@iserith Unfortunately, that clarified nothing. I'm not sure you attempted to answer any of my questions.
I don't know who these handful of folks are, but generally I find that there are differences in play styles based on proposition filters. That is, I know for a fact that some tables would validate propositions like:
"I try to persuade the Baron to lend us troops." or "I try to use my diplomacy to persuade the Baron to lend us troops."
But it is
not at all clear to me that the difference in processes of play between the two tables comes down to failing to understand that actions and checks are not the same thing. On the contrary, these posters prefer to validate those sort of propositions because they suggest that to not do so would risk suggesting a that an uncharismatic player could not play a charismatic character. And in any event, given how rigorously my proposition filter excludes check declaration as a valid proposition, that can't be the source of my confusion.
It doesn't seem that problematic to me. For example, I've raised a very simple question which has repeatedly been ignored. I will now phrase that question in the terms of a very simple example that harkens back to the OP's first post.
Suppose we have a sleeping orc guarding a pie, and a single adventurer. The adventurer's player proposes the action, "I quietly sneak over to the orc, so that I can kill the orc in its sleep." This to me represents a valid proposition. The exact resolution method - how the check works - isn't relevant to the point. The point is that the player has proposed something in the fiction which it is believable for the character to attempt. However, suppose now that the GM determines that the orc is a light sleeper or that otherwise, there is a chance of failure. The GM then calls for a fortune test (the details of which don't matter) to arbitrate between what the GM seems as two possible outcomes to the risky proposition.
A: The player successfully sneaks up to the orc and finishes him off in his sleep.
B: The player makes some noise that wakes the orc, and a difficult and noisy fight ensues.
Several posters in the thread, including myself, have argued that outcome B represents sufficient consequence of failure because outcome A is far more desirable.