-
NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
CERAMIC D.M. (not the current one, a year old)
- Thread starter alsih2o
- Start date
mystraschosen
First Post
*is bored of bumping,so ties a rocket to the thread and lights the fuse* sssssssssssssboom and off goes the thread.
alsih2o
First Post
maldur-
busy at gencon uk, says noone is his choice
alsih2o-
thimblethesquit
this is an unusual treatment for ceramic d.m., all the pictures are used decently well, if not with the most imaginative sense. i definetely laughed at this more than most
noone of consequence
good story, good twists, funny but on topic, i like this one all around. and i like it when someone merges two pics.
hard one here, but i have to give it to nooneofconsequence.
mirthcard-
thimble the squit:
Succinct and to the point. alsih2o says you're the
anti-me for turning in your entry so quickly, I say
that you might be the anti-arwink as well ... not that
length matters. Enough with the jokes, on to the
criticism. I am impressed by a number of things in
your story, but most of all by your strength of voice.
Your nameless protagonist never falters or sways from
the voice that you give him in your opening sentence
and that was enough to keep me hooked throughout. I
feel as if I know him as soon as he speaks - his
cocksure nature, his self-deprecating humor, his
nonchalant heroism - all are revealed with the
precision of a razor in the hands of a surgeon. It
doesn't stop there. Your use of the ingredients is top
notch as well, all are integral to the plot of the
piece, all have purpose and meaning, nothing seems
forced. However (you knew that was coming, didn't
you?), the short length of your entry helps to keep
the use of the ingredients balanced, because you don't
really expound on any of them. You give the reader
just enough to tantalize. That's where this entry
starts to fall apart. There simply isn't an ending.
There's no closure. I like a good pun as much as the
next guy, but come on. That line seems more like a
cop-out. You had PLENTY of time to beef this thing up,
so you can't blame it on the deadline (like I often
do). And now we've gotten to the meat of the problem,
see? I want to know more! How does it end? Tell me!
What does he do? Is the quandry you've put the judge
in a good or a bad thing? Only time will tell ... or
you could just skip to the end and find out. Unlike
you, I have to give an ending - good or bad, whatever
it bee.
nooneofconsequence:
Alas, poor Treffin, I knew him well. What's that you
say? He's not dead? Well, he will be soon enough, if
I'm any judge of character, and I think I am. Now I'll
prove it, shall I? Class, here we have a classic
example of a Ceramic DM entry: the balanced and
thoughtful use of ingredients accompanied by an
entertaining and captivating story. Points continue to
flood in as we examine such important elements as plot
(check!), characterization (check!), voice (check!),
context (check!), mood (check!), action (check!),
heroism (check!), villainy (check!), and above all
nudity (check! check! check!) ... Ahem. I would have
to say, class, that a name change is in order, for if
this entry is anything to judge by, we have found
ourselves SomeoneOfConsequence. But wait, there is one
glaring exception to this otherwise prime example of
an entry. One fudge round to the first person who can
tell me what is wrong with this picture, so to speak.
Yes, you in the back of the class, Mr. Clay is it?
Yes, that's right. HE FORGOT TO LABEL THE PICTURES IN
THE TEXT!!!!!!!!! Here's your fudge round. To be fair,
the other guy forgot as well.
In this extremely close round, I have to give the
bittersweet victory to NoOneOfConsquence for his
point-for-point definition of a Ceramic DM winner
(well except for one point, really
looks like a unanimous decision for noone of consequence
busy at gencon uk, says noone is his choice
alsih2o-
thimblethesquit
this is an unusual treatment for ceramic d.m., all the pictures are used decently well, if not with the most imaginative sense. i definetely laughed at this more than most
noone of consequence
good story, good twists, funny but on topic, i like this one all around. and i like it when someone merges two pics.
hard one here, but i have to give it to nooneofconsequence.
mirthcard-
thimble the squit:
Succinct and to the point. alsih2o says you're the
anti-me for turning in your entry so quickly, I say
that you might be the anti-arwink as well ... not that
length matters. Enough with the jokes, on to the
criticism. I am impressed by a number of things in
your story, but most of all by your strength of voice.
Your nameless protagonist never falters or sways from
the voice that you give him in your opening sentence
and that was enough to keep me hooked throughout. I
feel as if I know him as soon as he speaks - his
cocksure nature, his self-deprecating humor, his
nonchalant heroism - all are revealed with the
precision of a razor in the hands of a surgeon. It
doesn't stop there. Your use of the ingredients is top
notch as well, all are integral to the plot of the
piece, all have purpose and meaning, nothing seems
forced. However (you knew that was coming, didn't
you?), the short length of your entry helps to keep
the use of the ingredients balanced, because you don't
really expound on any of them. You give the reader
just enough to tantalize. That's where this entry
starts to fall apart. There simply isn't an ending.
