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Ceramic DM Winter 07 (Final Judgment Posted)

Berandor

lunatic
orchid blossom said:
Mine is also currently being worked on. I've been under the weather for a couple days but my head is pretty clear now. So hopefully what I write will make sense!
Making sense... I never knew that was a requirement. :)

Sialia:
[sblock]
Sialia said:
Berandor, I'm tempted to say that "my only visceral response to your story was that I threw up, but I was planning on doing that anyway," except that that would be both unnecessarily harsh, and also untrue.
The better way of putting it was that I desperately needed to go throw up, but I was so busy reading your story I made myself wait until I was done reading it to go puke. That has to be some sort of testament to a worthwhile read, because if it had been less compelling, it would have gotten shelved along with everything else I haven't gotten around to in the past month because I've been busy puking. So you get points for distracting me from my misery for a while, even if it was only to gloat over someone else's.
Who would've thought that "I had to puke after reading your story" could sound positive? Thanks be the post hoc ergo propter hoc logical fallacy. :)

Thank you for your comment.[/sblock]
 

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Gulla

Adventurer
Finally some time. It's quiet in the house after the kids left for school and my brain is mostly awake and the interresting parts of the Skiing World Championship isn't on for another 3 hours. Prefect for reading stories.

First Mythago. Since Miles Pilitus didn't deliver, you get another go at this. If you can squeeze in some sleep and a little more time the next round the other three probably should start making offerings to their dark gods to avoid you in the semi finals.
I don't quite agree with Siala that the opening is the best you have written, but it is more than good enough to keep me reading. The part that got me totally hooked was the start of the third paragraph: "The wax man stood up and stretched". I read it three times to be sure I got that right, and then just settled in for a nice ride.
I really like the mood and voice in what you did deliver. It's been some years since I read a lot of fairy-tales from around the world so my memory might fool me, but this felt like a traditional African fairy-tale. The mood was right, the images and the mythology also just fit perfectly. It is a bit rough, but what is there is very good and I think you could get a diamond out of this with some more work and time.

And then on to the spoilered ones:
[sblock]
BSF (Boy am I glad you abbreviated it ;) ) You said you hoped there wasn't too many errors, but I'm afraid the ones I noticed did reduce my enjoyment a little. First I'm used to the spelling "voodoo" and when used in the title it disappointed me at the start, which is not good. The other jarring one was "I could the face of my quarry sitting on display" (missing word).
Otherwise it is risky writing another detective story after some rather good ones in the last round, and this time I don't think you managed to pull it off. The hints about the cat-detective are nice, and the story ok, but since speaking/intelligent animals are rare, the narrator should have more problems with it. Also the two uses of "the client might not be honest with me" seems like repetition (in a bad way) more than rising tension (which would be reptetition in a good way).
I like the overall idea behind the story, but feel it doesn't quite flow and come forth as finished. So my overall impression is that this is OK, but you can do better.

CarpeDavid Nice! And with a happy ending. I like those :) As with the last story I didn't feel it was long, but the watch tells me it was. That's the way a story should be (at least one of the ways it should be). The atmosphere of the story is very good. Gangs in a (not too far?) future setting is interresting, and the difference between "sqares" and "cool" gives almost a Grease-feeling. The characters seem believable and there is just enough resistance for the heroes to introduce tension in what I feel is more a very good description of a possible future. Extra brownie points for setting it on Mars, but you lose (most of) them by not having anything being different from Earth (low gravity, two moons, lack of atmosphere, anything, really)
Not much more to say, really. You write good, tell a good story with a pleasant pace. I still feel there is a little bit to go before you reach brilliant, which might be needed in the next round. Maybe some more complex characters or a more "difficult" story? The two stories so far I feel that you set your aim for "Exellent" and reach it easily (I know it is hard work, though). Maybe you should aim for "Genious" and take the chance of spectacular failure?
One thing I forgot: The dialogue is very good. (At least to me, as a very "square" and without English as my main language).
[/sblock]

Thanks to all the writers so far, and I'm really looking forward to the last match and the next rounds.

