D&D Fortune Cookies

[Dungeoneer]

Fortunes:

You will meet a trustworthy halfling...

Spoiler

in bed.

Be careful not to incur unnecessary attacks of opportunity...

Spoiler

in bed.

Always protect the squishies...

Spoiler

in bed.

Be sure to check for traps...

Spoiler

in bed.

Now is a good time for an extended rest...

Spoiler

in bed.

Okay, I'm quitting now before I come up with one involving the rules for mounts and get kicked off the forum.

 

[Relique du Madde]

" Dear Reader, Be advised, do not say: 'Klaatu Barada nikto' aloud. It will bring misfortune."

"If you read this, you are flatfooted."

"*EXPLODING RUNE*"

 

[TarionzCousin]

"Never approach a gorgon from the front, a centaur from the rear or a medusa from any direction."

"A rogue is only as faithful as her options."

 

[Scott DeWar]

" Dear Reader, Be advised, do not say: 'Klaatu Barada nikto' aloud. It will bring misfortune."

"If you read this, you are flatfooted."

"*EXPLODING RUNE*"

"Never approach a gorgon from the front, a centaur from the rear or a medusa from any direction."

"A rogue is only as faithful as her options."

all very good ones and i need to spread some xp around befor giving .. .. .. ..

 

[Sorrowdusk]

WRONG!!! The answer is obviously a Bag of Holding!!

And here's another one

Keep your Goals Away From The Trolls

 

[TheAuldGrump]

'Congratulations - You Have Just Found the Lich's Phylactery'
'Help! I am Being Held Prisoner in a Fortune Cookie Factory in Sharn'
'EXPLOSIVE RUNES!'
'Beware the Servants of Lolth'
'The Door You Want in the Dungeon of Doom is Third on the Left From the Stairs, Second Level Down - Fortune by Tramir the Diviner, 27 Gleam St. Sharn.'
'You Have Just Eaten the World's Tiniest Mimic'
'Coupon Good for One Free Backrub at the House of the Golden Lotus - Sharn.'

The Auld Grump

 

[mneme]

++ on "EXPLOSIVE RUNES".

"You have been surprised. Give me a minute, I need to figure out what to hit you with."

"Take the door on the left"

"Keep searching. There's a secret door in here somewhere."

"Good for one free ressurection. Tear up when used. You'll need it."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"This is the world's smallest scroll of Summon Angry Panda." *poof*

RAWR!

 

[shadzar]

"You just ate a mimic, now is its turn for lunch."

 

[Relique du Madde]

"EGG was here."

"*Word of Chaos*"

"The princess is in the other castle."

"Say out loud: ' I want to *Power World Kill* myself.'"

"*Symbol of _______*"

"How does it feel to have eaten a polymorphed child?"

Note: Since the actual words were never written down in any suplement (that I know of), it's hard to tell what is actually written on the fortune.