There's no closure. I like a good pun as much as the
next guy, but come on. That line seems more like a
cop-out. You had PLENTY of time to beef this thing up,
so you can't blame it on the deadline (like I often
do). And now we've gotten to the meat of the problem,
see? I want to know more! How does it end? Tell me!
What does he do? Is the quandry you've put the judge
in a good or a bad thing? Only time will tell ... or
you could just skip to the end and find out. Unlike
you, I have to give an ending - good or bad, whatever
it bee.
nooneofconsequence:
Alas, poor Treffin, I knew him well. What's that you
say? He's not dead? Well, he will be soon enough, if
I'm any judge of character, and I think I am. Now I'll
prove it, shall I? Class, here we have a classic
example of a Ceramic DM entry: the balanced and
thoughtful use of ingredients accompanied by an
entertaining and captivating story. Points continue to
flood in as we examine such important elements as plot
(check!), characterization (check!), voice (check!),
context (check!), mood (check!), action (check!),
heroism (check!), villainy (check!), and above all
nudity (check! check! check!) ... Ahem. I would have
to say, class, that a name change is in order, for if
this entry is anything to judge by, we have found
ourselves SomeoneOfConsequence. But wait, there is one
glaring exception to this otherwise prime example of
an entry. One fudge round to the first person who can
tell me what is wrong with this picture, so to speak.
Yes, you in the back of the class, Mr. Clay is it?
Yes, that's right. HE FORGOT TO LABEL THE PICTURES IN
THE TEXT!!!!!!!!! Here's your fudge round. To be fair,
the other guy forgot as well.
In this extremely close round, I have to give the
bittersweet victory to NoOneOfConsquence for his
point-for-point definition of a Ceramic DM winner
(well except for one point, really
looks like a unanimous decision for noone of consequence
alsih2o
First Post
baroomcore vs mystraschosen
maldur-
busy at gencon uk, says barsoomcore for him
alsih2o-
barsoomcore
rome seems to creep up again and again opn these boards, when are we gonan see the great roman supplement?
the tension fo thsi story is good and i like the handling of the pig a lot. the tubes as gods digesting the roman is what clinches it tho.
mystraschosen
i would have liked it better if i had been given more of an insight into the windcatchers, but
i have to say the giant pig mount entertained me greatly. a decent handling of the pictures in a story
with a very epic feel, good stuff
i have to go with barsoomcore on this one
mirthcard-
barsoomcore:
The story itself was muddy, and I mean that in a good
way ... mostly. The tidbits about what really happened
that are strewn throughout the story are nice and it
definitely adds to the overwhelming despair of the
piece. As a reader I was sucked into the moment of the
Roman soldier crossing the field. Good descriptive
language, good use of characterization. However, I got
lost a bit when the Nasennius went to hide under the
trees/bushes. The muddy transition here was filled
with too many unknown variables for me as a reader to
understand exactly what was going on. The old man
brought things back into sharp focus and the
interchange between the family members and the Roman
were really well done, culminating in a very nice
fight scene. This clash with its heartbeat pacing is
probably my favorite part of the story, but I was
again lost as to how it actually ended. Another
confusing transition and all of my expectations are
overturned. Turns out the Roman I felt I was supposed
to be sympathetic towards in the beginning is really a
cold-blooded murderer. I think. But I'm not sure. Just
as I'm not sure what the "god" is or many other things
... Vassinus Augendus? Paullus? Epiran? These terms
are thrown about but I have no real idea what they
mean, only my vague assumptions. But when you switch
back to the Roman's point of view inside the "god," I
find myself sucked right back into the moment again.
(The "god" did seem a bit forced also. The other
ingredients were strong, however.) This piece has so
many moments that just needed a stronger cohesive
backdrop. It's a little bit out of focus, making me
feel like I'm experiencing the story looking through
clear jelly.
mystraschosen:
Hmm ... where to start? I like the details. The world
you've created here seems structured and believable.