Håkon
 

tadk

Explorer
Almost

Rodrigo Istalindir said:
Ok, all done. I'll sleep on it tonight in hopes of additional brilliance, and post in the morning. Balls in your court, tadk.

Almost done with it
Want to add some more
Will be a smidgen over 2k in word count
no where near what I wanted to produce, but there are some parts to it I really like, if I might say so about my own writing.
I will be posting in the 11 AM EST timeframe, just a few hours to think, clean, add some more, finish this one spot.
This is getting harder and harder on me with each CDM that comes along.
 


I once made a mental list of the best ways to be awakened in the morning. Number three was the sound and smell of bacon sizzling in the pan. Number two was to slowly drift from blissful darkness through that hazy twilight of semi-consciousness and finally to fully awake. Number one required, shall we say, outside assistance.

Feeling a tug on your foot and opening your eyes to see a priest and a zombie doctor staring down at you was not going to make the list. (Picture 2) Excuse me, an ‘undead-American doctor’. Wouldn’t want to get HR’s knickers in a twist.

“Whtmst?” I asked. They looked at each other and then back at me.

“What time is it?” I repeated. This time they looked like they understood.

“A little after 10,’ Father Murphy answered. “In the evening,” he added helpfully.

“Oh, good,” I replied, attempting to sound bitter and cheerful at the same time. “Two hours of sleep every two days is plenty.”

I swung my feet off the gurney and sat up. Dr. Singh grabbed my arm to steady me when I wobbled. The sharp smell of disinfectant crawled up my sinus and poked me behind the eyes.

Groggy, clumsy, and in the presence of a priest. A sudden spike of fear ripped through my guts.

“Oh my god, I died, didn’t I?” I gasped.

“Sorry, Sean. We did everything we could,” said the doctor, eyes downcast.

I looked at him, then at Father Murphy. The priest’s mouth twitched, and then the two of them burst out laughing.

“Not funny,” I groused. I staggered to my feet and headed for the door. My sense of humor needed coffee, stat.

“Dr. Benson, please, wait. There is a situation,” called Dr. Singh. There was no humor in his voice.

I’d served as a corpsman under Captain Stark in the Demon Wars. I’d done my residency in Chicago, when the creatures of legend and cinema first rose to walk among us. The fact that they used government-speak instead of telling me straight up meant it was something weird, even by modern standards.

*

When we entered the corridor, the first thing that struck me was the eerie silence. Hospital emergency rooms are many things – smelly, bright, sticky. Never quiet.

The second thing I noticed was that the ER was populated by plastery-white statues. Yes, I said I noticed that second. Sue me -- I still hadn’t had my caffeine.

“Someone called the parish and asked them to send a priest to perform Last Rites,” Murphy whispered. “It was like this when I got here.”

“I’ve been in radiology all night,” Singh continued. “I assumed when no one bothered me that it was a slow night. Then the Father found me.”

I walked down the hall towards Admitting. The waiting room looked like a Rodin competition at a first-rate art school.

I grabbed the clipboard with the admitting sheet from the receptionist’s counter. Columns listed the names of patients, doctors and examination rooms.

“You two take the left side, I’ll take the right. See if there’s any room missing a patient.”

I hit pay-dirt in exam room three. Dr. Jamis crouched immobile over an examination table. Frozen behind him, looking over his shoulder, stood the statuesque Nurse Rawlins. (Picture 1) There was no sign of a patient.

There was, however, a chart. The blessings of modern day medicine and malpractice suits: nothing happens without being written down.

I scanned the sheets of paper. Magaera Gordon, 22, female, 7 months pregnant. Complaining of sores on her scalp and hair loss. Jamis had sent blood samples off to Toxicology, had requested a consult from Nuclear Medicine thinking maybe there’d been exposure to radioactives, and had taken a skull X-ray. He’d also called Psych; compulsive hair-pulling wasn’t that uncommon among young women in stressful situations. Based on his position, it looked like he was doing a pelvic.

