D&D 3E/3.5 Critique Sought For Subterranean Creatures

I think the HD/hp are off: with a 16 Con (+3 bonus), it should be 7d8+21 (52 hp), no? (If I'm doing my hp calculation correctly.)

Also, is its name "ember sprite" or "ember sprite gas bag"? You use the latter in the descriptions of its supernatural attacks.

I think I'd change "Immunity to Fire" to "Immunities" given it's immune to more than just fire-based attacks.

Johnathan
 

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I think the HD/hp are off: with a 16 Con (+3 bonus), it should be 7d8+21 (52 hp), no? (If I'm doing my hp calculation correctly.)

Also, is its name "ember sprite" or "ember sprite gas bag"? You use the latter in the descriptions of its supernatural attacks.

I think I'd change "Immunity to Fire" to "Immunities" given it's immune to more than just fire-based attacks.

Johnathan
It's just "ember sprite" as it's a type of gas bag, a term I was using previously. Suggestions noted and fixed.
 

Based on a grell, with a twist.
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Gloomflayers
Large Aberration (Extraplanar)
Hit Dice:
12d8+60 (114 hp)
Initiative: +9
Speed: fly 60 ft. (perfect)
Armor Class: 19 (-1 size, +5 Dex, +5 natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+19
Attack: 2 tentacles +14 (1d6+6 plus paralytic toxin)
Full Attack: 2 tentacles +14 (1d6+6 plus paralytic toxin), bite +9 (2d6+3)
Special Attacks: paralytic toxin, mimicry, bioluminescence, absorb spell-like abilities, improved grab
Special Qualities: blindsight 60ft, immunity to electricity, mind-affecting effects, spell resistance 21
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +9, Will +8
Abilities: Str 22, Dex 20, Con 20, Int 18, Wis 10, Cha 8
Skills: +2 Spellcraft, +2 Use Magic Device
Feats: Combat Expertise, Combat Reflexes, Improved Counterspell, Improved Initiative, Magical Aptitude
Environment: warm caves, volcanic regions
Organization: solitary, pair, or brood (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: double standard
Alignment: N
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment: None
Blindsight (Ex): Gloomflayers have no visual organs but can ascertain all foes within 60 feet, possibly using sound, scent, and vibration, or some other hitherto unknown sensory organ.
Paralytic Toxin (Ex): A creature hit by a tentacle must succeed on a DC 21 Fortitude save or be paralyzed for 1d4 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based.
Mimicry (Ex): A gloomflayer can perfectly mimic the sounds of creatures within a 60-foot radius. This is a free action.
Bioluminescence (Ex): A gloomflayer can emit a blinding flash of light as a standard action. Creatures within a 30-foot radius of the gloomflayer must succeed on a DC 21 Fortitude save or be blinded for 1 round. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Absorb Spell-Like Abilities (Su): A gloomflayer can absorb spells and spell-like abilities as a standard action upon consumption of a brain. It must make a successful opposed Intelligence check (DC 10 + the caster level of the spell) to absorb the spell. The gloomflayer can then use the absorbed spell-like ability as its own, expending a use of its absorb spell-like abilities ability. The gloomflayer has a pool of spell-like abilities equal to its Intelligence modifier (4 random spells/spell-like abilities, 4 uses per day).
Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a gloomflayer must hit a Large or smaller creature with both its tentacle attacks. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it attaches to the opponent’s head and can constrict.
Constrict (Ex): A gloomflayer deals 1d6+8 points of damage with a successful grapple check.

The monster of nightmares, the gloomflayer is an ever-present danger in the depths of the Evergloom resembling a giant brain with long tentacles, floating effortlessly through the air via some unknown means of propulsion as it silently stalks its prey. In addition to prehensile tentacles, it also wields thinner tentacles that hang down with paralytic toxins in tiny stinger needles to ensnare its meals. They also have an uncanny ability to mimic sounds such as clicking and whistling, and use their bioluminescent light to flash and dazzle smaller prey unused to such bright illumination.
Worse, there have been documented cases among the Ebynai of gloomflayers absorbing magical and psionic abilities, gaining even the ability to wield certain magical items through telepathy.
Breeding consists of eggs attached to the ceiling over a breeding pool. When the hatchlings emerge, they drop into the pool where a live but paralyzed victim waits to be devoured by the new gloomflayer spawn.
 
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Well, with a Dexterity of 20 and the Improved Initiative feat, its initiative bonus should be +9, rather than +6.

Also, with 12 Hit Dice, it should have five feats instead of two.

EDIT: and I'd bump that spell resistance up to 21 as well.
 

Fixed. Not sure what kind of alien culture they would have as they can only hold so many spells/spell-like abilities, and only use them so many times a day. However, I suppose that would make them uncanny hunters and one of those existential threats balanced out by the presence of creatures like gloomfetches, ebynai, etc.
 

It looks like its AC values are off, since a 20 Dex provides a +5 bonus, not +4 as listed. So, AC = 19, touch = 14, right? (Or am I missing something?)

Likewise, a 22 Str provides a +6 bonus, so its tentacle damage should probably be 1d6+6 (including its constrict attack) and its bite damage should be 2d6+3 (as secondary attacks only get half of the Strength bonus).

A 12-HD aberration should have a Base Attack Bonus of +9, not +10. That'll drop its grapple to +19 (+9 BAB, +4 size, +6 Str) and change its attacks to +14 melee for the tentacles (+9 BAB, -1 size, +6 Str) and I assume +9 melee for the bite (as it doesn't have the Multiattack feat). Also, aberrations have d8s for HD, so it should have 12d8+60 HD (114 hp).

As for feats, Improved Grab is an attack, not a feat, so that frees up an extra feat if you want to give it Multiattack to get its bite attacks up to +12 melee. (Or pick a different fifth feat, as desired.) And whle we're at it, I'm not sure about Improved Counterspell - can the gloomflayer "counterspell" using its stolen spell-like abilities? I'm a little fuzzy on how that works.

Johnathan
 

I was under the impression that the improved counterspell actually made more sense since it would allow the gloomflayer to be less specific with its ability to counterspell--it could then use a spell of the same school to counter instead of that spell specifically. I.e., it's using the energy from the same type of spell (or school) in some way. This to me makes more sense that it should be less difficult for something like a gloomflayer that uses some mysterious mental process to capture that energy and be able to reflect it back as needed. Spell-like abilities might be usable only on a case-by-case basis (for instance, something that uses offensive illusionary magic that isn't just an area effect), but spells should otherwise be fair game, up to the level of the the HD of the gloomflayer.
 

It looks like you forgot to update its AC and damage values.

And it looks like its saves are off by a bit, too: as a 12-HD aberration (with good Will saves), its Fort save should be +9 and its Ref save should be +9.

Johnathan
 

Yeah, I just caught it. I apologize. This is what I get for using AI that I should have checked better. I will do better on the next one. I'm updating things on two different tabs and trying to wrangle a 3 year old. lol
 


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