You have glorious heroes, a deceptive villain, exotic
locales, a gory battle - everything that makes D&D
such fun. But I wonder if you wouldn't have been
better off writing this up as a game scenario rather
than a story. The ideas seem like they would work so
well as an adventure. As a narrative, however, I
thought it was a bit hard to get through. You've
already talked about the grammatical errors, so I'm
not referring only to those. The problems seem more
symptomatic of an overall structural error. For
instance, you begin with an interchange between two
old friends, a fine choice, and we as readers start to
get a feeling for their relationship to each other and
a sense of who they are as individuals, but then the
scene abruptly ends. Instead of allowing the
characters to evolve naturally or speak for
themselves, it seemed as if you were dragging me from
place to place, action to action. I felt that the
piece was more like a recount of a gaming session than
a story I could lose myself in, and that unfortunately
put me off as a reader. In addition, your use of
ingredients was a bit off, something that is crucial
to winning a Ceramic DM contest. You focused well on
the first picture, but then it seemed as if only
cursory attention was being paid to pictures two and
four (although I must say the halfling yelling "HOOF!"
to the giant pig had me laughing out loud) and picture
three seemed as if it was only in the story because it
had to be, not because it was important. In the end, I
felt your ideas were strong but your execution could
have been better. I hope my criticism here hasn't been
too harsh and I also hope this doesn't put you off
competing in the future. If you ever wanted to write
this up as a short adventure, I would love to use it.
I give this round to barsoomcore.
unanimous round to barsoomcore
maldur-
busy at gencon uk, says barsoomcore for him
alsih2o-
barsoomcore
rome seems to creep up again and again opn these boards, when are we gonan see the great roman supplement?
the tension fo thsi story is good and i like the handling of the pig a lot. the tubes as gods digesting the roman is what clinches it tho.
mystraschosen
i would have liked it better if i had been given more of an insight into the windcatchers, but
i have to say the giant pig mount entertained me greatly. a decent handling of the pictures in a story
with a very epic feel, good stuff
i have to go with barsoomcore on this one
mirthcard-
barsoomcore:
The story itself was muddy, and I mean that in a good
way ... mostly. The tidbits about what really happened
that are strewn throughout the story are nice and it
definitely adds to the overwhelming despair of the
piece. As a reader I was sucked into the moment of the
Roman soldier crossing the field. Good descriptive
language, good use of characterization. However, I got
lost a bit when the Nasennius went to hide under the
trees/bushes. The muddy transition here was filled
with too many unknown variables for me as a reader to
understand exactly what was going on. The old man
brought things back into sharp focus and the
interchange between the family members and the Roman
were really well done, culminating in a very nice
fight scene. This clash with its heartbeat pacing is
probably my favorite part of the story, but I was
again lost as to how it actually ended. Another
confusing transition and all of my expectations are
overturned. Turns out the Roman I felt I was supposed
to be sympathetic towards in the beginning is really a
cold-blooded murderer. I think. But I'm not sure. Just
as I'm not sure what the "god" is or many other things
... Vassinus Augendus? Paullus? Epiran? These terms
are thrown about but I have no real idea what they
mean, only my vague assumptions. But when you switch
back to the Roman's point of view inside the "god," I
find myself sucked right back into the moment again.
(The "god" did seem a bit forced also. The other
ingredients were strong, however.) This piece has so
many moments that just needed a stronger cohesive
backdrop. It's a little bit out of focus, making me
feel like I'm experiencing the story looking through
clear jelly.
mystraschosen:
Hmm ... where to start? I like the details. The world
you've created here seems structured and believable.
You have glorious heroes, a deceptive villain, exotic
locales, a gory battle - everything that makes D&D
such fun. But I wonder if you wouldn't have been
better off writing this up as a game scenario rather
than a story. The ideas seem like they would work so
well as an adventure. As a narrative, however, I
thought it was a bit hard to get through. You've
already talked about the grammatical errors, so I'm
not referring only to those. The problems seem more
symptomatic of an overall structural error. For
instance, you begin with an interchange between two
old friends, a fine choice, and we as readers start to
get a feeling for their relationship to each other and
a sense of who they are as individuals, but then the
scene abruptly ends. Instead of allowing the
characters to evolve naturally or speak for
themselves, it seemed as if you were dragging me from
place to place, action to action. I felt that the
piece was more like a recount of a gaming session than
a story I could lose myself in, and that unfortunately
put me off as a reader. In addition, your use of
ingredients was a bit off, something that is crucial
to winning a Ceramic DM contest. You focused well on
the first picture, but then it seemed as if only
cursory attention was being paid to pictures two and
four (although I must say the halfling yelling "HOOF!"
to the giant pig had me laughing out loud) and picture
three seemed as if it was only in the story because it
had to be, not because it was important. In the end, I
felt your ideas were strong but your execution could
have been better. I hope my criticism here hasn't been
too harsh and I also hope this doesn't put you off
competing in the future. If you ever wanted to write
this up as a short adventure, I would love to use it.
I give this round to barsoomcore.
unanimous round to barsoomcore
Last edited:
Similar Threads