It seemed like an awful lot, but then I saw the last page. Ah – fully insured.

I called out to the others. They came quickly. I wondered if they’d even left the lobby.

“Go check the waiting room and see if any of the stiffs look like a pregnant woman. We may be missing a patient.”

A heart-stopping scream rendered that unnecessary. Work in a hospital long enough and you learn the sounds of pain. A junkie going through withdrawal curses and moans. A stabbing victim gasps and whimpers. Terminal cancer patients sob quietly.

This cry was a textbook example of a woman in labor.

We rushed from the room like the Three Stooges. Our training urged us to be the first out the door; our fear urged us to let another go first. Somehow I ended up in the lead.

The cry had come from the direction of Pharmacology, so we edged our way down the hall. There were no more marble mannequins; this part of the hospital was essentially closed at night save for a single pharmacist.

An unlucky pharmacist. He stood frozen behind the waist high divider that was supposed to keep the desperate from nicking the good stuff. You could hear the sounds of deep breathing from the back of the room, but the floor-to-ceiling cabinets containing the meds hid the patient from our view. Her Lamaze coach would be proud.

I started to clamber over the counter, but Dr. Singh grabbed my arm and held me back.

“Let me go. Maybe whatever is going on won’t affect the unliving,” he offered.

I hesitated. My combat training was kicking in, and the ‘ooh-rahs’ were echoing in my head, urging me to vault the divider and charge in. Singh had a good point, though. Zombies were resistant to every known disease and toxin. He might have a better shot at getting through this.

I backed off and let him go.

He had a hard time climbing up, and finally the Father and I had to give him a boost. He slid his legs around and stepped to the floor. The patient cried out again. The contractions were getting closer together.

“She’s lying on the ground. I think her…oh. Oh my!”

“What? Doctor Singh, what is it?” I called out.

The only answer was more huffing and groaning. And hissing?

I looked at Father Murphy. He shrugged and gave me an ‘I don’t know’ look. He brought his crucifix to his lips and kissed it gently, then hopped up on the counter.

“Wait! I have an idea.”

*

Minutes later, we stood in the Imaging department. I plunked myself down in front of the imaging computer and pulled up Ms. Gordon’s records. I whistled softly.

“What is it?” Murphy asked. “What are those lines in the skull?”

I gave him a sardonic grin.

“Snakes,” I said. “Why’d it have to be snakes?”

I jumped to my feet and started rummaging through the cabinets that lined the far wall.

“Get to Security, Father, and see if you can figure out how to work the camera controls. I have an idea.”

It took longer than I liked, but I found what I was looking for. I ran to meet up with Murphy.

I found perched in a comfy chair in front of a bank of closed-circuit monitors. We’d gotten lucky – there were cameras throughout the hospital, but there probably wasn’t a square inch of the pharmacy that wasn’t covered. The Schedule II meds were a big temptation.

I traced the video cables back to the PC that controlled the system. A stuffed penguin stood by its side. (Picture 5) Must be a Linux server, I thought, same as the stuff in the Imaging lab. I ripped open the case and inserted the circuit board I’d pilfered.

I used a Y-cable to split the signal running to the monitors, and ran the second cable to the input on the newly-installed card.

*
“Are you sure this will work?” Murphy’s voice whispered in my ear.

“Louder,” I replied, “I can barely hear you. And no, I’m not sure. But I can’t hold a metal shield and deliver a baby at the same time.”

“Is this better?” Louder, this time.

“Good. Ok, patch me into the camera over the admitting desk.”

The image in the VR goggles I’d looted from the Medical Imaging department blinked out for a moment, and then was replaced by a birds-eye view of the rock garden in Emergency. I looked up at the camera and felt a ripple of vertigo as I looked at myself looking at myself. (Picture 3)

“Ok, good. Switch to the cameras in the Pharmacy. I’ll pop the goggles back on before I go in.”

