GreyLord
Legend
I feel this is a FAR more serious topic than what we normally discuss, but is directly pertinent to D&D (which made me wonder whether to post it here or elsewhere).
This is about what I feel is actual child abuse, and from some of the things I've heard from older D&D players, there are many here who suffered from what I think might be severe child abuse.
Today I found out about some (what I would classify) fanatically religious parents. The Satanic panic was decades ago, but apparently some still believe this way.
I occasionally host a game for kids and others at a public place. There were two brothers that came. One is around 12 and the other probably around 16. Today, I found out that the twelve year old had snuck out of the house to meet with us, simply to tell us that his parents had forbidden him from coming to play D&D anymore.
Now, this kid had seemed to love the game. This game was 5th edition and he had actually spent his money to buy the PHB and one of the Monster books (I believe it was Mordekainen's). His parents had saw him toting the books, and took them and threw them away (I imagine there was more after our experience today, but as I was not there, it is conjecture to know what they went through). No reason, no cause, except that they told him it was devil worship and he was worshipping the Devil from doing so.
He had come to our group (against his parent's wishes) to tell us that he was not able to come anymore after this. We are in the middle of talking when his parents come by. They are furious. They tell him to go to the car and then spot his older brother. They tell him that he has a lot of explaining to do and that if he doesn't stop being with devil worshippers (us...yeah...us) they are going to kick him out of the house.
I did not know what to do, except sit in stunned silence. However, it struck me that this was a situation of extreme child abuse. All of us at the venue were stunned though. I didn't quite know what to do. I don't think any of us did. Later I thought perhaps I should call the police, but what could I say? Would they actually categorize it as abuse?
It SOUNDS as extreme abuse to me. Now, I'm not entirely innocent in some matters. A while ago I wanted my kid to convert over to playing D&D 5e from 4e. I was tired of DMing 4e (I was the sole DM for his group, it was always I who had to DM). I took his 4e books off the shelf and replaced them with 5e books. I did it partly as a prank (for his reaction when he saw that they were gone, though I promptly told him where they actually were after that) but also partly because I was trying to get him to switch over to 5e (of which he had been highly resistant to up until that point). Now, I did NOT toss his books, I actually got a black file box (I believe it is a Standford plastic filebox) which fit his books almost perfectly and put them carefully into one of those. I then put them next to his bedroom door where they have sat for the past few months untouched (his choice, he can put them wherever he wants or get them out anytime he wants, they are his to do with what he wants). He did get into 5e and actually is DMing one or two groups on his own now. However, I DID take them off the shelf initially, which may be my bad.
I got a lot of flack when I mentioned it here, and probably rightfully so. Looking back on it, I might have done things somewhat differently. However, unlike the situation today, I did not actually toss anything. I probably would have not done it so much as a prank either if I had a do over.
That said, this seems FAR worse. They actually tossed something he had saved up his money for and bought. The threatened to toss his brother out on his own (16 years of age, there has to be something against that), simply for playing this game.
This also made me think. There are others here that have had similar, if not the exact same type of experience. I do not remember who they were exactly, but there are stories people have told (that I've read) about their parents or others taking their books and throwing them away (or one I remember, of someone having their books burned). After what happened today, I would absolutely categorize that as abuse...and not just abuse but severe abuse. To me, that indicates that this community may have had many who had severe child abuse done to them while they were young.
Just thoughts and questions I had about it...
First, as you are here still, it obviously did NOT work to stop you from playing D&D.
Second, do you see it as abuse (as I obviously now think it was)?
If you see it as abuse, how severe do you consider it on a severity scale. Was it extreme abuse, light abuse...how severe would you consider it?
Third, how has it affected you from then until now?
With those, the final thing I am wondering if we can do is to highlight this. There has to be a way to show that this WAS abuse and to somehow help those who suffered from this type of child abuse to have a safe haven and a safe place to hear others who had stories like this. There could be a place that they can hear the stories, how it affected people and how they healed from this type of abuse.
After the intial reaction and the parents left, we were stunned for quite a while. I do not know how it has affected the other children and adults that were there today, but after the session I've grown more and more angry about it. The more I think about it, the more I think this was pure child abuse. This was not just a punishment, it was taking a child's books/toys/possessions that they had personally bought themselves and throwing it away for no good reason. It was pure spite. I'm pretty outraged.
Even if it is not classified as abuse, after seeing it done, I think it should be somehow considered as such. This kid had played with us for a little bit on Sundays and had saved up their money/allowance for months to buy these books (I think they got around $5 a week, and they got it at a Barnes & Nobles right close to where we had the sessions). It FEELS wrong to me.
For those of you who grew up dealing with this in your life, how did you deal with this as you grew up and later as you became adults, how has it affected you today?
I think it is far more rare today, but when it pops up like this, how can we combat such things? Is there anything WE can do to stop (at least this is what I consider) this type of child abuse? Is there a way to make a safe space for those who suffered (or are suffering) from things like this on this forum or another one? Is there something legal one can do?
