D&D General D’jomar my homebrew race is ready for review.

Mind of tempest

(he/him)advocate for 5e psionics
okay, so what do you guys think I think I am ready for full use but I want your opinions first to see how to improve them feel free to suggest things that will help massively?

Dawnborn: what would someone do for faith or does one even have it? A culture of city-states known for their fanatical cults of the becoming gods: stretching from war gods, dark undeath gods to the machine god of the artificers.

Duskborn: story why should someone want to be more? nation-states to contrast with the dawnborn not much more than that right now maybe something to do with the transformation of self and the world?

Noonborn: story what does it mean to be part of nature? roaming nomads who seek improvement via pain not evil but oddly macabre have an order of blind druids who stare into the sun for prophecy

Creature Type. You are an Aberration

Size. You are Medium.

Speed. Your walk speed is 30 feet.

Ability Score Increase.

Age. ??? typically reach adulthood at age 20. They can live for almost 200 years.

Psionic Power You learn one Cantrip from the Enchantment, Illusion, or Divination schools. At character creation, you choose Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma to be the ability associated with this feature.

Secondary Arms. You have two slightly smaller secondary arms below your primary pair of arms. The secondary arms function like your primary arms, with the following exceptions:

• You can use a secondary arm to wield a weapon that has

the light property, but you can’t use a secondary arm to wield other kinds of weapons.

• You can’t wield a shield with a secondary arm.

Aberrant Hide. You can absorb some small portion of magic or kinetic energy directed at you. As a reaction when you are hit by a spell or weapon attack, you can spend a hit die to reduce the damage you take from the blow. If you reduce the damage to 0, any additional hit points leftover are instead turned into temporary hit points. You can use this ability a number of times equal to your proficiency modifier, and regain all uses after a long rest.

Darkvision. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You discern colours in that darkness only as shades of grey.

Optional content

Languages. You speak common and deep speech

A truly ancient race having long left the far realm for the prime material and the shadowfell, they are normally found in the far reaches of the worlds from forgotten swamps or far peaks to the depths of the Underdark or desert oasis. Since time immemorial they have been seekers of truth, knowledge and enlightenment both to their great success and other times to their great dismay They are now a divided people some seeking a way back to relevance and powers and to restore what they lost for both good and ill, others wish to transform into a something more but have a long slow grind first and finally, one faction seeks to be one with nature for all the joys and horrors that grants.

Relations with the common and uncommon races.

They find halflings utterly alien and gnomes to be useful but far too chaotic for long term partnership. dwarves to bound to tradition but good workers and excellent crafters and elves to unreliable but good for trade and excellent for learning magic from, humans useful but are all over the map in temperaments. Dragonborn they get on with well with, certainly well with the gem strain and they just lump tieflings in with humanity seemingly disregarding the hellish heritage.

Relations with the aberrations.

Aboleth can be great sage assuming you wish to risk your skin, Beholders are crazy, avoid or kill at your discretion. Mindflayers are competition but we are useless to them so chilly relations, Neogi just kill them as they hate everything and will enslave everything.

three - eyes stare out from an oversized cranium it’s w shaped pupils scan the world rapidly, six tentacles surround its wide mouth writhing when the creature is pleased.

It lacks a nose or any trace of nostrils. Its mouth brings to mind a skeleton with the sight of its teeth and fierce appearance. a body covered in clammy skin, possessing four arms with six digits, and long legs ending in wide splayed toes that form a crescent shape.

They possess bony armour over their torsos and parts of their heads with what resembles gemstones set in them, this bone armour has parts of it the call to mind seashells and in other parts the leaves of ferns in its latticework. their bone plating comes in a variety of metallic shades, highlighted by bright flourishes of flesh.

Dawnborn: Faith is the single most defining word when describing the Dawnborn known for their city-states built around cults of the gods and the becoming gods cults some are humble workers seeking simply to please their gods with simple acts or basic reverence, those of the becoming gods are fanatical about how even they can become equal to the god and pursue great deeds and fame so that they might luckily raise to that station, more common that the becoming gods are the path of the service these cleric and paladins seek to do the will of the god so they might be reward with a great afterlife or the simple satisfaction of a job well done, these gods stretching from war gods, dark undeath gods to the machine god of the artificers.

Noonborn: In one with nature is how one might describe the Noonborn these are small nomadic tribes of less than two hundred people who are noted for both great kindness and great brutality much like nature herself, free of many of the weaknesses of their city-dwelling cousins. Culturally masochistic they have a tradition called the path of pain where first one will have ceremonial hooks implanted in them they are left to hang for several hours in the hopes of loss of weaknesses more extreme ones will leave the clan entirely so the pain of loss will help them overcome a great weakness or die trying also they possess a strange strain of blind druids who stare into the sun from sunrise to noon who help to guide the tribe away from danger and burn that which can’t be avoided.

Duskborn: What would you do to be more than what you are? That is a question that has gone through the mind of ever Duskborn at least once, noted for both lots monastic orders seeking enlightenment but a hundred ways each with different ways gaining funding from charity, hard work to government assassins and. others course partake of corporeal augmentation or body craft with things like integrated armour or weaponising their bodies as they have a culture of seeking to be more.
Many duskborn are noted for having an urge to become more with many having attempted enlightenment and having found it is not for them, others have tried becoming the ka-zuosu(surpassing warriors is a literal translation) but again find it is not for them
Some seek the fill this urge with great sights or joyous deeds and others try darker things this has led to the duskborn in foreign lands being either hedonistic or utterly zealous in what they do.
Some nations of the duskborn are known for the mercenary augmented armies that they loan out for profit. masks are popular with the Duskborn no one knows why.
The universals of the D’jomar have beyond immediate family a common basic structure called a kar Which is the most basic large group of both societies they are focused on a particular common task from farming, to war and even to the great feats of renown some are short term others are long term or potentially eternal as they will always need doing

These are organized around the kruxers who tend to be the three leaders of the goal at that point they organized and lead the group from there, the equivalent of villages tend to be organized in this fashion as the mission is to survive or provide goods for a neighbouring area, in cities these operate the local level of everything.