I raised the goggles, taking care not to dislodge the earpiece and lapel mike.

“You’re clear,” Murphy reported. “She hasn’t moved.”

I scooted down the hall and stopped just beyond the counter. I dropped the goggles back into place and tried to get my bearings.

It was surreal, dream-like. The camera was opposite me, so I had to do everything in reverse. As I moved between shelves, the priest switched cameras. I worked my way to the very back of the stockroom.

Magaera lay on the floor, legs slightly spread. She looked like she’d been through the wringer. The floor appeared wet, but I couldn’t tell from the black-and-white video feed if it was blood or just amniotic fluid.

I steeled myself, then looked at her head. Serpents writhed and hissed and snapped at the air. She must have heard me, or maybe she saw what the snakes saw, because she opened her eyes and stared right at me.

Nothing. No tingling, so sudden stiffness. I relaxed slightly.

“What…what’s wrong with me?” she whimpered.

“It’s ok, it’s gonna be ok,” I answered. “I’m a doctor.”

I slowly removed my lab coat, taking care to re-attach the mike to my scrubs.

“Ok, now, I’m going to have to cover your head. Don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine.”

I tossed the coat over her head. The snakes went wild, the coat rippling as they struggled to extricate themselves. So far, so good.

I hesitantly raised the goggles and knelt before the distressed woman. I pushed the hospital gown back and set to work.

The baby was tiny, fitting comfortably in the palm of my hand. (Picture 4) The head was oversized and oddly-shaped, and I wondered what she would grow up to be. Kids could be mean, although I guessed being able to turn your tormentors into lawn ornaments would cut down on the teasing.

“It’s a girl.”

Magaera was spent, her breathing slow but regular. I was holding the child with one hand and rummaging through my pockets with the other looking for something to tie off the cord.

“Sean! We’ve got company,” Father Murphy hissed in my ear. “The cavalry is here.”

I started to call out to the cops, to warn them to stay back, when I saw a red dot appear centered on the lab coat covering Magaera’s head.

“Back away, doc, and get out of the way. We’ll take it from here,” a no-nonsense voice barked.

I slow interposed myself between the police and my patient.

“It’s under control. Go get a gurney and leave it in the hall,” I called back. “No shooting – there’s a baby here,” I added.

The red dot wavered and disappeared. Over my shoulder, I could hear the officer withdraw.

*

Everything turned out ok for the flexibility-challenged in the hospital. The petrifaction turned out to be temporary; within twenty-four hours all the victims had returned to normal. Dr. Singh was the last to recover, but his impromptu time-out didn’t even faze him. He was already planning his next research paper.

Magaera and her baby were doing fine as well. I’d offered to continue her care, and the pediatric doctors offered no objection. We’d move the neo-natal care equipment into the mother’s room out of caution. We didn’t think the baby could hurt anyone but the house attorney had damn near died on the spot when we suggested leaving the daughter in the same room with other babies.

The techs had refined the goggle setup, adding a camera to a head strap that made the image almost normal. I was reading over the results of the last blood work when Magaera stirred. The serpents on her head started waving about and hissing.

She looked confused, and I started to put a hand on her shoulder to reassure her when an asp snapped at me. I jerked my hand back.

“Just relax. Everything is fine. Your little girl is going to be ok,” I assured her.

I wheeled the incubator closer to the bed. Magaera’s gaze fell on her baby, and I realized that no matter how weird things got around here, some things were universal. Her eyes lit up like every other new mother I’d ever seen.

The snakes stilled, and god help me, their hisses turned to coos. I didn’t think snakes could coo.
 

tadk

Explorer
Throwing it Down

*If I had a week more I could do more with it. Here we go*
*Good Luck my esteemed opponent*



Throwing it Down

© 2007 CW Kelson III (Tad)
All Rights Reserved
A Tale of the Tech no' Logical Worlds
Ceramic DM Competition, Round 2, Spring 07



This is a tale told with all my dark art craft.

