comments slide since you are just jumping to conclusions and trying to help. But you're going down the wrong road here. If we were to dumb this down to percentages of what each person in the apartment owes, I would be including his gf in the equation also. Before mine moved in, she lived 2 hours away and spent maybe 4 nights a month at my place. His gf lives 30 minuates away and is there 5 days out of the week and stays the night about 3 of them. Maybe you had some bad experiences and that's why you're focusing on this, but this just isn't the case.

 

[Agback]

No, my roommate is very cool about my gf staying with us.

He's being generous about it. You don't know what he really feels.

Come on: this guy is an inconsiderate arrogant jerk who is getting a fat head from being promoted at work, is getting too big for his britches, and is trying to take over your apartment--but when it comes to your girlfriend moving in without paying rent or utilities and staying for months on end, why then he's a prince.

 

[Pielorinho]

I assume that the OP is paying two-thirds of the rent and utilities. Remember that he has moved his girlfriend in 'temporarily', and it sounds as though she has been there for at least two months. Moreover, it seems as though the OP is planning for her to be there for months to come.

There are two selfish jerks living in that apartment, and neither of them is the OP's roomie.

Moderator's Notes: Agback, I encourage you to reread the board's rules. You may not call, or imply, that another poster is a jerk. Please remain civil and courteous at all times.

Don't post in this thread again: leave it to the other board members. If you have questions, you may email me or another moderator for clarification. Posting in this thread again, or future behavior like this, is likely to earn you a temporary or permanent banning. Mod tempers are short as of late.

Daniel

 

[smootrk]

Productive and positive advice is most likely what the poster would like to hear.

 

[Oryan77]

Come on: this guy is an inconsiderate arrogant jerk who is getting a fat head from being promoted at work, is getting too big for his britches, and is trying to take over your apartment--but when it comes to your girlfriend moving in without paying rent or utilities and staying for months on end, why then he's a prince.

He's no prince, but you just pointed out my problem. He is a decent guy who honestly doesn't mind my gf staying with us. My gf does what she can to help out...cleans dishes, takes out trash, vacuumed our floor. He also doesn't mind because he knows I don't mind that his gf is over all of the time taking up space in the living room. That's why I'd rather handle this maturely and reasonably instead of being bull-headed also. I came here wondering if I can handle this without resorting to unnecessary tension in the house which will lead to an unhappy living environment. In over 3 years of living together, this is the first time we've ever raised our voices at each other about something. Like I said, I understand why he's annoyed, I sympathise with him...D&D demands a lot. But I don't agree with him that I should be completely forced to do what I want to do 100% by his schedule.

Talking to him didn't work at first, but I've already gotten several ideas here that I can use as ammo for a 2nd conversation with him that might help us both agree on something.

 

[atom crash]

Talking to him didn't work at first, but I've already gotten several ideas here that I can use as ammo for a 2nd conversation with him that might help us both agree on something.

Good deal. Cool heads will prevail. My advice is to find another place to play this time, then sit down and work out a plan for future scheduling. Work with him, don't demand anything at first since it just puts him on the defensive and will make it more difficult to be reasonable.

But you may consider that although your roommate is cool with your gf being there and you are cool with his gf being there, there may also be some underlying tension because in effect there are 4 people in an apartment that is the perfect size for two people.

My brother was the best roommate I ever had, until we both started having our girlfriends stay over a lot. I didn't realize until much later that our problem was that although we got along wonderfully, the apartment was much too small for 4 people. We'd have arguments about the cable bill, cleaning the dishes, whatever, anything BUT the two girls staying over all the time, but that's what the arguments really were about. And there were times we wanted to strangle each other.

I'm not saying that anyone in the apartment is being inconsiderate; in your mind you're 100 % in the right because you've already cleared plans with him and in his mind he is 100% in the right because it's his apartment too. I can relate to you both; gaming or just hanging out with friends is important but sometimes I just want to be able to come home to my solace and not be bothered by anyone.

My point is that it might be worth considering that you and your roommate have arrived at the point, after living together for 3 years, that you've been as tolerant as you can be and now little things are starting to aggravate you to no end.

But back to your plight, doing anything that he will perceive as picking a fight over this issue is going to make you miserable. And being miserable at home sucks, because there's no way to escape a bad scene in the place where you sleep.

 

[Tewligan]

Honestly, I can't blame the roommate for being a little annoyed. Having the living room taken up all day every couple of weekends really IS kind of a lot for someone who has no interest in what's going on. Your best bet is probably finding somewhere else to play. How long are his drinking friends there when they show up before clubbing?

 

[JRRNeiklot]

Let him have his way, then, while he and his friends are happily chugging beer and hanging out, pull the same crap he does. Ask him if they can quit at 5:00 so you can watch tv. If that doesn't work, just stomp his ass. Problem solved. Don't let him push you around, either physically or emotionally.

 

[Oryan77]

Honestly, I can't blame the roommate for being a little annoyed. Having the living room taken up all day every couple of weekends really IS kind of a lot for someone who has no interest in what's going on. Your best bet is probably finding somewhere else to play. How long are his drinking friends there when they show up before clubbing?

Yeah I agree, I am asking for a lot. But I think about what his reasons for being annoyed are...he can't freely use the living room. If he was wanting his own group of friends over and we're in the way, or he wanted to use the living room to play poker or something, but we're in the way...I would totally be ok with trying to shorten our game like he wants until we can game at my friends house again. But what he wants is to watch tv and eat dinner. He can do that in his room...I do that in my room all the time. He just doesn't want to. I have no problems wanting to relax when his friends are over and I just eat and watch tv in my room. It's no big deal...but it is for him for some reason. That's my problem with it.

His friends are over maybe 3-4 hours from 7pm-11pm until they are ready to go out. It's really not a problem to me though, sometimes I hang out, or sometimes I'll just go to my room when I don't feel like drinking. I just used that as an example with him just to show that I have no problems with him hogging up the living room at night when I want to relax. He says he doesn't mind us playing earlier as long as we stop by 5pm...but that's like asking the guys to start playing poker at 9am and finishing by 5pm. I don't know anyone who smokes cigars, drinks, and plays poker from 9-5...it's a night event. D&D is our version of a poker game.