It deeply bothered me if you cannot tell. I feel for ALL of you who had to or went through such things as children and am sorry that you had such a thing to deal with in your life.
This is about what I feel is actual child abuse, and from some of the things I've heard from older D&D players, there are many here who suffered from what I think might be severe child abuse.
Today I found out about some (what I would classify) fanatically religious parents. The Satanic panic was decades ago, but apparently some still believe this way.
I occasionally host a game for kids and others at a public place. There were two brothers that came. One is around 12 and the other probably around 16. Today, I found out that the twelve year old had snuck out of the house to meet with us, simply to tell us that his parents had forbidden him from coming to play D&D anymore.
Now, this kid had seemed to love the game. This game was 5th edition and he had actually spent his money to buy the PHB and one of the Monster books (I believe it was Mordekainen's). His parents had saw him toting the books, and took them and threw them away (I imagine there was more after our experience today, but as I was not there, it is conjecture to know what they went through). No reason, no cause, except that they told him it was devil worship and he was worshipping the Devil from doing so.
He had come to our group (against his parent's wishes) to tell us that he was not able to come anymore after this. We are in the middle of talking when his parents come by. They are furious. They tell him to go to the car and then spot his older brother. They tell him that he has a lot of explaining to do and that if he doesn't stop being with devil worshippers (us...yeah...us) they are going to kick him out of the house.
I did not know what to do, except sit in stunned silence. However, it struck me that this was a situation of extreme child abuse. All of us at the venue were stunned though. I didn't quite know what to do. I don't think any of us did. Later I thought perhaps I should call the police, but what could I say? Would they actually categorize it as abuse?
It SOUNDS as extreme abuse to me. Now, I'm not entirely innocent in some matters. A while ago I wanted my kid to convert over to playing D&D 5e from 4e. I was tired of DMing 4e (I was the sole DM for his group, it was always I who had to DM). I took his 4e books off the shelf and replaced them with 5e books. I did it partly as a prank (for his reaction when he saw that they were gone, though I promptly told him where they actually were after that) but also partly because I was trying to get him to switch over to 5e (of which he had been highly resistant to up until that point). Now, I did NOT toss his books, I actually got a black file box (I believe it is a Standford plastic filebox) which fit his books almost perfectly and put them carefully into one of those. I then put them next to his bedroom door where they have sat for the past few months untouched (his choice, he can put them wherever he wants or get them out anytime he wants, they are his to do with what he wants). He did get into 5e and actually is DMing one or two groups on his own now. However, I DID take them off the shelf initially, which may be my bad.
I got a lot of flack when I mentioned it here, and probably rightfully so. Looking back on it, I might have done things somewhat differently. However, unlike the situation today, I did not actually toss anything. I probably would have not done it so much as a prank either if I had a do over.
That said, this seems FAR worse. They actually tossed something he had saved up his money for and bought. The threatened to toss his brother out on his own (16 years of age, there has to be something against that), simply for playing this game.
This also made me think. There are others here that have had similar, if not the exact same type of experience. I do not remember who they were exactly, but there are stories people have told (that I've read) about their parents or others taking their books and throwing them away (or one I remember, of someone having their books burned). After what happened today, I would absolutely categorize that as abuse...and not just abuse but severe abuse. To me, that indicates that this community may have had many who had severe child abuse done to them while they were young.
Just thoughts and questions I had about it...
First, as you are here still, it obviously did NOT work to stop you from playing D&D.
Second, do you see it as abuse (as I obviously now think it was)?
If you see it as abuse, how severe do you consider it on a severity scale. Was it extreme abuse, light abuse...how severe would you consider it?
Third, how has it affected you from then until now?
With those, the final thing I am wondering if we can do is to highlight this. There has to be a way to show that this WAS abuse and to somehow help those who suffered from this type of child abuse to have a safe haven and a safe place to hear others who had stories like this. There could be a place that they can hear the stories, how it affected people and how they healed from this type of abuse.
After the intial reaction and the parents left, we were stunned for quite a while. I do not know how it has affected the other children and adults that were there today, but after the session I've grown more and more angry about it. The more I think about it, the more I think this was pure child abuse. This was not just a punishment, it was taking a child's books/toys/possessions that they had personally bought themselves and throwing it away for no good reason. It was pure spite. I'm pretty outraged.
Even if it is not classified as abuse, after seeing it done, I think it should be somehow considered as such. This kid had played with us for a little bit on Sundays and had saved up their money/allowance for months to buy these books (I think they got around $5 a week, and they got it at a Barnes & Nobles right close to where we had the sessions). It FEELS wrong to me.
For those of you who grew up dealing with this in your life, how did you deal with this as you grew up and later as you became adults, how has it affected you today?
I think it is far more rare today, but when it pops up like this, how can we combat such things? Is there anything WE can do to stop (at least this is what I consider) this type of child abuse? Is there a way to make a safe space for those who suffered (or are suffering) from things like this on this forum or another one? Is there something legal one can do?
It deeply bothered me if you cannot tell. I feel for ALL of you who had to or went through such things as children and am sorry that you had such a thing to deal with in your life.