All tales, all stories, all remembrances future or past, are real, in one form or another. They are real because it is agreed on, in the singular or the plural, that all things are real, all elements are possible, life has potential, and the striving of kind is the end pursuit of the act of breathing.

This is as real as anything else that exists in the realm of light, this tale to be told to you that are taking the time to read the missive constrained with the English Language, the act of typing, the relating of a story pursuant to other frameworks and ideas.

This is a story of reality, how things really are in the Real World ™ instead of the make believe world of truth, honor, democracy, and politicians. This is how it is underneath it all, where madness is the stuff of everyday occurrence, and where hope can blossom in the most unlikely of places. This is the story of people, like and unlike all the rest that have crawled across the face of Mother Earth.

These are words of what things are like when you get below the sticky sweet surface of corporate responsibility, and just get down to business.
Just.
Throwing it down.



Starting off:

Lost in cavernous malls populated with hollow shells fueled by endless outs of over sugared caffeine in stark recycled white and green highlights, the two couples waltz through the mindless drones of modern thought.

The Doctor, the Liar and their twin loves all dancing to tunes only they can hear, up and down the endless alleys and side sections, in front of the strip malls with the same products, phones, hair, fingers and toes, as well as prepackaged food, the difference is usually only the name blazoned across the front of the establishment, and sometimes it is difficult to make out the lettering, they all look the same.
[Pic of the Doctor and the Priest}

"Love is nothing but a performing art" the liar said in his mockery of piety, "Filled with Palms, Blackberries, and other PDAs conducted in the privacy of the self-esteem and home, hopefully for some people."
[Pic of the two ladies standing or dancing, not sure]

"But you are wrong there my good man," the Doctor spouts off around his trademarked drink, warm in the summer sun, cold in the winter months, available to anyone with the coin to drop, "I find you utterly wrong in this regard."

Small children still with minds left are dragging their parents from one distraction to another. The mothers are less susceptible than the fathers, inoculation started early with baby dolls and other ragged promises.

The quartet staggers on down the crowded shopping mall, pausing to purchase nothing, to savor and regret even less. Waiting for the call to come and visit the other, to get the ball rolling down the hillside once more into that gray area of light and dark.



Throwing it down.
Long before it all started, as an starting point to The World

"The ratios are off your Lordship," the technician is cowering behind the plate glass, tempered in the forge fed by mistakes and fueled with anger and despair, "the timing is wrong, the placements are suboptimal, as well as immediate deformities arising."
”As you can see from this prototype this human genome is not as adaptable to the alterations required, it needs to be modified before further alterations will take effect.”

The technician knows when to finally close its mouth, and await the fate in store with the deliverance of news not conducive to prolonged existence.

“Well,” smooth, sardonic, akin to smoke sliding across a gently resting pond in the middle of virgin wilderness, “Well it seems there are limitations to the species, it will take a few generations longer I suppose. No matter for it, draft plans to cull the herds more to speed up the process, start a few wars or something, just make it happen.” Glint of black on black, white chiffon dangling at the cravat line, pallid white flesh that has never been touched by the light of the sun, paler than the deepest cave bred mushroom could strive or dream to achieve, echoed in the ebony of the drapery and finery that adorned the skeletal structure with its scant covering of an epidermis. Turn on the heel and leave out the stone bound wooden door deep in the fastness of the earth.
[Pic of the alien looking thing in the hands]

The technician goes back to work, time to destroy the test material. Time to start over again, there is no lack of raw material to work with. Even when using only the local stock walking around the facility, it might be decades before they would need to tap back into the outside world for fresh stock to manipulate among the humans. Time passes slowly when there is all of it left in eternity stretching out in front of the eyes.



Throwing it down.