Dawnborn: and their cults with their paths towards becoming. All thought they will happily take any who will join them walking the paths is no mean feat, every one of the great paths is difficult and said to be different for each individual but regardless I will explain a basic overview, most of the dawnborn that make up the seeker cults will have known someone to have tried taking up one of the paths which required great focus and discipline to get far or overwhelming good fortune hence most tap out long before they are ever likely to reach god. The one cult tends to dominate a city with each city being nominally theocratic but in practice is run by a council as the cults are much too busy preparing aspirants and trying to make a greater test to push closer to heaven as they believe anyone with the right guidance and skill can get close to the gods. There is no shame in bowing out if one is on a path but great shame in failure as to fail to become a child of the heavens is to have your soul admit weakness to all the universe.

Noonborn: and their clans overall most clans are fairly similar in the basic structure and how leaders are chosen that is mostly a mix of meritocracy and representative democracy with those deemed best fit but the clan to head up the various functions of leadership below them are the task-related kruxers.
Many clans are nomadic being a mix of survivalists, raiders and traders but others have settled down and work for larger civilizations as vassals.
It is noted that in Comparision to other cultures they are largely merciless but fast friends to those who show they are cable at their task never send diplomates who do not care for the task at hand that is how you lose your diplomates, many exiles end up working as bodyguards or mercenaries as all in the clan are trained to fight well.
Duskborn: and their nations, the duskborn nations are noted for being old well established trade nations that rarely do anything significant outside their borders other than some wargames and well trading of interesting good and producing highly skilled people, their treatise on a variety of topic still garner a high price despite being well circulated, they are often pictured as sleepy nations where not much happens any more which is half true as they are noted for being peaceful and diplomatic.
Far more interesting are the varieties of subcultures, which are as followed.
The ka-zuosu or surpassing warriors are what many think of when they think of duskborn mercenaries an army for hire to call them magic post-humans encased in metal armour is only inaccurate in one place they were never human to begin with, reborn to sever in the deathless legions that a rented out so that they stay sharp till the fated day when real war returns to the D’jomar.
The orders of the mind are an invitation-only order of people who seek to understand how the minds of all people.
The survivor cults are orders of self-sufficient that hire themselves out as shadowy assassins several groups also exist beyond the borders of the nations.
The paths of enlightenment are groups of warrior monks who have been said to do both the superhuman and weld strange power, seeking throw trial and error to raise beyond this mortal coil to some greater place, a surprising number of them overlap with the survivor cults or the mental orders also they are noted to have learned this from humans.
Several nations are now vassals of much larger human cultures this is has made the duskborn pick up a stereotype of being easily ruled and conquered despite their fearless military.

Why the D’jomar Go adventuring? Curiosity is a common motivation as daring to know is considered a fundamental motivation and desire in both of the major strains.

Why the members of the dawnborn go adventuring aside from trying to become an exalted being may seek greater understanding of the paths they are on, some seek to serve the gods and others seek simple fame and fortune.

Why the members of the Noonborn go adventuring loss of clan or exile can mean many will put to work their skills as adventures in the hope of gaining so food or shelter, others are on a quest to discover what they’re being part of nature really means to them and finally, some seek out the path of pain so that they may become strong from it.

Why the members of the Duskborn go adventuring many seek great deeds to get into the organisations or fulfilling the orders of such groups, others may seek to find something of worth as they want something built off them. Others seek things more personal from righting a perceived wrong or simple wanderlust.

all types possess any motivation that is common to their class.

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any suggestion to improve it?
The d'lomar looks good as-is.

Maybe for presentation separate out the setting assumptions. Go with a barebones race description, like the harengon in Witchlight. That way, DMs can more easily use the d'jomar for other kinds of settings. For example, a setting might nit have a farrealms but use Aberrations for other things.

The setting assumptions, like the D'jomar cultures and whether elves and dwarves exist or not are useful for knowing how to fit the race in Forgotten Realms and for mining ideas. If for FR, maybe mention how FR populations havent really been aware of them.

Some DMs are squeamish about monstrous characters, such as preferring a more Tolkienesque esthetic. Maybe create a new cantrip which some of the D'jomar can choose for their race cantrip. This cantrip would be a diguise to allow the character to "pass"as "normal". Heh, it reminds me of Gary in the scifi tv Legends, whose glasses make him appear human, but is an Aberration-like alien when he takes them off. The cantrip would be like the changeling shapeshift but more limited, only for one alternate form. Only some d'jomar would know the cantrip.

I will write up the cantrip in an other post, to critique it separately.


Illusion cantrip

Casting Time: 1 bonus action
Range: Self
Components: S
Duration: 1 hour

You make yourself and what you are carrying appear as an alternate form of yourself. You must choose this form when you learn this spell, and you can change it to a new form when you gain a new level. The form must be a unique individual of a Humanoid or a Beast, and can appear Medium or Small.

The apparent form fails under physical inspection. For example, if your chosen form has a hat, a hand attempting to touch it would feel nothing and pass thru it and feel your actual head where it is.

At level 5, you can choose upto two alternate forms.

At level 11, distortions of force can make the form feel as if solid and correct.

At level 17, the form endures until you dismiss it or cast a different form.
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