Keeping it all in check

Death comes knock knock knocking on the basement door
tick tock tick tock the clock strikes the hours on the dot, tick tock tick tock
stealthy little steps up and down the cold concrete floor
while the water goes drip drip drip down the back of the neck standing in the puddle watching the seepage seep
This is where the boundaries are weakened with each and every birth that is forced into the world, with each drawing of breath, of each outreaching of unnatural arms, does the fabric become ever so slightly more torn, ever so gently more ripped, worn away with the work of the unceasing mechanics of design taking all into endless ripostes of control and harmony enforced with blade and shovel into the cold hard ground to bury the dissenting.
This is what is happening every single day to the world, as it grows colder with the lack of human hearts, with the expansion of the meme of consumerism, with the advent of one world scattered to all the corners, forever reaching hands out to touch, and unable to make solitary contact.
This is what is happening when man does not care about man, woman ignores woman, children are cruel to one and another, all the while the pets run rampant, feral lurking behind each overturned rubbish bin called a home by the homeless, it only takes a few generations for domesticated porcine to become feral razorback killers, the potential lurks under the torn and broken flesh with each step into broken glass of a relationship.
There are things out there, that touch on the lives of men, women and children, bringing out life and pouring death as a decanter of wine is emptied into each and every glass at a banquet, leaving none spared the embrace of the bitter absinthe like slide down the throat of the nightshade that comes with the passing of time, or the swiftness of stolen eternity cut short in a spray of crimson flecked foam from a gurgling pair of lips. This is when it all turns sour, heads south and drops out of sight six feet under the ground with only weeping as a memorial.
This is what happens when hearts have grown colder, as the Ice Age of the soul steals away the warmth of human interaction, borne away on the wings of gold and lust for power.



Throwing it down.

Rocked Lives torn into tiny scraps of putrid flesh decayed lying in the gutter.

Standing outside the dingy tenement square, where the time has stopped for all practical purposes, but still it crawls as a carcass twitches in the final throes of rigor mortis, death gases nearly complete in emission.

The bloated corpse, once a female from the vestigial traces of an outline, is left to rot away into nothing. The old man, growing older in the passing of time, letting the flecks of life drip off his fingertips making way for more pain and despair, every breath a small concession to living again, moves from the shadows into the light of the doorway, eager to enter and see what the others have concocted this time. There in the endless battle against entropy, the dark destroyer of all that was lovely and beautiful. At one time he felt that religion was the true evil, then it was money, later on it was the fickle nature of man, when all along it was the endless decay into mindless entropy, the winding down of choice into destruction, that is the true root of all that is inimical to love and happiness.

Now he just knows it is all lies, the words spoken by the big governments, by the giant multinationals, the lies told by those in power, as well as those desiring power and dominion over others. They are all lies, meant to mislead and confuse the real issues, of life, love, giving, and being creative. Those are the true boons of mankind on the skein of existence. Instead though, the words of hate, of greed, of existence for the sake of consumerism flow in torrents to rival the largest of waterfalls made with imagination and delight.

The leftover man, the remnant carried out of the depths of the past, across the wide worlds and left forgotten in the dark wire twisted realms of nether fey that drift along, tormenting all they come across. The Remnant limped along the darkly lit ways down the streets, making his way to meet up with the others of his little cliché. Too few to be of notice, too many to gather safely, meeting up with the Doctor (really only in name along and not in function, assumed name at that), the Liar and their Twin Loves (not lovers) to discuss their findings of the recent past. The Remnant wanders along, with cup in hand, goggles for the dust and miasma that floats in particulate state, and with a hat on to disguise and dissuade comments, he walks along and dreams of the days before he knew of other things. He makes a lonely path on the urban sidewalks looking for answers in the world all about and around him.
Footsteps echoing in the distance of time, down the rusted stairwell into the bowels, rumbling coming from deep below, steam pipes breaking open to spill open second and degree forms of almost or actual death, while pumps eat themselves alive in the frenzy of unmentioned states of existence.

[Pic of the b/w guy with the big goggles on]

Down into the depths he descends, seeker’s journey in the waking state. The others should be there as well, in the meeting place, where they can discuss what can be done to thwart what seems to be occurring all about the world, in the skies, under the waves, buried in the rocks dredged up from the bones of the planetary body.

The Doctor’s pale flesh, by design rather than genetics, gleams in the soft bulbs illuminating the small room where the five are all meeting at. The cold steel table is bolted to the floor, relic of a time when someone with a scalpel made this their work space. Now it is somewhere far from prying eyes, electronic devices, and full of cold iron to ward the unwanted from spying on the conversation.

The Liar and his ruddy complexion making a fine mockery of health and good fitness habits, was next to enter the space. He in his usual frock of black, pretending to know things he does not profess to adhere to. His boots always go click, click, click as he steps on metal plates or doorstops.

The twins enter, the loves of the flesh of these conspirators. Really little more than mindless blood and sinew automatons, they are a pleasant distraction as well as eye candy to distract from the two men on their dealings.

The ensemble is all there, another round of expository about to ensue, another bout of philosophical masturbatory fantasies of making a difference when the hand basket has already be doused with accelerant and the roadside flare is burning almost into the Kelvin.

“So where does the road lie this day.” The Doctor in typical obtuse fashion just spouts, never saying anything, never doing anything, never meaning anything.
“Ohh look a dead spider, dears come and look at it!” One of the twin loves, with the aplomb and intelligence that selective breeding for looks not brains will produce, ohh the wonder of the anorexic age.
“Not now my sweets, our dear meditator, I mean mediator, has something he wished to discuss with us all.” The Liar smoothing the way, as usual, decorated in the usual frock of lies and disguise.

“This is over, I am done.” The lost one, lonely, short, getting round and hairy leftover from a bye gone age, one of life and the want to help others, just sighs out loud.
“If this is who wants to change the world, then what is the point to change?”
“Go ahead, go back to the malls, the stores, the lies, the latest fashions, I am through with this world anyways. Time to move on.”

“But dear sir,” The Doctor who is not a doctor in reality, in typical Moulin feeling, “But dear sir, we are here to lend a helping hand, or perhaps eight.”

“I say, what is going on?” Caught in the lie of paying attention, the Liar looks up from his attempted observations of almost displayed distractions while the mindless pair coo and awe over the desiccated remains of an arachnid.

“He says he is through, all done with it all, the quest, the search, the good fight.”

“Yes I am done.” The chest sighs, heaves, pain flares on the inside, anxiety and panic at constant war ever since fleeing from the first set of chains, only to find the ones forged all alone in the dark, wandering lost rain streaked roads and back alleys, were all the tighter for being self-inflicted.

“Well if that is all, why did you call us down here good sir?” Indignity at the duration to come here, indignity at the lack of couth it might appear, the faux man of cloth stands straighter, evidence of too few meals missed straining at the seams.

“Lets go sweeties, the spider bores us.” One or the other of the twin loves, who can tell them apart unless they were to be tattooed or branded, one could imagine they cannot tell a difference save if one should sleep, but that might require a brain that was leached out in the modern school system.

“Yes, forget him, let us all depart,” The Doctor or was it the Liar says that. The lonely man has his head bowed in entropic reaction to fatigue.

The other four make their way out the door, forgetting why they came there almost immediately, the stain of almost confrontation draining away under the ever increasing acidic PH balance of the fog on the ground once back to the city streets.

Far below, where the pipes have rusted away, and the remains of dead insects lie, the Remnant, the leftover one, he who escaped a captivity of servitude, stands all alone chained with links forged of his own device.



Throwing it down.

Far behind the scenes, back where The Dark Fae Queen and The Fox Queen both held their courts when they would deign to touch the earth, there a lonely old man, on his birthday in fact, a lonely old man sits in a forgotten corner of a server room. His sole task being the monitoring of traffic devoted to search engine requests and how it affects the speed of the various government owned and operated supercomputers, as they being non-private sector tend to be overloaded and called upon for tasks unrelated to their true purposes.

He and his stuffed animal hand puppet, Wiggly the Penguin, sit and spend their lives there, watching the HDDs spin up and spin down, there in the server room locked away from sight and sound of the outside world.
[Pic of the Blue penguin and the blade server rack]

Nothing ever happens to them, and someday this other lonely old man will die of old age sitting there watching nothing happen to him at all.

While his counterpart stands all alone in the darkness, paralyzed with his own self.



This is a tale told with all my dark art craft.
It is a tale of The World, and how it impacts the rest of creation, with pain, fear, loathing, disgust and lies.
It is not over yet.
 

tadk

Explorer
Rodrigo

Rodrigo

My comments on your story

[SBLOCK]

Way cool, I love it. I want more in that setting. So Dresden meets ER. Completely neat and if you write novels or more in that setting I would buy them.

Thank you and best to you in the next round

[/SBLOCK]
 


Berandor

lunatic
Two more stories, innit? Here are some random associations right after reading:

[sblock]Rodrigo Istalindir
“Oh, good,” I replied, attempting to sound bitter and cheerful at the same time. “Two hours of sleep every two days is plenty.”
Ahh – the life of a Ceramic DM contestant :) I really enjoyed your idea of medusaic labor. It's a weird world you throw us in, but it fits to the proceedings pretty nicely. I had to think of "Alone in the Dark" and similar computer games with fixed camera points when the doctor moved through the drug cabinet. In the end I feared a turn for the worst, that the mother would petrify her child (since it's not clear that it, too, will be a medusa). I also find it interesting that the mother is treated matter-of-factly; I mean, even a 24 hour petrification would be quite the downer. So I expected something to the effect that she was undergoing some training for her abilities. And while I laughed at your penguin picture – those Linux fans can be pretty rabid, after all :) – it's not that strong a use. But all in all, a very enjoyable, irreverent little story. Thanks.

tadk
The cellar of an isolated and defunct hospital. Rust bleeding from walls. A long hallway, naked lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling every now and then, buoys of light in a sea of darkness. Each buoy illustrating a moment frozen in time, something recognizable, but nothing you can understand without knowing its past or future, drifting along in emptiness. The glimpse of a face, someone dancing, searching, and in between... nothing. Then a door, too rusty to be opened, but having a small barred window into a cell. A scene, a play, but then the bulb above flickers and dies, and darkness takes its reign again.

That is me reading your entry. Once more some very nice imagery – especially the ending I felt was great, it echoed within me – but this time I got mostly lost. Sometimes I would grasp at things that resonated, only to have them disappear into confusion again, pulling me in behind them.

That's really all I can say to your story right now. Thank you for posting it. It won't be easily forgotten (for good or ill ;))[/sblock]
 

tadk

Explorer
Thanks

Berandor said:
Two more stories, innit? Here are some random associations right after reading:

[sblock]
tadk
The cellar of an isolated and defunct hospital. Rust bleeding from walls. A long hallway, naked lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling every now and then, buoys of light in a sea of darkness. Each buoy illustrating a moment frozen in time, something recognizable, but nothing you can understand without knowing its past or future, drifting along in emptiness. The glimpse of a face, someone dancing, searching, and in between... nothing. Then a door, too rusty to be opened, but having a small barred window into a cell. A scene, a play, but then the bulb above flickers and dies, and darkness takes its reign again.
[/sblock]

[sblock]

Totally cool lines up there
I wish I had written those.

Yes My style of writing is pretty outre'
I hate to admit my emails, my in person converstations, my lines of thought run those same sorts of tracks, unless it is some business related item then all dry like croutons left in too long is how I end up writing.

I appreciate you reading my offering, I like your comments, blame the Cat, he said write how I want not to write to the contest, so I did. :)
All Piratecat's Fault you know.
Either way thank you so much for your comments, I appreciate the time you took to compose them
TK

[/sblock]
 

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